Stuck in Between / BlindChannel

Extra: We're sorry

Joel put his guitar away and walked to the mixing table where Aleksi was editing some parts for the song. I could see from far that he would rather be anywhere else than in the same room with me and Joel and he had a good reason for it. It's not easy to work with the people who hurt you the way we hurt him. I hated the situation. This has been going on for weeks now and it needed to stop. I played with the ring in my finger which I got from Joel just a few days ago and sighed, that caused Joel to look at my direction.

"All good there?" he asked and moved some of his hair behind his ear. I shook my head and pointed Aleksi. This shit show had lasted too long already and I was on my limits. I wanted to get some clearance to it and so did Joel. He then stood up and placed his hand on the younger one's shoulder which caused him to look the older one.

"What?" he asked and turned his head back to the screen.

"We need to talk.. All three of us.." Joel said not moving his hand away.

"What do we have to talk...?" Aleksi scoffed and that made me bite my lip.

"A lot" I said and stood up from the sofa.

"Yeah I don't think so" he mumbled between his lips and continued with what ever he was doing. I tied my hair up and looked at Joel who was looking pretty much as clueless as me. But I wanted to solve this thing here and now. My heart was aching and there was no way I'd leave this situation like this.

"Aleksi, I know you hate to talk with us.. Or with me the most but.. Please.." I pleaded. Joel took his hand off from Aleksi's shoulder and turned off the screen he was so intensively staring at in order to ignore us. The black haired one then crossed his arms on his chest and turned around with the chair.

"Look, buddy.. " Joel started and leaned against the mixing table. He scratched his head and I could see that his hands were getting restless, he had no idea what to do with them. He wasn't enjoying the situation too much either but we both knew that we needed to clear the air between us.

"I know this situation sucks, for you and for us.. But we can't go on endlessly like this" he continued and looked at me and then Aleksi.

"He is right, Aleksi.. I am sorry about how things went with us.. You know I care about you and everything between us was real.." I said and it hurt so freaking bad to say that, to him now and while Joel was listening.

"You know what hurts the most in this situation?" Aleksi finally started to speak.

"The fact that you two just fucking hid the whole history of you from me while all the others knew and I was just making myself looking like some dumb kid. I thought that there was no secrets between us" he said and lifted his piercing blue eyes on me.

"It's not like that... "
"Yea right, fuck all the others knew that you two were still fucking behind everyone's back and who knows how many times behind mine" Aleksi scoffed and shook his head. I swallowed and looked on my shoes in embarrassment.

"Listen, Aleksi... I... The whole situation is my fault. So if you want to be angry at someone then leave her out of this and pour your anger onme. I told her to move on. I encouraged her to get together with you because I knew you are a great guy and would treat her as she deserves to be treated... But when I realized that you two were actually having a thing, I couldn't stop thinking about her. She was my first love after all.. It's not easy to forget that. Nor the fact that we were almost having a family years ago.. " Joel's voice broke and he took a moment before he continued.

"Guess the time apart made me realize that I can't be without her. She has been there literally my whole life and the idea of losing her... It sacred me. The day when she told you about us and when we all went out to search her.. " Joel spoke but Aleksi cut him.