Your Addiction, Simon Ghost Riley x Reader

Confessions

We both left my room but after a long journey Simon chose to get some rest instead of socialising with the team. I promised Simon I would come visit him after dinner even though I knew I would probably disturb his beauty sleep.

And yes, I was hungry but I would have rather starved myself to death than walk into the kitchen and meet Isabella there.

I still had some hope she would be wandering around the base looking for some guys to flirt with. But as I entered the living room I saw her lying on the sofa with her shoes on eating some food while talking to Soap.

I rolled my eyes and headed to the kitchen to grab some dinner. I didn't even try to be unnoticed since no one else was there except us three.

As soon as Soap noticed me he rushed to give me a welcoming hug.

"Long time no see, soldier" He greeted me and the smile on his face once again reminded me how good it felt to have a friend like him.

"How are you doing?" He asked not even letting me say hi to him.

"Better" Was all I said but the smirk Isabella gave me made it seem like she was up to something.

"Did you miss me?" Soap inquired as he placed both hands on my shoulders.

"Without you life was easy like never before" I replied jokingly.

"I suppose it is a yes then" Soap said, and I almost forgot how strong his accent was.

I would have stayed with him, but I knew Isabella being in the same room could be dangerous. I feared that her listening to our chats could have bad consequences. So I took my plate and headed towards the door and I did not expect Soap to ask if he could join me.

Since it was not that cold outside, we decided to spend some time surrounded by darkness and silence. We found a comfortable spot right below the windows of my room, which was on the second floor of the building, and decided it was the best place to reconnect with each other after being separated for so long. 

Slowly, the moonlight made its way to us and I felt my body begin to let go of all its worries. We felt the peacefulness of the night and a calming presence that enveloped us. It was a perfect way to take a break from our hectic lives and enjoy a moment of relaxation.

"Crazy how quiet it can get here" He commented as I continued eating my dinner.

We then kept sitting in silence, staring up at the stars, marveling at the beauty of the night sky and the quietness of the moment.

He then turned his head to face me only to find me already gazing at him. And no matter how much he tried to control himself, he started talking.

"I was with Isabella and she told me some things she shouldn't have"

I then shifted my eyes from him to the moon and recalled every word I had said to Isabella. We spent a few minutes in silence as I tried to process my thoughts. Whether or not I should reveal the truth to Soap was a question I pondered.

"What exactly did she tell you?" I took a deep breath of the night air and felt it fill my lungs. Secretly I hoped for this conversation to end as soon as possible.

"Nothing specific. She mentioned it was a struggle for you to keep your temper at times and that you started ignoring her for no reason" His voice trembled with emotion.

"What the fuck?" I thought to myself. I didn't expect her to lie, though in a way she was right. I was avoiding her but there was a reason and what the fuck did she mean by saying 'at times'?

"What else did she say?" I wanted to know everything that was going on behind my back.

"That you lost someone recently" It was obvious he regretted saying that but I didn't blame him for that. I wasn't sure if I wanted to tell him about my lost baby, but that feeling had weighed heavily on my heart for too long.

"Yes, yes I did" I felt my voice shake as I made eye contact with him.

"But who was it?" He put his hand on my knee and started rubbing it.

My heart was pounding and I felt my palms get sweaty. I was terrified, but I knew I had to do it.

"Soap...I was pregnant" I immediately closed my eyes, feeling terror and fear overcome my body. My mind was racing and I felt like I was about to pass out. I was scared of what his reaction might be, and I knew that there was no turning back.

Although he was caught off guard by the news, his reaction was pure love. And instead of comforting me with words, he tightly hugged me. In a way, it felt comforting to know that he was there for me, but a huge wave of guilt poisoned my blood. I started regretting not telling Simon first about that, but I was too scared to do that. 

"Please don't tell Simon. I don't want him to experience the same pain as I did" I calmed myself down just enough to ask him for that and I felt him nod. 

"You know, sometimes I think this baby would have ruined everything for Simon. All of this would have changed everything for him and it would have meant having a completely different life. And I know Simon doesn't want to have a different life from this one. The mere thought of revealing the truth to Simon, fills me with fear, as I know it could shatter his entire existence. He doesn't deserve to live with the burden of regret, and I cannot bear to be the one to inflict this pain on him"

"Hey, you know it is not true" He said, his voice was so gentle and comforting. 

"No, Soap. I can't tell him what happened" Tears started to blur my vision as I said that, but I still refused to let them fall.

"I think I will keep the truth locked away" I took a deep breath and continued "Even though it means sacrificing my own happiness and pretending that everything is okay. I just want him to continue to cherish the life we have built together" I told him as I let go of his embrace.

And as I said the last word, Simon, who had been standing behind the open window all this time, began to feel his eyes watering.