falling petals | warrior cats story

forty eight.

forty eight.
lilystem.

"Lilystem, how are you feeling?" Antstar was the first to speak, his calm aura easing my nerves slightly. I couldn't help but feel anxious around him considering the events from last night, as well as all the information I had learned prior.

I took a breath, glancing to Mouseberry for reassurance. She shined me a slight grin, thus allowing me to sigh in comfort. "I'm okay," I breathed, looking to the ground before meeting the leader's eyes. Was I okay? I didn't know. It felt as if it was all a horrible nightmare.

Antstar took a moment to reel in the information, before advancing further into the medicine den to sit across from me. His golden eyes skewed towards the medicine cat, "Mouseberry, would you mind if we had some time alone?" He pondered respectfully.

The shy cat merely nodded, her content expression still present upon her face. Mouseberry gave me a reassuring glance before she exited the den.

The black tom redirected his attention to the ground, one of the few times I've seen him avoid a gaze, "So, how are you really feeling?" He questioned again.

I took a deep sigh, trying to find peace within his presence. I was safe with him, I reminded myself. "I... don't know. To be honest, I think I'm still processing everything. I just really wanted to talk with you." I admitted truthfully.

He nodded. "I know, I spoke to Scorchfur." Antstar's gaze met mine.

"What did he tell you?"

"Not much. He spoke of Cherrystorm, and her attack against you and the other members of the clan. Told me some of the wild things she was saying, it was hard to believe," He explained briefly. "I went this morning to check out the scene."

My heart skipped a beat. "So, is she...gone?" I spoke quietly, my ears flattening. Part of me still believed it all wasn't real. Hoped for it.

Antstar held a stoic expression. "Yes, Cherrystorm is dead. It seemed she died from injuries falling off of the cliff. Scorchfur told me what happened to her." He seemed disappointed, not in me, but within Cherrystorm's potential. "I believe I have you to thank." The tom nodded.

My tail wrapped around my legs. "I shouldn't be thanked for killing my clanmate. I never wanted it to end this way." I stated dominantly. It's the truth, killing Cherrystorm was something I never wanted to do, even after finding out the truth. I never wanted to kill anybody.

"I know," He glanced askew, "I meant, thank you for saving Driftingsky and protecting your other clanmates. It seems that Cherrystorm intended to kill him as well, and for that I am grateful. You sacrificed a lot. And I will not look past that," Antstar said, standing to his paws.

"I-I," I stuttered, not expecting this at all.

He placed his paw onto mine, "You did the right thing." The way his featured softened gave me room to want to believe him. My leader, telling me I had done right, but the feeling I am sat with just feels so wrong.

"Thanks for telling me that," I shrugged with a sigh. I could tell he wasn't fully satisfied with my response, but wouldn't press any further.

Antstar sat back down a foxlength away from me, and for a moment we were quiet. However, the anticipation was killing me.

"I know about you and Petalheart." I blurted, my eyes widening at my own sentence.

His dark ears suddenly shot up, as if surprised by my knowledge. "You do?" He inquired.

"Yeah. My mom told me." I stated bluntly. I licked my lips in nervousness, not realizing I was going to feel this anxious. "I'm so sorry."

Suddenly, it was as if his leader facade had disappeared. His shoulders slumped, his proud posture had fallen and his eyes fell to the floor of the den. It was the most vulnerable I had ever seen him. "Thank you, but Lilystem, I am sorry for not telling you. About any of it. We knew we should have.."

"Why didn't you?" I had to ask.

"We just felt like we could be ourselves. Without judgement," Antstar shrugged, "Perhaps it sounds foolish." His ears flattened. "By the time we were ready to be transparent with the clan it was... too late."

I felt horrible for him. Of course Petalheart was my sister, but they were basically mates. I cannot imagine their bond and how her death impacted him behind closed doors.

I dropped my head in sadness, "So, you know about the litter then?" 

Antstar nodded. "I-I knew she was pregnant, I couldn't have imagined Cherrystorm to commit such a crime against her." I'd never heard him sound so broken, the cracks in his voice were truly heartbreaking and showed me that he cared.

Before I could say anything more, he kept on. "Lilystem, I want you to know. I loved Petalheart. I loved her for who she was, beyond her 'perfect' image," his yellow eyes told me he was passionate, as they held the slightest amount of tears within them. "I was so excited to have kits with her. She was one of my greatest blessings in this life."

His words were beautiful, and I knew he was telling the truth. I never had a doubt in my mind before that his feelings for Petalheart were true. Antstar was an honest and reliable cat.

I had the urge to stand up, favoring my other legs as the herbs fell off again on my injured one. I couldn't help but smile. "Petalheart had her litter the night she died. My mother left Emberkit for the clan to find." I lifted a paw in reassurance and placed it on his shoulder. I watched as the tears from his eyes spilled, and held him as he cried.