A Guide To The Opposite Sex (Discontinued)

Damn His Stupid Puppy-Eyed Look

"Are you freaking high, Kyle?!" I shouted at my deranged twin brother. "You're delusional if you think I would even consider--"

"Oh c'mon, Riley!" he wined and flashed me his best puppy-eyed look. "Do it for the sake of humanity!"

I crossed my arms over my chest defiantly and shook my head, "No! I refuse to be a part of another of your crazy journalist plots!"

Just thinking about the last one Kyle had forced me to partake in made me shiver. Those lunch ladies will never forgive us... 

"Riley Anne Marie Josephine Cooper! Please, I need ya twinny! It takes two for a job of this magnitude," he said in a mock-serious tone. 

"What the hell? I don't have a middle name, let alone three."

Kyle flashed me a sheepish smiled and shrugged, "I dunno. I thought it sounded better like that."

I groaned and covered my face with my hand so he wouldn't see the grin that I couldn't fight off. "So seriously, are you goingta help me or not?"

"No! Do you remember your last undercover 'assignment'?! We were grounded for weeks!"

Kyle blushed and frowned, "That 'Behind The Lunch Line Counter' article would have been amazing had mom and dad let me use my research."

"Did you not just hear what I said? We were grounded. For weeks, Kyle! Mom and dad didn't even let me swim! It could have cost me the Nationals!"

"Yeah, whatever. Everyone knew you had that in the bag. Plus, you know who was there to record your winning heat and later write an article? Moi! And now you want to leave me alone when I need you the most!"

He kinda had a point...No! I am not jeopardizing my social life for Kyle.

"Please Ry. The only chance I'll have to make Editor & Chief of the school newspaper is if I write a big article to attract more readers."

I stared into his puppy-eyed face and groaned. "Fine. Just tell me what I have to do."

"Excellent!" I playfully shoved him away as he wrapped his arms around me and laughed. 

"Why does it have to be me?" I muttered under my breath but Kyle heard me.

"Well because you're the one that said being a guy was so easy and that all they do is go around thinking about sex and cars and breaking innocent girl's hearts. And then I wondered; do we really? Are my people actually like that? And more importantly, does the rest of the female population speculate that we are truly the stereotypical hot guy from girly-teen-girl movies? So yes, to answer your question, it had to be you."

I tried not to smile at Kyle's little rant but empicly failed. He narrowed his eyes at me and then added, "Plus, I'd never find another flat-chested girl that could pose as a guy."

And that's when I tacked Kyle to the ground and gave my stupid journalist brother a bruise on his arm. 

"MOM! Look what Riley did!" I laughed at his theatrics and sat down to finish my homework before my mom entered the kitchen with whinny little Kyle.

"What did you do to your brother?" I looked up at her with a mock-innocent expression.

"She punched me, mom!"

I gasped loudly and pretended to sob, "I did no such thing, mother!" She rolled her eyes at my posh English accent and then left the room, clearly too tired to care about our  stupidity. 

"If you weren't helping me, I'd hate you right now." 

"Whatevs. You so owe me, by the way. And I plan to cash in my favor at the most inconvenient time for you."

"So am I."

"For what? You haven't done me any favors." 

He smiled evilly and came forward with his expensive digital camera. "Check this out."

I looked at the screen and then doubled over in laughter. "You--are--the best brother ever!" I managed to get out.

"I know. I fucking rock. The douche deserved that after the way he treated you." My face fell a little as I thought of Ryder, my ex-boyfriend. He had cheated on me and then begged for my forgiveness. While I was considering accepting his apology, the hoe in question got a new haircut and suddenly Ryder isn't interested in me anymore. 

Whatever. I was over him. But I had to admit, the prank Kyle pulled on the cheating bastard made me feel a lot better. 

Even though my twin irritates the crap out of me, I had to admit that I'd be lost without him. And that's why I agreed to be a part of his new shenanigan: A Boy's/Girl's Guide To The Opposite Sex.

A/N:

This is a lot different than my other (much) darker and sadder stories. I kind of felt like I needed a break from constantly fucking over my character's lives and write a nice, funny, good ol' teen novel. 

No sex. No death. Just fun and games. 

We'll see how that goes.

What do you think of the twins so far? I'm basing their relationship off a lot on me and my older sister. We bicker like an old married couple and occationally declare our hate for each other but we are also the silliest pair ever. 

The Yin to my Yang, you know? And so I thought, it'd be like if my tomboy-ish sister was my male  twin. And if you've ever seen the movie She's The Man, you know you've always wondered what I'd be like to go undercover as a guy.

This story is what I imagine would happen if anyone actually tried that in real life. 

Anyway, I hope you all like it. Rate, Comment, Vote, Share. Pretty please? :P