Things We Do For Love

CHAPTER TWENTY FIVE

Kakashi's P.O.V

A graceful smile accompanied me as I left Y/N at the store. My heartbeat unsteady, breathing hectic and rampant, ears spreading warmth- just a few aftereffects of my encounter with her. Part of me wanted to giggle mightily, skip towards my home and spread my arms as if I was acting in a romance movie. Fully taking in air, I allowed Konoha's sweet scent to mingle my senses, mushing them with the innate desire to walk back inside the store and see her bashful face. I wanted to rake my eyes over her beautiful lips, the hesitance as she invited me. I had almost stopped breathing watching her turn red, those eyes brightening with a depth of emotion I had long yearned to see. I was going ahead of myself but to see her become aware of my presence only made me highly sensitive to her existence. I enjoyed the slight interaction and even though I knew she was nervous from our previous encounter, I was relieved to see her not ignoring me. Some of the passing shinobis raised their brows and waved at me, unsure of my sudden elated mood as I waved back at them. Few of them stopped on their tracks before looking at the rest of the group members, expressing their stunned exchange of seeing me empty handed. I chuckled, shaking my head and looking down the road. It had been a while but today I didn't require reading my book in order to ignore others. I allowed nature and its residents to invade my space.

It reminded me of how meekly she had asked me to move into our bedroom. Her self-consciousness, the way she swayed her hips taking my whole attention. It was difficult to sleep next to her and not touch her, not feel her skin on my fingertips. But I had survived the many nights until one day the dam broke inside me and I took her in my arms, had pulled her into a hot searing kiss only for her to uncage the animal buried in me. I had taken her ferociously and Kami knew I wanted to do it again. 'Slow down Scarecrow' scolding I subdued my inner desperate side that wanted to ravish Y/N. It was too soon, well for her at the least. She wanted to spend a normal evening with me. She was even cooking for me! The idea of tasting her home-prepared meal only raised my appetite; I had to control myself and not eat in order to eat the most at her place.

"First I need to shower" even though I smelled of my usual cold mint shower gel, I decided it was best to enter her dominion with a fresh look. I would have to leave my precious book at home because tonight, it would all be about her. I had to make sure I conveyed my emotions through actions. If she wanted me to be her friend, then I would be her friend. "For now" I loved her with all my heart and if she was allowing a little space for me to take, then I would use it until all of her heart finally ran back to me in due time. I just wanted her to realize my feelings, ones that had remained the same for years. My feet did not take me home at first; they took slow and sturdy steps towards an empty field. Small brick fences enclosed the special place where many had been laid to rest. There weren't a lot of people hovering and some just placed a few flowers before walking away. My destination was situated in an isolated corner with three simple graves, one that had a small elliptical stone standing tall with two little ones- many more beautiful stones circled around the safe protected haven. Unusual to my visits, today I had a smile on my face. I checked my surrounding for a while, trying to sense any chakra or hear sounds of bystanders. When there was none, I pulled down my mask and smiled at them tenderly. I knew it was impossible for them to see how I looked, but I enjoyed the idea and peace it poured into my desolated soul. Hopefully, they would finally get an explanation for my disappearance. Indeed, I brought them some interesting news.

"So, I know I am late" I rubbed my nape and nervously looked at them feeling guilty as the graves seemed barren, no flowers graced them nor where there any signs of visitations. "I know, I know... Papa is late. But I want you two to know that your mom has returned," Another smile befell while my chest got heavier, within a flash the pain returned and it seemed unfair that these two could not feel the warmth their mother had, "That's right, she finally came back and I intend her to visit you two soon. Papa is still working on a plan that will make her remember. Don't be angry or feel bad, I am sure your grandpa is taking good care of you. Your mom needs a little time to adjust to her new life again and she does not even remember me. Crazy, right? I finally get her back and she sees me as a stranger. When I married her, she saw me as a stranger. You won't be mad once she comes though, she has gotten strong. She yields lots of jutsus! And do you know something?" I lowered my voice as if there weren't two tiny graves, instead I pictured two little girls looking at me with a sloppy smile and their chubby hands trying to grab my finger, wishing their Papa would pick them up already and cradle in his arms, "between the three of us, she hasn't seen my face" I teased, already feeling refreshed from meeting my darlings. "I think I will let her see it but not yet. I need to court her and not just see her as my wife. Papa has been a little awkward when it came to her, I acted as if deep down she knew who she was to me and still acted indifferently. I apologize for this silly mistake but now I know what to do and how to do it. I promise you, she will be back" sighing I finally looked at the other grave that stood without a sound, listening to my shenanigans and I could only pass a somber smile thinking my father was laughing but proud of my newly found determination. "Pray for me, dad" I closed my eyes and hoped my request had reached the heavens and rung his doorbell. There was only so much a son could ask from his father and all I wanted was for him to look after me as I started to renew my relationship with Y/N. After bidding them farewell, promising for more visits, I walked to the other graves that had also not seen me in a while. A few minutes passed and this time I was silent, my mask was covering my face as I looked down to those who were once my teammates and team captain. Instead, I closed my eyes and allowed my senses to take control of the situation around as I asked for their forgiveness, to keep supporting me, there was so much guilt and many words I wished to deliver but it was little too late. I took deep breaths, deciding that when it came to Y/N I was not going to commit the same mistakes that cost me my friends and sensei, the ones that eventually costed me my children. I hadn't abandoned my family but I still adhered to the rules imposed on me by the council; if I had personally stood up for her then maybe, she wouldn't have been treated as a liability. "I'd make things right, you guys... just watch me" dipping my head as a final goodbye for the day, I headed towards home as the atmosphere grew dark and a few temple monks entered the cemetery, carrying torches to light up all the lamps. Unlike other people, these monks minder their business and did not stop to ask me of my days. They were busy praying for the departed and performed their duties.