Farewell, My Brightest Star || SAFFS Book 2 || FreenBecky [Completed]

Chapter 15: Moving On

It's my fault and I shouldn't be hurting right now.

That's what I thought as I packed all my belongings from Becky's house. Since she was not here anymore, there was no reason to stay either. I tried to contemplate all my actions and I couldn't help but blame my immatureness.

How could I do that to her? How could I push her to the edge to the point she couldn't do anything but run away? How could I be that person I loathed the most?

My knees weakened, causing me to fall on the floor once again. I couldn't take it. It felt like there was a missing part of me.

"Sorry..." I wept like a baby.

I tried to grasp the nearest table beside me but I couldn't carry myself. I couldn't stand. I kept on stumbling and my strength left my body.

Multiple rings coming from my phone diverted all my attention. It was my mother calling. I forgot that I have to go home today and she must be waiting.

I looked at my reflection in the vanity mirror before answering the call. Although my voice was cracked I managed to hide it. I could fool everyone by smiling before why this time it was difficult?

"Yes, Mom?" I asked hiding the pain I'm feeling right now.

"I woke up without you again. I thought you were going home. Are you okay?"

I almost sob at her question.

Am I okay? When did I become okay after doing all the things you want me to do?

I wanted to voice it out but I didn't dare to do so. She's my mother, my family, and the only person I can hold on to.

Since my father passed us away, I never disobey her. Even though I want to have a peaceful life, and live with the person I treasure the most. I consider her wishes as my wishes too. Her likes as my likes. It feels like I am her.

She wants a grandchild, and I tell myself that I want to even though I am contented.

Lies. Another lie.

Ever since I became an actress, I didn't know what I like. People around me decide everything. They wanted me to dress like this, act like that. I didn't know what's my favorite food or color. I didn't know who I am.

And the only person who accepts me as I am turns her back on me because she had enough. Maybe she's right, I am a great partner but not to her. It's because I can do anything to her, and I am complacent that she won't leave. I took her for granted.

"Freen, come back home. I need to talk to you," Mom said.

"Yes. I'm coming." I turned off my phone and wept one more time.

Can I leave this place now? Can I move on with my life? Is this what I want?

It's late. It's too late now.

As I drove to my parent's house, I couldn't help but think about my future if they didn't intervene. Or if I didn't let them dictate my life.

I have a choice. I can be whoever I want to be. I can be with someone who I want to be with. However, why am I suffering because of them? Why am I the only one who's enduring the pain?

"Fuck!" I shouted as I hit the steering wheel multiple times in frustration.

Nothing went well since they became part of me. When I was a kid, they didn't even talk to me and all they care was about money. Why couldn't they do the same now? And why couldn't I disobey them?

"Why? Why am I so afraid of losing you to the point that I forgot that I also have a life?" I cried inside my car.

After minutes of breaking down, I finally decided to step on the gas and continued my journey to my parent's house. I never considered it as a home, because I believe that a home is a person, and that is Becky.

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As my bare feet touched the coldness of the floor, my body started to shiver.

When did the last time I entered this place? Was this like this before? Were there things that changed here while I was away?

"Freen," my mother called my name, causing me to plaster a tight smile. "Your eyes are swollen. What happened?"

"Nothing. I'm fine," I answered. "If you'll excuse me, I need to fix my things. I have to move from another house."

"Don't you want to stay here with me?" she asked.

I don't want to be rude so I fake a smile.

"I have my own place, Mom. I'm old enough. Stop treating me like a baby." I tried to avoid her gaze, but she cupped my face and looked at me intently.

"Anyway, what happened to your baby? Have you hired someone?"

My blood rushes throughout my baby the moment I heard her question. I knew it was her only reason why she wanted to talk to me in person.

"You won't have a grandchild, mom. I'm sorry, but I can't give you one." I walked past her and ignored the next sentences she spoke.

I didn't want to hear anything from her about this matter. I wanted to be alone and suffered alone than be rude to her.

I went inside my old room where I stayed while I was away and hiding from Becky before. This was the room where I stored every picture of her while I was acting as her stalker.

Our pictures were glued on my closet door when we were still young and barely knew each other. I guess all of these were only memories now.

I saw our picture together on the beach while she was wearing an oversized shirt because I asked her to change.  The picture of her with three hickeys I gave her and she got furious when she saw them.

Those memories are still fresh and seem like they only happen yesterday.

I want to keep them still, but I have to move on. Maybe we're not meant to be together. She's too good for me. She deserves better.

I looked at one of Becky's pictures in my hand and smiled.

"Thank you, Becky. I hope you'll find the genuine happiness you deserve. Far from me, far from the pain I gave you. Thank you for staying for a while, and making my life worthwhile."

a/n: "We did it, baby." - Becky Armstrong. Congrats to FreenBeck HAHA and sorry for the slow update. I'm so busy these past few days. I hope you understand. I love you all! ❤️