Bucket list

Chapter 19 Bucket List

I began jotting some ideas down in my notebook before adding them to the official paper. So did Lorenzo, and when we were done with the first few we swapped papers.

Lorenzo's paper

Go bungee jumping.

Creating a business.

Fall asleep at the beach.

Make a difference in someone's life

I took the list and began thinking about those options, and they weren't bad ones. I was expecting different things, but these were good things we could do before I get fully paralyzed. If those were some of the things he wanted to do with me before my end, then we were going to do them.

He read my paper and his eyes widened, with shock.

Isabella's paper:

Start a business named after us.

Go cliff diving at night.

Watch the stars in a big field.

Slow dance in the rain.

Perform a heartfelt act of kindness.

Open a charity.

Go on a camping trip.

Write a last wish and burry it under ground.

"What the fuck Bella? Last wishes? You won't die." He banged his clenched fist against the table again as he stared at me, the look of hatred in his eyes being so prominent. "Why are you mad at me?" I asked softly.

"I am not mad at you, I am mad at this fucking disease that can take your life, and I hate feeling helpless about it. I need to find a doctor, there must be somewhere in the world that can-"

"Stop, stop, STOP, STOP, STOP, THERE ISN'T!!! There is no doctor, there is no medicine that can fix this Lorenzo, it is over... accept it!" I raised my voice then lowered it trying to control the stew of emotions building up.

He stared at me in shock, but he remained quiet. He began folding the paper I gave him and stood up to leave. His face, unreadable and cold. I didn't stop him from leaving like I normally would have this time. I let him go.

I did not know what to do anymore, I was wondering if my outburst was affecting him.

Why do I always do this? Why do I always hurt people that I love? If I could I would try to make the cure to my disease, but there is nothing I can do.

I began taking the our plates to the kitchen and cleaning the table. I needed to fix things, for him I needed to try, even if I had given up on myself, he hadn't... it must already have been hard for him to hear that I am going to die. The least I could do is try... for him.

Once I was done cleaning everything up I decided to leave him alone for a while, I needed some time to be away and clearly so did he. I packed a small suitcase and went all the way back to my town where uncle was.

After hours of stress and tiring myself I was finally standing at the doorstep of his enormous mansion where all the memories of my childhood lived.

Everything looked exactly the same as when I had left it. From the glass window above the door, to the small mushroom statue next to the creaky wooden steps leading to the doorway.

I stood in front of the door hesitating if should knock or not, I held my balled up fist right above my eye level about a centimeter away from the door. It was trembling and I noticed how nervous I was.