The Alpha's Mate

Chapter 52

Alpha Devin's POV

I felt terrible. What the hell did I do? I lost control, and I am paying the price for letting Gunner out. I never realized on how angry I was, I thought I could keep Gunner at bay but the worry and fear inside me made Gunner come out full force. I stood there at the doorway watching Lillian walk away from me. Looking down at the torn fabric at my feet, I realized it was the dress that I bought her when we first fell in love and marked each other. She kept it all this time. I gulped, seeing it torn to shreds. Fuck! I looked at her retreating frame knowing I really screwed up now.

I couldn't even remember what came over me on the training grounds. My mind was a complete blank. I would never harm my own pack but somehow Gunner took full control and snapped. The only thing I remember was the force of her aura washing over Gunner forcing the veil down between us and letting me take control back. The thought of her aura being that strong confused me.

Paula walked over shaking her head. "She will get over it Alpha. Just give her time." she whispered as she placed her hand on my shoulder. The woman was like the mother I never had. I looked at her, then looked at the stairs. "I don't know Paula. I really screwed up this time. I just don't know what came over me." I muttered out, truly feeling guilty for what I had done. "That you did Alpha. But there is one thing I know, our Luna wanted to bring normalcy back to the pack. To bring the spark back to the bond that you gave to her when you first met. That was the reason she wore that dress. She wanted to feel free again." she said as she looked into my eyes.

I never thought that she felt unloved. The pack adored her, they listened to her more than they did me and I was their Alpha. I sighed, knowing I screwed up. I was lost in thought until I felt a hand on my shoulder. "I'll go talk to her." Paul uttered as he walked into the kitchen. I grabbed his arm stopping him, "You know your sister better than anybody. Did she ever say anything to you about what is going on with her?" Paul blinked, staring at me deep in thought. He sighed as he came back out onto the patio and sat down. "Alpha, you have to understand the way she grew up." I didn't understand for she was always loved by her parents. Paul and her were raised with love and support so it baffled me on why he would start it that way. "As you know Lillian is beautiful. That beauty made her life harder. You might not want to hear this but she did date before she met you. Those men, were scared of her beauty, locked her away unable to bear someone else looking at her. They believed a woman should be seen and not heard." Paul took a deep breath.

"Lil is not only beautiful but she is incredibly smart. The diner that she worked at when you met was going bankrupt, she put it back in the black. She also helped our old Alpha with his finances because he was about to loose everything. People didn't love her for her, but just what she could give them." Paul continued. I just couldn't imagine that people would take advantage of her so easily. "When she met you, her eyes shined bright. She believed that you were different, that you would actually listen to her. She believed that once she found her mate that they would feel the things that she felt, understand how much love she really had to give. Unfortunately, you were to consumed with your anger for what has happened that you couldn't pickup on her feelings that she wanted things to go back to normal again. To be loved and free again." Paul stated as he placed his hand on my shoulder. I turned my head looking up at the stairs, feeling for her through the bond. "There is a price to Lillian thought that she is unable to control. She loves deeply, but when she is truly hurting she shows it with a vengeance. Nobody knows why her aura has been so much stronger that what a normal she-wolf should be capable of but she has even brought dad down on his knees once. Now your blood runs through her veins, she intensified your own aura against you. When she does things like that, she is on the verge of exploding and you don't want to be around her when she snaps."

Paul stands up and goes inside. I sat there pondering over his words, I did think it was strange on how she brought me to my knees and made Gunner submit. I got up and headed towards our bedroom. I stopped right outside the door, debating on what to say to her. I did love her, I might not have shown it lately, but that didn't mean I was like all the others. Reaching for the handle, the door opens. Lillian stood right there in the door way, her lips pursed together. I knew from the look of her that she was holding back.

"Lilly, I am truly sorry. I lost control. It will never happen again." I blurted out, reaching for her hand. Lilly sighed loudly, while opening the door wider. I stepped inside the room, pulling her close to me. Wrapping my arms around her waist, I took in her scent, calming my nerves. "I truly am sorry." I mumbled in the crook of her neck, kissing her neck softly.

"I know." she whispered as she pulled away. My grip tightened not wanting to let her go. I looked into her eyes, they were glassy from crying. I felt even more terrible that I made her cry. "Are you going to get dressed or just stand there in a towel?" she stated. I didn't even realize I was walking around in just a towel, to consumed within my mind and what I put her through. I smiled, "Want to join me in the shower?"