ipliers and septiceyes x reader [REQUESTS OPEN]

Soulmates | Illinois x Reader (Part 2)

(Y/N)'s POV

After our, uh...rather unexpected meeting in the catacombs, Illinois offered to lead me out and back to my group, which was pretty nice of him considering that he was in no way obligated to. plus, i had punched him in the face when i first met him. he spent the entire walk out flirting and eventually i just had to ask.

"hey, uh. not to be nosy or anything, but does your soulmate know you're flirting with literally anything that moves?"

at this, Illinois spins around so that he's walking backwards, all while talking to me.

"Don't have one, pumpkin." he says with a shrug and a grin. "i guess whatever's in charge of the whole soulmate thing decided i was just too beautiful to be tethered to just one person. i was made to be enjoyed by all." a wink, and another whip crack.

...i'm starting to think he has a dumb sound effect app on his phone or something.

"okay dude. look, i can see the dig site up ahead, so i'm just gonna head out and you can go back to being a 'gift to the universe' or whatever..."

before he gets the chance to reply, one of my coworkers spots us and starts to jog over while waving. 

"Hey (y/n), good to see you got out of that pit!"

upon getting closer and seeing i'm with Illinois, my coworker grins and shakes his head. 

"son of a bitch. why am I not surprised that you're here, illi? swept (y/n) off their feet too, i bet."

"Oh, you know me. where there's adventures to be had and handsome and/or beautiful people to woo, i'll be there."

"whoa whoa, who said you were wooing anybody? as far as i can tell my feet are still firmly planted on the ground, thank you. i mean, sure you got me out of a pit, but a rope could have done the same thing. you ain't special, pal."

a pause. uh...a pretty long pause, actually. did i offend someone or somethi-

suddenly, Illinois bursts into laughter. not the smug little chuckles i've noticed he does at his own jokes, but genuine belly laughter. his usual sly grin is gone in favor of a big smile, and his eyes are shut as he continues to giggle.

(A/N)-- blessing y'all with some mark giggles real quick to show you what i mean :3

and then i start to laugh too. 

"hah- oh my god! i-it wasn't even that funny! why are you laughing so hard?-"

Illinois continues to laugh for a few more seconds before finally standing up straight again and taking a deep breath to calm himself. 

"oh fuck, i'm sorry. just- no one ever jokes with me anymore. they're usually either too annoyed or too flustered. s' a nice change of pace, is all."

Illinois then turns to my coworker, who's still standing there watching.

"oh man. i like this one. how'd you get them on your team anyway? they seem way too fun to be hanging around with you guys. no offense." he turns to me. "seriously sugar, why are you hanging out with these guys? you seem like you'd be way more suited for adventure, like me." yet another wink.

it's then that my coworker pipes up. "believe it or not illi, some people work because they need to get food on the table. not everyone can live a life of adventure because they got rich from finding a golden banana or a watermelon sized hunk of garnet or whatever."

"hey man, maybe you're just not trying hard enough. and by the way, it was a ruby, thank you very much."

"yeah, as much as i'd love to find a mummy or various valuable materials shaped like fruits, i think i'll just focus on affording electricity for now."

illinois raises an eyebrow.

"you got a family, then?"

"none that lives with me, no."

"roommates?"

"not unless you count the cockroaches that live in my ceiling."

"pets?"

"redirect yourself to the previous cockroach statement."

there's a beat of silence before illinois poses one last, tentative question.

"you got a soulmate that lives with you?"

"for that to happen i'd actually have to have a soulmate." i say with an amused huff. "maybe it's like what you said earlier. what was it..? something like 'oooh, i'm so pretty and cool that everyone should get to experience my awesomeness! also convenient whip sound effects follow me around because i'm just that epic!' ...right?"

Illinois is briefly incapacitated by another bout of giggles before he can answer. 

"something like that, honey."

"another thing, what's with you and the food related nicknames? i mean...honey, sugar, pumpkin...next thing i know you're gonna start calling me, like...coleslaw, or eggs or something."

"nah, maybe something more like...peanut. 'cause you're salty. but i bet you can be sweet once you soften up a little, right?"

"if you call me peanut, i'm gonna call you banana man."

"hmm...deal. so peanut, what do you think about joining me on my next couple adventures? I've got enough spare cash to afford some extra plane tickets and hotel rooms. just say the word and you'd be able to go home at anytime, of course, but it'd be a nice change of pace to have a buddy who can make me laugh."

"...you know what? you've got yourself a deal, banana man."