Loki x reader ( slow burn)

The talk

A/n: i hope you enjoy this chapter.
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Your eyes fluttered open to a blinding white light above your head.
Are you dead?
"Hey, you're finally awake. No you're not dead." Loki said, his voice breaking slightly.

"I ....." you couldn't form words. Your throat felt tight and it stung. What would you say anyway?
Is Nat ok?
"Nat's ok. Thanks to you." This time you didn't mind Loki hearing your thoughts.

"Hey y/n. It's Nat. I'm alive because of you, you might not remember but you did something with your magic to get me to the jet. I only broke my leg, it would've been a lot worse if you weren't there."

A tear fell silently down your cheek. Thank god she was okay.
What about everyone else?
"Everyone's okay." You missed his voice so much.
I think I died, I saw my memories and it felt like I was kind of in a in between place.
"Yeah, that in between place. Ive been there before, its not fun is it?"

You smiled.
No. It was not.
Loki smiled.

"Ill leave you two to catch up." Nat said.
You sat up slowly, trying to ignore the aching pain in your body.

"Hey." You croaked.
"Hey."
"How long was I out for?"
"Y/n. You were out for 3 days."
"Shit, really."

"Unfortunately yeah. I was extremely bored without you." His words were almost enough to make you cry.
Should you tell him?
"Tell me what?"
"I can speak now so get out of my head."
"Ok. But seriously, tell me what?"

"Ummm. I missed you." It wasn't exactly a lie, you did miss him.
"I missed you too."

"So what exactly happened when I was out?"
"Wanda found you half dead in the elevator. Thor carried you here, you were in surgery for 7 hours. I healed you as much as I could, which knocked me out for a day. Then yesterday I spent the day here, reading to you. Everyone came to visit you this morning, me and Nat stayed. Your all caught up."
"Are you okay, being out for a day doesn't sound too good?"

"I'm fine. I'm just glad you're okay. Also you were out for three so I think you win."
"When can I get out of here?
"Not for a while. Unless you are okay in a wheelchair for a week?"
"Ill take it. I hate it here. It's so depressing."

"Y/n. Are you sure?"
"Yeah."

You threw the cover off of your legs to find one in a full cast and a boot on the other.
This was going to be fun.
Loki lifted you gently, placing you comfortably in a wheelchair at the end of the bed. You reached for the wheels attempting to push yourself foreword. Your arms were still to weak so Loki pushed you using the handles at the back.

"I could've done it myself you know." You huffed. Staying in the medical wing was depressing, but this was embarrassing.
"Sure you could've." He laughed.

-
You spent the week being cared for and pushed around by team.
One time, Thor pushed you down a ramp. It was epic.
Bruce said you could move to crutches which was a lot less embarrassing.

You guessed it was your powers that helped you heal faster.

One night, after dinner you grabbed your crutches and went to your room.
You sat on your bed and just thought.

Come on, its been a week. You should tell him how you feel. What's the worst that could happen?
He could hate you and ignore you? Come on, just do it.
Ok.

You got up and took a deep breath. You got your crutches and knocked on his door.
He opened his door and gestured for you to come in.

"I need to talk to you. It's kind of urgent and I'm freaking out about it so you cant freak out cause then i will freak out more"
He looked confused but nodded.

"Ok, you might want to sit down for this." He sat down and looked at you expectantly.
"Don't look at me like that!" Shit why were you so nervous just spit it out.

"Ok. Sorry. What i am going to say is going to change things massively, whether you take it well or not. I know you said you don't want things to be tense between us, but I really just need to spit it out. Ok here I go ...."

Loki's POV

"Ok. Sorry. What I am going to say is going to change things massively, whether you take it well or not. I know you said you don't want things to be tense between us, but I really just need to spit it out. Ok here I go. I like you, like a lot. Not just as friends. I know those kisses weren't nothing, to me anyway. You are the first person I think about when I wake up, and you are what I dream about. I worry about you almost all the time. The only time I dont worry about you is when I'm with you so that if anything were to happen i could do something about it. If anything happened to you, I would never forgive myself. I never want to leave you alone. But if you want me to, I will. So basically what I'm saying is, I love you."

She loved me? This is possibly the thing I have waited for her to say.
I couldn't take my eyes off of her, but I couldn't say anything either.
"Say something. Oh dont look at me like that. Please just say something."
I wanted to say that I loved her too, that I want to spend every second with her.

I couldn't though, she deserves so much better than me. I would only be bringing her down. If I break her heart now, it will hurt a lot less than if I did it later. Let her down gently.
"Y/n. I'm sorry, but...."

Your POV

"Y/n, I'm sorry but I would never..."
"It's fine. Forget I said anything. Haha. I'll just be in my room." You felt like someone was jumping on your chest.
You made your way to your room.
"Y/n, wait."

"It's fine." You said with tears in your eyes as you closed your door in between you and him.
You laid down on your bed and sobbed into your pillow.
How could you be so stupid? Of course he didn't like you. Why would he?

Knock knock
"Yeah" you said trying to cover up the fact that you were crying.
"It's Thor." You wiped your tears and put on a smile as you felt a tugging in your chest.
"Come on in." You called out to him.

"There's dessert on the table. Are you coming out?"
You weren't in the mood to even move, let alone eat.
"No thanks, I'm full from dinner" you lied.
"Ok, see you in the morning." He said before closing your door.

You started crying again, this time staring at your ceiling.
You didn't sleep at all that night.