BULLY - Newjeans x Reader

CRY

Narrator

While the girls had been spending hours looking for Y/n....

Y/n was out in their secret hiding spot...

Trying to face their biggest demon....

Themselves.

- Y/N POV -

"All these years, just burying you in my memory....," I drunkenly scoffed to myself.

I hated drinking at this point.

I hated knowing that every bad thing I had ever thought of myself had once come true...

Because of that, I constantly tried to make myself better for everyone around me. Even when they didn't see the mercy I was giving them by keeping them away from me....

I was still doing my best.

"Why won't you just prove yourself? Prove that you're the one person that I could never be," My consciousness told me.

More often times than not, I was at war with myself.

I had no idea who I was or who I wanted to be anymore.

All I knew is that I was a bad person who didn't want to be a bad person ever again...

But I didn't know how to do that.

"I kept pretending you don't exist, keeping you a secret.... even from myself.....," I kept on arguing with myself.

At times, it felt like I was fighting with a physical alternative version of myself...

And today was one of those days.

"I keep pretending like you weren't a part of me. Like you were someone else...," I lifted my head to face myself from the distant broke mirror in the room.

"But you were the biggest part of me there ever was," I finally managed to get the words out...

The words that I had been too hesitant to ever say. The words that felt like the biggest lie ever.

"You were me on the day that was most impossible to get things right. You did what I never thought I could do.....

Protect the girls from danger.... at all cost...," I painfully sighed out to myself.

There was a moment of silence.

It seemed like my mind had gone quiet for once.

I took a deep breath and was about to let it out..... when I heard my consciousness say.... "But it was still wrong."

The static of the speaker playing was buzzing through my ears and I felt a rage start to boil up inside me.

"Chasing_(Demo)" by NF suddenly started playing and I felt like I started to lose my sanity.

Without being aware, I started to scream out the lyrics of the song.

I was genuinely releasing the emotions I had been holding on for years....

That's until, someone barged into my secret cabin....

Screaming...

"Then stop making us cry!"

- Hanni POV -

I had enough.

When it came to Y/n, I was tired. Just utterly and completely tired.

"What the hell is the matter with you?! You wanna be good, but you treat us like shit. You get upset when we call you out on your bullshit then go right back into doing it. Do you just like being a fucking asshole?! Do you like being called a fucking bully?!" I didn't hold back for once.

It was heartbreaking to see Y/n cry, but I wanted answers.

How can Y/n be crying after everything they've put us through?

"I wear my label like you wear yours," Y/n coldly answered me.

I was taken back by the sudden short response.

"And what reason is that?" I asked in frustration.

"To be accepted!" Y/n yelled.

I shook my head in disbelief.

"Hanni, stop!" Minji ordered as she rushed into the cabin with everyone else.

"Y/n, shut up. She is your friend!" Wonyoung stood in Y/n's corner.

"That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard come out of your fucking mouth!" I retaliated.

At this point, I wasn't sure why I was even fighting with Y/n.

Y/n was just being honest with me.... and all I was dead set on... was justice.

I had been waiting for justice for years.

Justice for myself and my friend...

And deep down inside...

I wanted justice for Y/n too.

I wanted a way to legally justify Y/n's actions in the eyes of the law... but I knew it would be hard...

Considering that Mr. Lee had rathered made us all keep Geon's actually cause of death a secret, than to make Y/n lawyer up and fight their case...

It told me all I need to know about how the justice system actually works.

"That's how you girls see me, no?!" Y/n seemed angry at all of us at this time.

"Do you know how much it fucking hurts to have you look at me with those terrified eyes?! How much it fucking sucks to have the people you love the most be so damn scared of you, but they won't admit it?!" Y/n started yelling at the top of their lungs.

"Y/n, no one is scared of you....," Minji softly responded... trying get Y/n to calm down...

"Oh, don't give me that bullshit! Isn't that why you were so damn scared of me that night?! Isn't that why your dad was so quick to call the police?! I AM NOT A FUCKING IDIOT. I CAN SEE HOW SCARED YOU ALL ARE!!" We could feel Y/n's whole heart just spilling out as if they'd been holding on to every word for years.

"Even now...," Y/n whispered.

The whole mood in the room suddenly shifted.

It got extremely quiet. 

"Just forget about it," Y/n sighed out.

"I don't want to be friends with any of you anymore," Y/n mumbled as they walked passed us and out the cabin.

Haerin quickly ran after Y/n as they rest of us stayed put.

"Way to go," Minji hissed through her teeth.

"Way to fucking go!" She angrily repeated before walking out of the cabin to go find Y/n.

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Author's Note: Is Hanni right or wrong here? ._.