To My Youth [BL]

[20] The Next Page (1/2)

When their bus arrived, it wasn't packed, so Gu Xiao and Lan Yuning took a seat near the back.

The trees towered over the road, preventing the setting sun's bright glow from seeping through the windows.

Gu Xiao opened the bus's window, and the cold air greeted their skin. The scenery repeated many times, passing by a small forest, a few valleys, before entering another small city with rising buildings.

"He Rong," Lan Yuning uttered with slight hesitancy. "I know him from cram school."

Gu Xiao, whose eyelids were about to lower themselves from tiredness, instantly darted them up and flung his head around.

"Really? If you went to the same cram school as him, doesn't that mean we went to the same one too? Did you used to live in Shanghai too?"

"I didn't really live there; it was more of a brief stay. I had to live separately from my father for a while. So, while he was in Beijing, I was living in the Huangpu district. As for the cram school, we were probably in different classes."

His eyes lit in surprise, and he asked, "He Rong and I were put into different classes, so you were in his class? But how long were you at that school for?"

"Only for the two years that I stayed in Shanghai for before I moved back to Beijing, but it was during our junior years."

"Wait, then how did we not pass by each other even once?"

"Do you know how many people attended that cram school? Why would you even greet someone you don't know?"

"That's true. Imagine if we met back then," he laughed.

"If we met back then..." Lan Yuning's voice gradually drifted off, and his mind swallowed in a clutter of thoughts.

A short silence lingered in the air as he pondered for a while before responding, "I would've avoided you."

An arrow pierced through Gu Xiao's heart, and he sobbed, "Of course, of course. You could probably tell by the conversation that He Rong and I used to be acquainted. I'm sorry if he did something to you too."

"...Why are you apologising?"

"He Rong was right. I was a coward. Maybe I still am. Probably. If I wasn't stupid or a coward, then maybe I could've stopped—"

"No."

"No?"

"You told me to not believe his words, so why do you believe them? You are not—" Lan Yuning shut his mouth before he said anything that would make him embarrassed, but Gu Xiao's face remained indifferent.

The calming wind and the quiet bus that lacked passengers offered a soothing ambience to be brought upon them.

If only this bus ride could go on forever, and this comforting silence with occasional chatter could be preserved.

Yet, it was simply a dream.

The bus stopped alongside a street, and more people got on, raising the noise levels higher.

He suddenly remembered Wang Xing's, He Rong's, and his past classmates' words.

Those exact words that acted as daggers in one's heart. Gu Xiao never had a pleasant experience with this topic, especially because of what He Rong triggered that costed someone's life.

That was why when he heard Wang Xing ridiculing Lan Yuning, he was afraid of the same outcome. Gu Xiao didn't want to repeat the same mistakes.

He didn't want to lose anyone again.

Why must others feed on other people's suffering, only to feel a sense of security for themselves? This was a question that always hovered above his head.

"It was just a small mistake."

Gu Xiao groaned and rubbed his face. "Just thinking about his face makes me want to punch him. Why did I let him go again?"

"Don't act rashly in public."

"Does that mean I can act rashly in private?"

Lan Yuning simply shook his head in disappointment as a smile escaped Gu Xiao's lips. From this angle, from this distance, from this moment.

Together like this.

It was good enough.

Maybe it was better if nothing was said at all. That way, there would be nothing to lose.

"He Rong, he..." Lan Yuning started, only to allow his thoughts to take over. "Nothing."

"Hey, you can't just leave me hanging again."

Lan Yuning gazed out the window as the breeze brushed through their hair. The chatters of the people in the bus and cars driving past drowned the silence of their conversation until Lan Yuning decided to continue.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course. Depends on if I'm able to answer it."

He played with the edge of his sleeves, gathering every last drop of his courage, and asked, "Did you used to skip cram lessons through the covered path at the corner of the playground?"

"How did you know?" Gu Xiao stammered, completely baffled by his knowledge.

A short silence befell them. Suddenly, Lan Yuning smacked Gu Xiao's knees.

Letting out a short yelp, Lan Yuning simply turned his head back around, his face buried in his puffed jacket.

Not knowing what had just happened, Gu Xiao darted his eyes between his knee and the pouting boy. Truth be told, it didn't hurt at all, but he was still confused about what he did to deserve that hit.

"Did I do something wrong?" Gu Xiao asked.

He let out a quiet, "Mn."

"What did I do wrong?"

This time, Lan Yuning didn't respond, making Gu Xiao frown.

"Alright. Alright. Don't be mad at me. I'm sorry for whatever I did."

Gu Xiao continued apologising, even though he didn't know what he was apologising for, but he knew he must have done something wrong for Lan Yuning to be upset with him.

Gradually, little by little, the corner of Lan Yuning's lips slightly curled, forming a soft smile. Gu Xiao's thought process suddenly froze as his eyes drew themselves to that gentle expression.

Lan Yuning's lower face was somewhat hidden by his large jacket that made his cold hands seem so smaller than usual.

Even his straight, short-black hair that hung before his distant eyes that had this flickering light and his small, rounded earlobe where the mole hid behind.

He was drawn into them all.

Gu Xiao had seen his smile once before, though it was only for a second when they were at the arcade, so this was the first time he paid such close attention and with this close distance between them.

He didn't know why Lan Yuning was smiling, but he liked it. His smile.

Although Lan Yuning didn't speak that often, Gu Xiao sometimes wished he did since his voice was pleasant.

It was soothing and calm that if he listened to him talk for more than a minute, he could probably sleep without any worries.

Gu Xiao also realised how Lan Yuning would always look straight into his eyes, or in his direction, every time he asked a question. And he liked it.

Gu Xiao pieced everything together when he thought about He Rong and Lan Yuning's awkward interaction. That was when he concluded that the person He Rong was seeing was Lan Yuning. 

"Do you still like He Rong?"