Stuck in Between / BlindChannel

Extra: Daddy goes

The final week before the wedding was chaotic. Even tho we had Pauline and Miryam helping us, plus the wedding planner because we just did not have time to do a thing thanks to some certain little human who kept us awake most of the nights. Joel had taken some time off with the band too so he was also giving all he got, but there was still so much going on. All the help was needed because without them we'd be having a wedding in our living room, Joel holding the baby and me holding some flowers... Or a baby bottle.

"So..Let's do this one more time" Miryam said and put the music on. Joel and I took our positions and Another Life by Motionless in White started to play. We chose that song for our wedding dance because it had such a deep meaning. It was us. We were broken, and bleeding.. But we never gave up. All the years we shared in the past.. All what we were sharing now.. He was my rock, my ride or die. My everything. And I'd die for him. I have never been good at this kind of dancing and most of the time we just laughed 'cause of the messed up steps. We were so sure we'd end up on the floor, on top of each other, but Miryam had a patience like no other and she managed to teach us to dance without making us look completely ridiculous. But we had fun.

"Fuck I'm so tired... "Joel mumbled once his back hit the bed. I changed my clothes and crawled next to him. Sophia was sleeping and we were having our final night together before tomorrow's bachelor's and bachelorette's parties. Joel was supposed to go out with the guys and Miryam and Pauline had something planned for me. My mom was also here so she was going to take care of Sophia tomorrow.

"Yeah me too..." I yawned and let my fingers run across his bare back.

"You ready to get married to me..?" Joel whispered and caressed my hair. I smiled and scooted closer to him.

"I can't wait, Joel... I want to be eternally yours.." I whispered to him, causing a sweet smile curve on his lips. That was the most sweetest and loving smile, the smile he only wears when he is truly happy. Joel leaned closer and pressed his soft, smiling lips on mine. The moment was of course soon interrupted by a quiet cry from Sophia's room.

"I go" I whispered but Joel already sat up and held me down.

"Daddy goes.." he stood up and walked to the next room. I just smiled. Seeing how great dad he was made made me feel that I made a right decision to stay with him. I sighed and stared at the ceilings. Even tho things with Aleksi were more or less back to normal, it did not change the fact that what we had, happened. The feelings I felt towards him happened and the things we did also happened... But. It made me realize that my heart only truly belonged to Joel. No matter how many partners we had during the time we were not together, he belonged to me and I belonged to him. Always. And it was supposed to be this way. The twisted relationship we had when we were kids, to the twisted relationship we had after we broke up... Created to most precious thing we shared now – our child.

I had passed out before Joel came back to sleep. I got up from the bed and went to check the little one who was still in deep sleep. I smiled and went to take a shower. The warm water run over my body and the smile on my lips had no end. This was the last day before the wedding. Tomorrow I'd finally become Joel's wife and I could not wait. I loved him and our daughter more than anything else and I wanted us to finally be a family and share the same family name.

My mum came to our apartment a little before Miryam was going to pick me up. She was already so familiar with Sophia's routines that I did not need to worry about a thing meanwhile I was gone. I had my things packed and so did Joel. Both of us were supposed to spend the final night before the big day separately in a hotel. And we'd meet tomorrow at the venue we had chosen, G18. The place looked great, it had high ceilings, huge windows, white pillars that caught our eyes and it had a lot of space. For the decoration we had chosen some golden and black fabrics and stuff, mixed with all the white the venue had to offer. We did not want all traditional stuff, we needed our black and gold to the mix, it was more us. And we wanted our day to look like us even tho our parents were not too happy about the dark colours on a such a happy day. Or about the fact that I had black on my wedding dress. It was our day after all, no matter what the others thought about the colours.