𝖢𝗁𝖺𝗌𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝖲𝗍𝖺𝗋𝗌 || 𝖣𝖺𝗇𝖼𝖾 𝖬𝗈𝗆𝗌

From Ballerinas To Showgirls

Chloe

Genevieve   Brooke   Nia

Paige   Mackenzie     Vivi-Anne

This week, Maddie had it off. Chloe, Paige, Nia, and Brooke all had solos. Basically, the only ones who didn't have anything were the Zieglers and me. Even though Maddie and I still have the group dance.

I feel bad for Kenz.

The group dance was kinda fun, we all got a section that we would perform by ourselves. Abby decided to make us portray sins, and I don't even know why.

"Brooke, you would be sloth." Abby announces, "So, I'm telling you right now, you have all this amazing talent, and you throw it away, and you give it to me sloppy."

Genevieve: The seven deadly sins are scary. I don't get why Miss Abby wanted us to portray them.

"Paige. You are going to be gluttony." Abby says.

Maddie and I looked at each other.

"Nia, you are going to be greed. You want it all, you want it right now, and you want it your way." Abby explains, "Maddie, you are going to be wrath. What that means is, you get upset, you are ragingly angry."

Melissa, unlike Holly or Kelly, didn't look too upset.

Typical Melissa behavior.

I looked back to Abby as she explained Chloe's.

"Genevieve." I look at her, "You are going to be portraying envy. You want what someone else has. You wish that the other person didn't have it at all so it doesn't feel "unfair" to you."

Genevieve: I know that Miss Abby is referring that I wish that I could win as much as Maddie does, but I am not jealous of her.

We got back into our positions and Maddie smiled sadly at me.

Genevieve: After all, everyone aspires to be Maddie, I aspire to be myself.

After going over the dance twice, a woman entered the room and we all stood up.

"This is Liz Lieberman." Abby introduces the woman, "She is the showgirl, yes? They've designed entire shows just around her."

We ended up taking a whole class with her, but while that happened, I could just think of the sin Abby gave me to portray.

Did I seem jealous of Maddie? Maddie's literally my best friend, how could I ever be jealous of her? Or is this another way for her to set us up? Was I really fit to portray envy? I mean, I wish I could beat her, of course, but everybody wants that. I do always end up being second while she wins first place, but I'm used to it. I'm used to being the second. I am used to being just behind Maddie all the time. I am used to knowing that everyone thinks that I am not as good as Maddie. How could I ever show them that I could beat Maddie? Or was that just a fantasy? Could anyone ever beat Maddie Ziegler?

Competition day came by, and I genuinely just wanted it to be over already, because besides the fact that the week was mostly boring, the only interesting thing that I got out of the week, besides eating ice cream, was Abby basically telling me that I was jealous of my best friend. Not even she believed that I was as good as Maddie. If I'm not as good, then why am I set up with her almost every single week? Or is that just her trying to make me believe that I can get better?

She knows that I am good with contemporary, but she never gives me something like that. She knows I could beat Maddie with it, but she just sets me up with jazz instead.

Was Abby trying to sabotage me?

I managed to not let it show. I didn't let the insecurity show. I didn't let them, anyone, see me upset because of a silly little dance, so I just kept it in. I didn't say anything because I really didn't want to make a big deal out of it. I basically just bottled up the feelings. It didn't feel nice, but it was definitely nicer than having Abby be mad and yell at me.

After performing the group dance, Maddie and I sat backstage as the girls performed their solos.

"You're quiet." Maddie tells me, "More than usual."

"Gosh, are you Riley?" I ask.

"What?" She asks.

"A couple weeks ago, Riley literally told me the same exact thing." I tell her, "Weird."

"Huh." She shrugs, "Anyways, are you okay? You seem a little upset about something."

"No. I'm completely fine, just a little tired because we have been away from home for a while now." I lie.

"Yeah, it feels weird." Maddie agrees, "Also that everyone has solos except for us."

"Yeah. I also miss learning new solos." I say, "I always perform the same dance over and over again."

"Probably soon." Maddie tells me, "I'm pretty sure that Abby's going to give you a solo for nationals."

"Why?" I ask.

"It would make the most sense." She says, "And it could be fun."

I genuinely hoped that that was the case.

Let's just say that the awards were a disaster. Paige's solo was pulled. Nia's and Chloe's did not place and Brooke was third. The group dance was seventh.

I should probably not talk about how mad Abby was back in the dressing room.

Or I should.

She was pretty mad, and we have a class pretty early tomorrow, so I gotta go saying goodbye to my dear beauty sleep.