How I Found Love in Bangkok

Chapter Thirty-eight

WHAT MAKES A RAINBOW

The voices outside the little cubicle I had stuffed myself into were loud, accompanied by the smell of perfumes, hairspray and nail polish, all jumbled up into one scent.

With barely any air conditioning, I was sweating profusely–but I loved the sweat. It preserved Ja's scent on me as I masturbated on the floor, shivering and pulsing in ecstasy. When his lips touched mine, something erupted in me like a sickness. I was Ja sick, and the only medication I needed was an orgasm while whispering his name on the floor of the tiny changing room.

I tried to not moan—to tame myself. It was an impossible feat. I was desperate for him and in need of more than a kiss or my hand—or his hand. My moans were both a cry for help and evidence of the lust that took over me. I needed to be fucked.

I was not as nice and gentle with my cock as Ja normally was. I was brutal with it. I needed an orgasm, an end to my pitiful desperation. A knock came and I gasped, sprouting from the floor. It came again, then again. I shut my eyes, trying to soften my dick. I was not supposed to be there, I knew that, but my dick did not. It did not care, it refused to go soft.

"Please go away," I muttered. The knock came again and again and again. "Occupied!" I screamed in frustration, rubbing my forehead. "You can clearly see it's occupied! Use the next changing room for heaven's sake!" I was furious.

There were a few seconds of silence before his voice came. "Grinchy," his soft voice called and my eyes widened. "Open the door."

I spun in embarrassment, punching the air. "Umm... still... still... umm... still changing."

"Into what?"

"Just... clothes... umm... someone spilled alcohol all over me and umm..." I began stuffing my hard dick back in, wincing in pain.

"I'm going to open the door now," he announced.

Before I could free my hands from my trousers, the door swung open and I turned around to hide myself with a groan.

"You know these doors don't lock right?" he said, stepping in.

"Do you want something?"

"You called my name," he replied.

I froze, leaving my mouth ajar.

"You... you were listening?"

"Yes."

"For how long?"

He slid his hands across my waist, turning me to face him. I couldn't lift my face to his. I was in pain and rocked with embarrassment. 

"Ja—"

"Kit." He lifted my face to his gaze and our eyes met, sending a warm chill through my body. "You only need to ask, if you need me—for anything—no matter where." He lowered his lips to mine and kissed me.

"Ja..." I tried to speak when he sank his lips deeper into my mouth, caressing my waist and pressing my groin against his.

His lips traveled to my neck and I dug my finger into his hair, moaning into his mouth as pleasure began to overtake my senses. He began to pull down my trousers and I tore away from our kiss, hiding my face on his chest.

"What's wrong?"

"I have missed you," I said.

I knew I had, but I was never going to tell him, he was never supposed to know how deeply his absence cut through me. I recognized my vulnerability in the moment but I didn't fight it. I liked being vulnerable, it's how I had always been, the reason I got hurt often. At least this time, I knew pain was coming.