To My Youth [BL]

[28] Hiding Behind My Shadow (2/2)

"...Health."

"Hm?"

"I... want to study health... and go into psychiatry."

Mr. Shen's lips parted, and the creaks of the broken air conditioner filled the gaps in their conversation.

Even his father, who sat beside him with a naturally sunken face, looked at his son with surprise.

A large smile formed on Mr. Shen's face, and he nodded. "Both your science and English are definitely improving. From 78 to 132 for English and 103 to 245 for natural science is quite a big improvement. That's good. You have something to work towards. But that is an extremely hard course to get into, especially since it's part of the medicine faculty. You might need to get at least above 95% for all your exams. Luckily, only this year's results count towards your university marks."

Gu Xiao's face softened. He needed a few minutes to process what he had just blurted.

It felt like a thin layer covering his eyes had finally been peeled off, and his vision had gradually become more transparent. But he didn't dare look into anyone's eyes. Not Mr. Shen's or his father's.

"Although you may have had a rough start, it's never too late to get back on track. If you keep these results, or even higher, throughout this semester and in the entrance exam, then it can be achievable. Just make sure not to sleep that often in class anymore, alright? It feels like the teachers are alarms for you at this point," Mr. Shen scolded.

"And even if you don't get into psychiatry immediately, you can always do pathways. The journey might be longer and more tiring, but as long as you have the motivation and the determination to get to that point, then that is all that matters."

Mr. Shen continued talking to his father and occasionally would ask Gu Xiao some questions, to which he would just respond with a couple of nods.

Strangely, what he thought would be an oppressive interview turned into something comforting. Of course, he would sometimes sweat in guilt when Mr. Shen exposed his misbehaviours during school times and his lack of punctuality.

There were times Gu Xiao complained about Mr. Shen and how frustrating his scolding was. But truthfully, if he was to delve deep beneath his heart's desires, he would miss Mr. Shen's overpowering voice each time he arrived late, or when he slept during homeroom, or when he was messing around during morning exercise with his friends, or when he skipped fourth period to get food with Zhang Yongyin, or when he dressed lousily to school.

Although he once expressed how stifling school was for him, perhaps he would yearn to relive those frustrating moments in five years.

✎✎✎

Just as they were about to leave, Mr. Shen said, "It seems putting the student president next to you helped. And you were all complaining about it at first."

Gu Xiao scratched his neck. "...Yeah..."

The pair of father and son exited the office in silence.

They both wanted to say something to each other. There were too many thoughts in their heads, yet there was nothing.

"... I'll go back to work now," his father said.

His back was still huddled, as though he was trying to prevent his front from being exposed.

Maybe it was due to being constantly chased and attacked by the debt collectors or simply bad posture.

But there was a time when he stood with his back straight, and instead of that unsure and solemn smile, there was a time when it glowed. Yet, with time, nothing stays the same.

"Um..." his father's lips separated but closed. After a brief silence, he spoke quietly, "I'm sorry... You...will make an excellent instructor... and whatever you choose to do in the future, I will support you even though it might not mean much coming from me now... um... I'll get going now."

His father turned around and walked down the corridor as Gu Xiao watched the tall, slouched man in the worn-out black leather jacket.

There were small rips near the bottom, though it wasn't that noticeable if it were the eyes of a passing stranger.

He never knew how much hair his father had lost, and the ones that still hung on his head had grown all white. The words he held on to for a lifetime were all stored in his white hairs.

"Dad," Gu Xiao called.

Their father halted and slowly turned around with the same drooped brows and tired face.

"You should bring that person you're seeing over next time."

Gu Xiao couldn't tell what sort of face their father currently wore since he stood too far away. He wanted to reach out to that hunched back, but he was only drifting further and further away, leaving him to just keep his hands by his side.