save [joshler]

lovers

Tyler's pov

Month 44 

"So it's Derek."
"I'm sorry."
"Can I ask why?"
"You are a great guy. You are a wonderful guy. And you may even be the better guy. But,"
"He's the one."
"And I wish he wasn't."
"He's going to hurt you again. And when he does, I won't be here. Take care of yourself, Meredith."

"Fuck you Meredith, Finn is the one!" Joshua yells, throwing popcorn at the tv. 

"Straight up, Derek is a piece of shit, she deserves better than him!" I laugh. 

Joshua looks at me and smiles. "You're my Finn, babe." 

I chuckle and shake my head. "You're the Alex to my Jo." 

"Who the fuck is Jo?" He asks. 

"Fuck, I forgot you didn't get that far. She's amazing, you'll love her. Oh! And Deluca! Oh my God, he's amazing I love him." 

"Hey, stop spoiling the show!" He laughs, throwing popcorn at me. 

I gasp and throw a handful at him. "Ass!" I laugh. 

His jaw drops and throws even more of his popcorn at me. "Don't call me names!" 

I glare at him and take my bucket and in one swift motion, I dump all of it over his head. "Don't tell me what to do!" I laugh hysterically. 

He gasps and throws himself at me, wrapping his arms around my waist as we fall on the floor, laughing. He starts tickling my side, making me kick my legs and laugh until I can't breathe. 

"Joshua! J-Joshua stop!" I laugh out. 

"No!" He says, sitting on top of my legs so I can't flail them. 

"J-Josh-" I can't finish my words as my throat is being filled with laughter. 

His other hand reaches my left thigh and he pokes his fingers into the ticklish spots, making me laugh even harder. I can barley breathe, very close to not even being able to. 

"Don't dump your popcorn on me!" He laughs, tickling me more. 

All of a sudden, my chest feels tight and I see him for a second. Like, he is the one on me and I start to panic. "J-Joshua!" I yell. 

I think he thinks I'm okay, and he doesn't stop. "I'm not listening!" He laughs. 

Firetruck. 

My head feels light, a little dizzy and I feel sick. The room starts spinning and I can't breathe at all.

Firetruck! 

My eyesight flattens, I can't stop laughing but my throat is restricting my air. All I can feel is him on me, and tears start escaping me eyes. 

"F-firetruck!" I choke. 

Joshua instantly halts his movement and removes his hands from me. "I'm sorry, did I take it too far? I'm sorry, Tyler." He says getting off me. 

I take a few deep breathes, squeezing my eyes shut as tears keep falling from them. "Y-you're okay." I whisper. 

"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to take it too far. Do you need anything?" 

I shake my head and sigh. "N- you're okay Joshua." 

I feel his hand on my cheek which causes me to open my eyes, seeing his face inches away from me. "Are you okay?"  He asks. 

I nod and melt under his touch. "I'm okay." 

He softly smiles at me and kisses my forehead. "Do you want to go to bed? It's getting late." 

"One more episode, then we can go." I say, making him smile wider. 

"Okay, let's get you up off this floor." He kneels besides me and slides his arms under me, then picks me up. 

"Thank you." I say as he places me on the couch. 

He smiles and kisses me on the cheek, then sits next to me. "Of course love. I'm sorry for going too far." 

I shake my head and lay back, my head on the arm of the couch. "It's okay, Joshua. I'm okay." I smile. 

He nods and plays the next episode. "You're the Grey's to my Anatomy." 

"J, that makes no sense." I laugh. 

He rolls his eyes and pulls my legs over his, letting me lay down completely. "Yes it does, now shush or I'll miss something important." 

He watches the show intently, not even noticing me staring at him. Admiring him. Falling even more in love with him. He really is the Alex to my Jo, the Ben to my Bailey. He's the love of my life, and that doesn't even compare to how I truly feel for him. I don't think there'll ever be any word in the universe to explain or express how much I love him. 

We haven't been getting things for a wedding, or even thinking about it. I've been very...uneasy since Joshua told me Brendon found us. I've been avoiding the public since it happened, and that includes going to work, yes. Yes, I was fired. No, I don't care. It's for my own safety, I don't care. But anyways, we haven't done any planning for the wedding. I don't know if he still wants one, he doesn't have anyone to invite to it and I only have five people so I don't know what we're gonna do. 

Honestly, I would love a wedding. I would. But, I'm not doing this, getting married, for a wedding. I don't want to marry for standing in front of everyone and confess my love for my best friend. I just want to marry him, and I'm okay if there's no wedding or party. I just want him, and only him. For the rest of my life, I want him. 

"Jesus Christ, I fucking hate Derek." He sighs, shutting off the tv. 

I look across the room to the black, empty screen then back to Joshua. "The episode is over?" I ask. 

"Yes? Were you not watching it?" He laughs. 

"N-no, I must've drifted off." I smile. 

He shakes his head and reaches over to give me a short kiss. "We should've gone to bed then." 

I shrug and yawn. "Well we can go now, but you have to carry me." 

"I always carry you." He laughs. 

"It's because you love me." 

"You're damn right I do." He says, picking me up bridal style. 

He walks us up the stairs to our room and lightly places me on our bed. He sits next to me, leaning over and resting his weight on his arm behind me. "You're so pretty." He says. 

I smile widely, and blush. "You're just saying that." 

He shakes his head and looks over my face. "I would never just say that if I didn't mean it, baby boy. You're the most beautiful thing I've ever laid eyes on." 

I giggle and place my hands on his cheeks, pulling him down to kiss him. "I love you so much, Joshua." 

He kisses me again, this one lasting a little longer. "Tyler Robert Joseph, you are a fucking blessing. You are everything good in this world, and you make it a better place by just being yourself. I will do anything for you, just say the word and it's done." 

"Marry me." 

"What?" 

"Marry me. Tomorrow. We can go to the town hall and get married. We don't need a wedding, and if that's the only thing stopping us from being husbands, then fuck that. I can't wait any longer." 

He smiles and nods his head. "Yes, yeah, let's do it baby. Let's get married." 

I smile so widely, and sit up to hug. "I love you more than anything, J."