Stuck in Between / BlindChannel

15. It is freaking destroyed!

A/N: This one is kinda long chapter (4817 words, sorry about it :D) but it includes the first insight to Ro's and Joel's backstroy. The back story is written in italic. Hope you enjoy!

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I didn't know what to say. Some part of me wanted to slam the door in his handsome face and tell him to fuck off, but I also felt like I needed to hear at least why he was here before slamming him with the door.

"I've been a total shithead or what ever you wanna call me and I don't blame you if you wanna slam that door on my face... But.. I...Just wanna talk.." Joel broke the silence between us.

"So... Can I come in?.. Please..?" he asked. I blinked my eyes for a few times and then realized how stupid I must have been looking so I stepped aside and let him in even tho I honestly would have preferred Aleksi showing up. Joel took off his jacket and shoes and walked to the kitchen, I went back to the sofa. He put the ice cream into the freezer and took out some plates and placed them on the table.He knew very well where I kept stuff, he used to live here with me after all. I followed his doings from the sofa still not knowing what to say. Joel lifted the sushi from the box to the plate and brought it to the living room, placing it on the table. He then walked back to the kitchen and took the remaining two plates and chopsticks, and handed one of each to me.

"Listen.. " he started and placed his plate on the table for a moment. My eyes bounced between him and the food and I just wanted to dive in because I was hungry as hell.

"Sorry.. I got lost into my thoughts.." I said quietly and looked at him. I let my eyes wonder on his face for a while. He was just as hot as always, and I knew I'd never get over about his looks. But it wasn't just the looks that made me fall in love with him back then. It was the way he was and what he had done for me.

2008

"I think I need some air.." I whispered to Joel. His girlfriend was dancing with her friends and he wasn't too interested in dancing with her. It was our 9th grade graduation party. The whole year had been crazy and I was surprised I even managed to get my diploma.

"Let's go to the roof" Joel said and stood up.

"Are we allowed to go there?" as much as I knew, the doors to the roof were usually locked and students were not allowed to go there anyway.

"Yes and no, but who cares. Come now" he laughed and pulled me with him not giving a damn of Niina's eyes on us. We walked through the long corridor in silence. Pretty much the only voice that was heard came from our steps echoing on our way to the staircase. As we reached there, Joel pushed the door open and we walked up the narrow stairs. After climbing the stairs, the next door was locked but it looks like Joel had a knowledge and the needed instruments to get the door open. He then placed something between the door so we wouldn't get locked up in there.

Warm breeze hit our faces and we sat on the rooftop. It was end of May but the weather was already quite nice, not too cold, not too hot.

"Well she didn't look happy.. " I said meaning how Niina looked at us.She had been with Joel since January. I wasn't really sure what the thing was between them or how serious some teenager relationships could be. The few so called boyfriends who I have had during the three years I have been in this school, have been more or less just some little bit more than friendship but a little less than a relationship things. Besides, we were only 15, we didn't even need to be too serious about stuff yet.

"She can manage few minutes without me" Joel said and looked around.

"She looks pretty tonight tho.. I really like her dress, way prettier than mine.. or me at all" I said quietly. I knew I had lost a lot of weight during the past year and my bones were showing out bit too much. I wasn't like overly skinny but my collarbones and ribs were easily seen when I had my shirt off. And I did hate my body. Not that I wanted to be this way but my life was bit fucked up at the moment.