I Belong To You ( man x boy )

Chapter 8

Masha

I don't know why but his words stir something deeply inside me. Tears that I don't how to stop, fall out from eyes. I can understand that he doesn't like me because I'm not like that woman, who is pretty, elegant and someone who came from a wealthy family like him. But actually hearing his words let me realized that no matter how hard I wished for him to notice me, its impossible.

That he will never, ever like me no matter what..

But sometimes, I ask myself. Searching for the right reason, for him to not like me. Is it because I'm a boy? Or maybe, because I'm still a child? Or rather, its because he doesn't feel any love for me...

Thinking about it, brought another wave of tears through me as my heart clench painfully inside my chest.

And even though I know that it sounds so dramatic coming from a 13 year old boy, whining like its the end of the world. It doesn't mean that its not true. Well, the others might not believe me, saying that I don't know anything about love. But it doesn't meant that it hurt less.

Or they might be right... Because like they say, I really don't have any idea, what true love meant. But still I don't know what to call to the strange feelings that blossoming within me. As my heart flatter inside my chest as I unconsciously look to every moves that he make? Or when, I felt so nervous when he's near me, especially if he's looking directly at me making me filled with so much happiness that I don't know I'm capable of feeling.

Its very complicated.. and there are no exact words that can describe the extent of the emotions growing within me.

But now, I don't know anymore. Remembering his words just a while ago, brought a great deal of pain in me. And honestly, I don't want to feel this anymore..

Its so painful, like I'm almost dying. As if someone twist, churn and stab my heart mercilessly.

And because my mind is in total haze and I didn't look at where I'm going, I accidentally bump to someone making me fall on my ass.

''Watch where your going, you fag!'' A familiar voice sneered at me, but my body trembles when I realized that its Shanna's voice.

Suddenly, I felt an excruciating pain on my head when a hand pull my hair, rather forcefully. ''Eh, what's this. Your crying..''

My lower lip quaver, when I saw a malicious glint swirl on her eyes. ''Did someone bully you, eh poor Masha??'' she snicker while tapping my cheeks with her palm. But I let out a yelp when her nails scrape the flesh on my cheeks, leaving a red angry marks on me. ''You should just leave. No one like you anyway. Your just a waste of space. A total loss cause...''

My mind go numb, as I slouched my body, not even noticing that she already left me. As my thoughts are filled with her poisonous words, slowly corrupting my mind.

With a zombie like state, I stood up and turn around. Walking aimlessly, not knowing where I'm going.

Looking around, I saw that I'm already in the highway, faraway from home...

Home! I spat bitterly in my mind. Their home, won't never be mine. Nor I would ever be a part of their family. And with a final glance at the fairytale looking palace I whirl my body and start walking. Away from there, away from him...

--

Three hours have passed since I ran away. Luckily for me a kind truck driver stop and let me rode with him up to the next town.

"Kiddo, are you sure that your okay?" The old man ask once I ask him to stop.

"Yes Sir, thank you very much.."