Stuck in Between / BlindChannel

13. Do you want me to say it again?

Simple statement. Too simple. Joonas and Niko emptied their glasses and soon after that Joonas run to the bathroom, What a waste of quality vodka tho. However the game ended here. Niko looked us and he could definitely see the tense staring contest between me and Joel who still had the smug smile on his face.

"I'm just gonna go before you guys start fucking the hell out of each others" he said and sounded so freaking drunk that in anyother situation I would laugh at him but not now. He then quietly stood up and placed his index finger on his lips.

"Oh and, if you do then please be shh... I know how loud you guys can be so... Just shh.. No need to wake us up" he winked and made his way upstairs where Aleksi had another guest room.

"So, you have never been in love?" Joel asked breaking the silence between us. I still stared his sculpture like face that kept on eyeing me like I owned him something. Ok yeah, I did, an answer for his question which he obviously already knew. I had been in love with him. Madly in love with him. But it ended. And yes, I was in love with Aleksi, just as madly I was in love with Joel back then.

"Why are you doing this?" I asked and took the shot hoping it would shut him up. After that I stood up and walked to kitchen to put the glass away and to have some more mineral water. Just as I was putting the bottle back to the fridge, I heard steps behind me. I turned around and saw Joel taking a seat on the chair.

"How does it feel?" he asked.

"What?" I wasn't sure what he meant because it could mean pretty much anything by now.

"To be with him? Is he better than me?" Joel then asked again sounding even a little bit sad. He lifted his head at me and the view was killing me. I knew we were drunk as hell but we all know the fact that drinking makes heart sober. I opened my mouth to say something but I was interrupted by Joonas, who walked or rather stumbled to the kitchen.

"Damn I feel sick.." he mumbled and walked to the fridge. He took out the orange juice and was about to lean to the counter top but he started to lean back a bit too early and had a mini heart attack before he reached the surface behind him.

"You having an after party or what? Can I join? Or what is this chit-chat about?" Joonas asked pointing me and Joel.

"Go to sleep Porko, you look like shit" I said and pointed him to upstairs.

"I'm gonna take this with me.. And you don't look too good either by the way.. Oh and, don't fuck too loudly this time please, I don't have the energy to be awake right now" Joonas smirked and somehow made it to the upstairs in one piece. Why the fuck were they remaining us from that now? I looked back at Joel and saw him still looking at me. I sighed. The past week had been a hell for us and I could still replay the morning in my head when he kissed me on fore head and encouraged me to move on with Aleksi.

"You want to know how it feels to be with him? Why?" I asked and sat opposite to him.

"Does it feel as good as it was with me?"

"What? Come on Joel.. You know that is a question I cannot answer. You two are totally different kind of people.." I said and crossed my hands on my chest.

"Are we?"
"We are all different.. Can you just tell me that what is going on? You know you are giving me hard time with this and this little game you play ain't making it any easier for neither of us so instead of keep this shit going just fucking say what the fuck is going on in your head" I said and I don't know what I was hoping to get out of him. Even tho he was his most honest when he was drunk I just couldn't really handle this anymore.

"I think I already made it clear enough for you, didn't I? Or do you want me to say it again?" Joel hissed and leaned closer to me over the table, supporting himself with his hands.