A Guide To The Opposite Sex (Discontinued)

Not Exactly What I'd Been Expecting

I slowly parked my cute Nissan and took a deep, soothing breath. I've got this. How bad can it be?

With that confident thought in mind, I climbed out and took my duffel bag with me up the steps to the big building. 

As soon as I swung the door open, I was assaulted by the strong smell of cinnamon. Well, I wasn't expecting that. 

"Oh, hello! You must be Rob!" I looked up at the middle-aged woman sitting behind a tall desk and made my way over. 

"Um yeah. That's me. I was told to come here for my schedule?" 

"Of course! Here you go," as she handed me a piece of paper, I noticed the beautiful pearl watch. 

"Is that Chanel?!" I saw the funny look she gave me and quickly cleared my throat.

"I was going to buy that for my mom's birthday, but they were out of stock. Anyway, thank you." I then turned and practically ran out of the office. 

Holy shit. I have to be more careful.

I looked down at the piece of paper and decided to go find my dorm first. Hmm...how hard can it be?

It turned out to be a lot harder than I'd thought. So after mindless wondering around campus, I finally approached a geeky-looking kid for help.

"Oh, that's easy. The dorms are right by the swimming pool." Swimming pool? Too bad I couldn't exactly go for a swim without revealing myself. And my nice pair of legs, if I do say so myself.

"Thanks bro," I said and then continued to walk down campus until I found the dorms.

I was getting curious looks as I walked down the halls but ignored them. I found my room number and then without thinking, I swung the door open.

"Uh!" I stopped myself from screaming "OH MY GOSH!" just in time and spun around. There, standing in nothing else but boxers, was my roommate.

My hot, tall roommate.

"Are you okay?" I heard him ask in a rough voice.  Oh dang, this was definitely not what I expected.

"Um yeah. Are you...decent?" I asked, still turned away from him.

I heard him chuckle and I felt like I'd melted into a pool at my feet. Damn hormones. "You can turn around now."

I let out a sigh of relief when I saw that he was in jeans and a t-shirt. "So why did you barge into my room again?"

"Oh right. I'm new here and apparently this is my dorm room."

"Cool. Well I'm off to the pool," after an awkward pause he added, "You wanna come? A bunch of guys from the swim team are getting together."

"Um no thanks. I'm...afraid of water." I mentally slapped myself at my lame response and didn't miss the dude's puzzled expression.

"Deadly allergic to it," I added to try and cover up my mistake but ended up making it worse. 

"So wait, how do you shower--"

"I'm sorry, I don't think I got you name," I asked suddenly to stop myself from screwing up more.

"Grant Jones. You?" Ohh he's even got a hot name...Grant. Why couldn't it be something old and ugly like Walter?!

"Erm," what was my name again? Oh right, "Rob Cooper."

"Well, I'm gonna go. See you later." I stared off in his direction and couldn't help but admire his biceps and nice hair. 

Snapping my thoughts back to a PG level, I began to unpack when my phone rang. 

The type of girl you wanna chew all of my bubble gum. I'm the type of girl you wanna take to yo momma house Take, t-t-take, take, take to yo momma house 

Crap! I lunged for my phone and quickly answered, "Hello?"

"Hey Rob!" I laughed and balanced the phone between my cheek and my shoulder.

"Hello Abby," I unzipped my duffel and pulled out a few pairs of pants. 

"How's it going? Got any information to report?" 

"Um, not really. Except that my hormone levels are skyrocketing."

"WHAT?!" Ouch, hearing damage.

"My roommate is a sexy beast. Seriously not what I had been expecting."

A/N:

Kay, well what do you think of this so far? THE FUN'S JUST BEGUN!

Btw, if you haven't seen the movie Paul Blart: Mall Cop, you have not lived. It's so stupid it's hilarious. And that ring-tone is from the movie. On the side is a part of the movie with the ring-tone. So silly ------>