yandere

yan. levi x reader

a/n: i feel quiet embarrassed about the fact that i barely wrote a thing about any attack on titan character so far, like how dare I???? anyways, enjoy this lil piece

you remember it all.

you remember it all so well that it still keeps you awake at night sometimes while making you wake up shaking and crying once you somehow manage to fall asleep.

you remember it so well that you can sometimes still taste the dirt, death and blood on you tongue.

sometimes it feels as real and recent like yesterday.

you didn't have much of a choice after it happened, after the wall fell.

there was barely any food for the survivors and no work to earn money to buy more food or a decent roof over ones head.

you had to live, at least for the time being, so you joined the survey corps,

the training was hard but you had a place to sleep, a roof over your head and three warm meals a day.

that was much more than what you had ever since the wall fell and most people of your village were wiped out.

vanishing from the face of the earth as if they never even existed to begin with and here probably wasn't enough paper and ink to write down the names of those who have fallen that day and the week after that.

even those who found refugee behind wall rose weren't save rom death.

hunger, thirst, heat and disease took more peoples lives than you'd like to think about.

you still find yourself reciting the names of your family and friends long after you should've gone to sleep in one of those torturing nights in fear you would forget them.

you wanted to check if you still remember them because their names are the only things you have of them and ever will have.

"(y/n)" you hear your name and hold your breath, you didn't notice that you whispered the names of fallen ones out loud.

a sigh, the creaking of a door before it falls shut.

there are no steps, no creaking floor boards, not breathing and nothing to indicate that the person entered your room and yet you know he's here, that he stayed.

he always does.

you stay unmoving and the person begins to speak.

"you should really go to sleep" they say and the floor starts to creak as they step closer to your bed.

"I know.." you say quietly and sit up just as the person takes a seat on the stool of your desk next to your bed.

"I just..can't" you add quietly, looking down on your lap in embarrassment.

you hate to admit to not be able to do something, to admit you are weak in a way.

another sigh, this time heavier.

"why hol onto all of that? why let it plague you?" he asks and you shrug.

"..well, where and how can I put it down?" you ask in return and turn your head to face him.

he didn't bring a candle or oil lamp, he never does.

he says they make too much of a mess.

the only thing illuminating your room and probably the entire outpost is the moonlight thats squeezing past the windows.

Levi has visited you a few times at night ever since you joined the training corpse, ever since you got your own room.

your ever night reoccurring nightmares and your body's physical reaction to it made it impossible for the other recruits to sleep so in order to solve that problem you were given your own room on the training camp and at every outpost with enough rooms and space.