FALLING | MxM (completed)

Chapter 43

edited

"Ask what you want while I'm still in the mood of opening up!"

Edwin looked at Aiden, but he didn't know what he wanted to ask first. There were a thousand questions in his mind, but before he knew it, this flew out of his mouth, "Are you okay?"

Aiden lifted his eyebrows and scratched his chin. "Isn't that a little too broad? Gotta be more specific."

"Considering it all, how are you feeling?"

"Are you kidding me?" Aiden chuckled. "I feel like shit." He took a sip of the coffee and sank into the couch, throwing his head back.

"Your mother, you said you can't trust people because of her. What was the cause? What makes you feel that way about her?"

Aiden didn't look at him and kept on staring at the ceiling. He exhaled harshly before answering. "My father, the biological one, he left when I was 9. There was only my mom and I, and we kinda had to live with my grandparents. We couldn't afford anything on our own. But they weren't the most easy people to live with. As a kid, I was in denial most of the time. That nothing was wrong. That my life was just like everyone else's. My grandfather, he... he had a very harsh personality. I was 9, and I didn't know anything, but they all expected me to act according to their rules. I never had the opportunity to be a kid. I had to grow up fast to just know the rules, figure them out so that I wouldn't make anyone upset. So that they wouldn't tell me that I was scum just like my father. I really hate that man for telling me these things. It may sound like I'm spoiled because of holding the grudge, but I was a kid. I didn't deserve to be compared to the man who had left me." Aiden paused and took a deep, shaky breath before continuing. "One time after a big fight, I cried for the whole evening. I had no personal space, no room of my own, so I just sat in the corner, and cried while no one cared enough to ask if I was okay. And then my aunt and mom came back from work at night, my aunt gave me a death glare when I told my mom to please get a house and move out. She said they didn't have to keep me there. That it wasn't their responsibility. That night was when my mom lied to me for the first time and I still remember the hurt. She said- she said not to worry, that she's gonna get a house as soon as possible and we would be free from this torturous home. Two days after that, I asked her when we'll be leaving and she laughed at me and said 'Are you stupid? I can't afford a house.' I felt so disappointed and then it continued. Them crashing me without asking why I was introverted as fuck, and over time, she would promise me a better day. And she would always, always break her promises. She would build my hopes up to crash them into a million pieces. And because I loved her so much, I believed her each time. And then came along the man who had a family but my mom started going out with him. He would pay for a few things and he got us a house, so we were able to finally live separately. And again, she lied to her own family about having a good job that paid enough so that she could have these things. I hated that. I hated that I knew the truth but had to cover for her when they called and asked where she was. She made me lie. And then after a while, they broke up. I don't know the reason cos I wasn't home much. I started working at 12. I would just do anything to earn a little bit of money for myself and I would join every club at school to learn stuff. That's how I got into programming and the piano. And then Mr. Evans came along. He's a good man. He really is. They got married, and they changed my last name to his. And then they got Max." Aiden smiled at the mention of his brother's name.

"But why do you not like visiting them? You said he's a good man. Why don't you call him father?"

Aiden hummed. "That's a bit hard to answer. I don't really know how to put it into words." He paused, chewing on his lip. "My life hasn't been easy, really. I've been abused on so many occasions and because no one ever told me the boundaries that I had to put on people or the way they treated me, I had to learn it the hard way. And by learning them on my own, I started to hate the people I knew as family for not warning me beforehand. I don't like visiting cos as I said last night, I hate the fact that she never asked how I was. And when I look at her, all I see is the things she put me through and I don't wanna hate her. She's my mom and I can't hate her, so I keep my distance. And in his case, I can never call anyone father. Because the person who was supposed to be there left, and although he was an asshole, no one can replace his role. I'm happy he left, but I don't really wanna have a replacement."