i kissed a boy || haobin

ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ ɪ

Hanbin's first person pov

"One minute left" Matthew says and I look at him nervously, we both decided that we would only see the result after the 15 minutes had passed.  "And don't forget, two lines means you're pregnant and one line means you're not, regardless of the result you know I'll always support you" he says and I smile to him.

After I lost my virginity, I started to feel nauseous and even vomited, so Matthew made me take a pregnancy test and he shouted when he found out that I hadn't used a condom.

I told him that we were in the heat of the moment and that neither of us had remembered to use one, and speaking of the mystery boy, I never saw him again.

"I'm pregnant" I say in shock after seeing the test result in my trembling hands, Matthew hugs me and tells me that he's going to help me raise this child and I start to cry, I've always wanted a child but not like this.

"Now you should tell his father" My best friend says and I look at him and hesitate, he'll kill me if I tell him I've never spoke to the boy again. "We have to start going to formations, we have to go to the hospital..." he continues but I interrupt him

"Matt, I don't know who the father is..." I say, still in shock at the fact that im going to be a dad.

"Hanbin, what do you mean you don't know who the father is, it's obvious it's the boy from my birthday party, calm down... wait,  YOU DON'T KNOW THE FATHER?" he says and shouts so loudly that I'm sure the neighbors heard.

"Let's just say yes" I say and he starts yelling that we have to find him and we have to call Jiwoong and I just ignore it, how am I going to take care of the child? how am I going to tell my parents? I can't take the pressure and I start to cry  again, it's too much to take in.

"Bin, don't worry, we'll  find a solution for this, okay?" he smiles at me and I hug him, Matthew is without a doubt the best friend ever, I'm really grateful for everything he's done for me. "Do you even know his name or number or address?"

"No... I mean, I know he's Chinese, because when he left a boy came to call him and said Hao and then said something I don't know what it was because I don't speak Chinese, he then told me that he was going to see me again and gave me a kiss on the forehead and since then I've never seen him again, I've tried to look for him but nothing" 

"That son of a horse, when I find him I'm going to kill him and strangle him" Matthew says as he makes fight gestures. "But at least we have an idea of his possible name, we'd better go through my guest list and see if we can find any Chinese person or someone with the name Hao"

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪

We searched for two hours and found nothing, Matthew didn't invite anyone who was Chinese so it must have been one of the guests because they could call whoever they wanted so basically the party was for everyone who knew about it.

Matthew called a few people to see if they knew anyone called Hao but no one knew him, only Gunwook who said he knew a boy who studied with him at the Arts Music University but he hadn't seen him at the party so it couldn't have been him.

I don't know how, but that boy made me realize that I wasn't straight and he made me feel something  just with a kiss that I'd never felt before, he made me feel so safe, but i know that for him it was just one night but for me, he was more than that.

"Well, he said he'd see me again but he didn't, so I don't think he wants to be found" I say with a slight sadness and put my hand on my stomach. "I don't need a partner to raise my son, he's going to come out of me, so I'm going to raise him and play the role of mother and father" I say confidently, I don't want my son to have a sad life.