| Girl on Fire |

48

VERONICA MALFOY

I didn't know how much time had passed when the door opened again. I pressed my back against the wall and gripped my wand until my knuckles turned white. Then I saw Draco kneel in front of me. "Ronnie, are you ok? What happened?" he asked. Mattheo walked in and stood behind him. I looked at both of them and stood up. I started to leave when Draco grabbed my arm. "Ronnie, wait-" he said. I yanked my arm away as pain shot up my skin. Then his face dropped. "You didn't." he said. Mattheo blocked my path and I turned back around. "No, No, No." he said as if he was trying to convince himself. Mattheo grabbed my arm and yanked up my sleeve. "Fucking hell Veronica, how could you?" he exclaimed. "Betrayal stings, doesn't it?" I said. I tried to push past him. "What did he make you do?" Mattheo asked. I shook my head. "Nothing." I lied. "That's not true. You wouldn't just get the mark without proving yourself first. Haven't you ever heard his latin phrase "Acta, Non Verba. It means-" he started. "Deeds not words. I know." I said. "What happened Ronnie?" Draco said. I shrugged and tried to push past them. "Just let me past." I said. "No, not until you tell us. Did he torture you?" Draco asked. "I'm fine." I said. "Fuck this. You don't want to say fine." he said as he drew his wand. "Legilimency." he said. I fell backwards onto the desk as he pierced through my head. I didn't even have a chance to put up walls. He saw everything. The second he saw me drop to my knees and undo his fathers belt he broke the spell. He looked at me with horror on his face. "What happened?" Draco asked frantically. "She was on her knees and not to show respect." he said. Draco stared at the floor as he put it together. "Ronnie, why would you-" he started. I looked at him with tears in my eyes. "My brother, My responsibility." I said. Then I left.

I've been locked in my room for the past couple days. Draco and Mattheo have both taken turns coming in and trying to talk to me. I just lay on my bed and stare out the window. Aside from the constant overwhelming pain in my arm, I'm numb. My fathers trial starts next week. Draco and I refused to testify. My mother didn't. She is still under his spell. I miss Mattheo. I miss running my hands through his curls. I miss tracing his scars. I miss him kissing me. I miss the part of me that loved him. But the hardest part is no matter how much I say I don't love him or try to convince myself I don't, part of me does. And I know I always will. But he will never forgive me for what I did with his father. Even though he knows why I did it and that I didn't want to, he will never look at me the same. I guess in a way I should be glad. It makes it easier to pretend to hate him. He screwed up first. He broke our promise, destroyed our trust and broke my heart.

My thoughts were interrupted by someone knocking. It was the second time today. I said nothing but they came in anyway. It was Draco. He came and sat at the edge of my bed and looked at me. "How are you doing Ronnie?" he asked. I said nothing. "I know you don't want to talk but Sev is here and he wants to see you." he said. I stared out the window. "He isn't going to take no for an answer so I'll send him up." he said. He walked out and a few minutes later, someone knocked. I sat up as the door opened and my godfather walked in. "Hello Veronica." he said calmly. I just looked at him. "Are you doing alright?" he asked. I pulled up my sleeve and showed him. "I know." he said. "Did Draco tell you? How I got it?" I asked. He looked at the floor and nodded. "He said I had to earn my place at their table. I had to Sev. I had to protect Draco. There was no other way." I said. He looked at me with a sad look on his face. "It's not your fault Veronica. Draco doesn't blame you, Mattheo doesn't blame you, your mother doesn't blame you, I don't blame you. Nobody says no to The Dark Lord." he said. I just nodded. "What if this was a mistake? What if I can't do it?" I asked. "Veronica, if anyone can survive this it's you. You know the spells, you are one of my best students. You are ready." he said. "What about Draco?" I asked. He looked puzzled. "What about Draco?" he asked. "Will he make it? Will he survive?" I asked. Severus sighed. "With you, yes." he said. I nodded. "Get some rest." he said and he walked out. I laid back down and stared out the window. My mind went back to every scenario and possibility that could happen. It was exhausting. Then someone knocked again a few hours later. I expected Draco to walk in but it was Mattheo.

"Veronica, can we talk? I need to-" he started. "Leave." I said. He walked over to my bed and I sat up. "Why did you do it? I did everything I could to protect you. And you did it anyway." he said. "I can protect myself." I said. "Please Veronica, I'm sorry." he begged. "I know you are and you should be. You lied to me and now Draco has the life I was trying to protect him from." I said. "I didn't lie to you. I made Draco a promise too." he said. "Just leave Mattheo." I said. "No. I'm not leaving until we fix this. I love you Veronica." he said. "Then you shouldn't have done what you did. You aren't just a bad boy Mattheo, you're a bad guy." I said. "I'm a bad guy? You're the one who sucked off my father!" he yelled. My face dropped and I flinched. He realized what he said and his face fell too. "I'm sorry I didn't mean that. I just-" he started. "Who's fault is that?! I never would have had to do that if you had just picked me in the first place. He made me do that to prove my loyalty because you didn't pick me." I said. "Veronica I'm sorry." he pleaded. "You think I wanted to do that. You think I wanted to be on my knees for another guy that wasn't you. Just like I was with Marcus and Adrian and Cormac. No. I didn't. But someone had to protect Draco and it wasn't you so it had to be me." I said. "Veronica, I'm so sorry. Please I didn't mean for that-" he started. "Please just go." I said. Draco came in from the yelling and walked over to Mattheo. "Give her time ok? She needs time." he said quietly. Mattheo nodded and he was gone again. I laid back down, once again...numb.