The Way I Loved You

Chapter 43

--- Alex's POV ---

I woke up feeling completely unrefreshed. I felt like I hadn't even slept, I'd spent the whole night trying to ignore my feelings of regret.

 I'd cheated on Addy again with Jade the day before, even though I promised myself I'd never do it again I couldn't stop thinking about it. I hadn't gone out with set intentions on having sex with her, it just kind of happened. I was walking the corridor alone when Jade appeared out of the girls bathroom. She started apologising to me about what happened at her house and then suddenly she was kissing me, and I was kissing her back. She ended up dragging me into the girl’s bathrooms into one of the stalls where we had sex against the wall. The whole thing affirmed my opinions of her; a slutty whore, she'd probably have sex in a graveyard if it was offered to her. I knew as I was doing it that it was wrong but I couldn't stop. Afterwards I told her that it couldn't happen again and that nobody could find out, surprisingly she didn't throw a bitch fit. And that was the part that worried me the most.

'Dude you've been staring at that wall for a good five minutes now' Jack waved his hand in front of my eyes 

'Sorry I didn't sleep well last night' I blinked quickly to clear my vision

'What's up?' he asked

'Nothing' I shook my head

'Alex we're in music it's the one class that you actually enjoy and you haven’t even picked up a guitar' he raised an eyebrow 'There is something wrong'

'Jack you're going to hate me' I put my head in my hands

'I'm your best friend I'll always hate you' he laughed

'This is serious' I sighed

'Please tell me' he begged

'I had sex with Jade' I spoke barely above a whisper but he heard me 'Twice'

I watched as Jack swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down. He was silent for a few seconds and then his expression darkened.

'Are you being serious?' he whisper shouted so the rest of the class wouldn't hear

'Yes' I nodded

'You fucking idiot Alex' he ran his hands through his hair

'It won't happen again I swear' I replied

'But why?' he narrowed his eyes at me

'The first time was at her house when we were working on the project' I explained 'The second time was yesterday in the girl's bathroom'

'And you couldn't have just walked away?' he asked

'I wasn't thinking straight' I said 'And I told her it was a mistake'

'I'm assuming you haven't told Addy' Jack folded his arms

'No I thought it would be okay but now I just feel so guilty' I put my head in my hands

'Well you should feel guilty' he shrugged

'Thanks' I scoffed

'She's one of my best friends Alex I'm not exactly happy about this' he spat

'Are you going to tell her then?' his eyes bore into me

'No she can never find out about this Jack' I shook my head

'You can't complain about not being able to trust her when you're keeping something like this from her it's ridiculous' he ranted

'I just can't okay' I sighed