Love Always (NG4)

55 - Loss

Sam sat on Nonna's sofa and looked around. His father looked at the picture from when he was a baby again.

Bryan turned around. "I wasn't much older than you are now. We were young, but we loved each other."

He bit his tongue he almost said tell Rory. The problem was he threw Rory away and was dating Willow. He looked at the clock. She would probably stop by after work.

Bryan said, "It surprised me on my first visit to see she kept pictures of me around."

"Dad, what do I do about all of this?" He waved his arm around the room. Soap Operas were over for the day, but the old cathode ray tube TV should have a talk show on.

Nonna was larger than life for years. As she became sicker, she fought it. Even as she began fading away she fought. The doctors couldn't believe she held on. Sam was glad because he wasn't ready to lose her.

Sam sighed. "She was my last piece of Mom."

Bryan shook his head. "Sammy, your mom is in you, and when you have children, she'll be in them."

He frowned. With Nonna alive he could avoid his future.

Bryan moved away from the photos. "She had a will and everything will go to you. I know it feels overwhelming, but I can help guide you, but I can't stay."

Sam nodded. His father had been with him for four days. He would have to go home to work.

"Dee will help. I would focus on collecting things of value, the rest can go. No one wants that old sofa."

Sam pointed. "Or the TV."

"That can't be thrown away." It had to be disposed of safely.

"She's everywhere. We spent time cooking before she got weak. I learned how to make all my favorites."

Bryan had a thin smile. "Mike will be jealous. Al, can help tomorrow. I have to go pick her and K up. They'll want to see you."

Sam nodded. "We have plenty of food."

Neighbors had been dropping off food since word got out. As soon as his father left, Sam went into the kitchen. Her apron was on the door. Was he weird to want to keep it?

He opened drawers haphazardly. One was stuck, and he pulled hard. Inside were rubber bands, paperclips, old pens, stamps. In the back were papers. He pulled them out. He recognized his fathers handwriting.

He read. 'Sam has a girlfriend. They enjoy the beach and are very sweet together. His grades were great. He gets that from Linda...'

He hadn't known his father wrote to Nonna. It looked like two or three times a year. Some envelopes were thicker. He took out a picture of him and Rory. It had to be their first summer. They looked so young holding hands. He went to shove the letters back in but a thicker envelope stopped him. He pulled it out. Inside was money, tens and twenties.

He went into Nonna's room. She had drawers of clothing. He had had to do things for her no kid should have to do. There was no dignity in dying, but he tried to capture it with his lens.

He opened her nightstand drawer. He found rosery beads and old packages of tissues and an ancient tube of Ben Gay. Amid more papers, he found another envelope of cash.

He went to her desk in the living room. He knew she had a bank, because he had brought the statements in from the mailbox and written checks for her bills. Dee had helped him get the proper paperwork so he could sign checks. It meant he had access to her money. He'd rather have Nonna than her money, but he had already spent a lot for the funeral. He had been too little to understand the decisions his father had made. How could he choose a coffin for his wife?