I didn't let the day end without cornering Myra. She came home from work and entered her room without saying a word to anybody. A few seconds later I was knocking on her door.
Myra sighed, but didn't say anything.
"If you don't open the door, then I'm going to invite myself in," I told her.
Normally I wouldn't put myself in the middle of other people's problems, but I was becoming a little more bold. I didn't know if it was the training or the fact that I was finally interacting with people that were like me. We were all different in our own way but we shared a connection that not many people have.
A few tense seconds passed before the door unlocked and opened. I entered cautiously, unsure of how Myra's temperament was or if I needed to run in case it was bad. Myra slowly trudged back to her bed and plopped down with a sigh. She has never been down like this. It had me concerned.
"What happened out there earlier Myra? Jason won't tell me and I am beyond confused," I said gently.
"It's not that important. You should be worried about your own power and training. Not me," she replied, sounding exactly like Jason did earlier.
"You and Jason are my only friends. In all honesty, I consider you guys my family. You're the only two people in the world that care about me. I can't not worry about you. There has been tension between the two of you, and if my intuition serves me correctly it's been there since long before I came around. You can try to play it off, but you won't fool me. I'm not leaving this room until you tell me exactly what is going on," I replied.
Myra rolled over onto her back and gave me a long hard look before sitting up and crossing her legs. She motioned for me to come over and patted the space in front of her. I promptly complied.
"Things between Jason and I will most likely always be complicated, but I can tell you what happened earlier. You know how our powers are tied with our emotions?" she said. I nodded in response.
"Well, I would say that quality combined with the natural volatility of my power sometimes results in the slip of my control. My power absorbs and distributes energy both from me and my surroundings. It literally thrives on draining the life force from others. Sometimes the pull is too strong for me to control. You have no idea how much energy I harbor, Daisy Lynn. No idea at all.
"When I get too excited that energy begs to be released. That's what you see when my eyes flash. When any emotion becomes too strong, my control slips. With Jason's help I've been able to minimize it, but as you can see sometimes it still happens. My power almost has a mind of its own. It's like every source of energy I've ever absorbed comes forth and fogs my own consciousness. And the scary part about it all is that it doesn't bother me like it should. I should feel like a horrible person for giving in and even having this kind of thirst, but I don't. In fact, sometimes I thrive on it. And I've always been like that. I've always been a fighter and I've always had a strong sense of bloodlust as a result.
"Despite that, I truly am sorry that I attacked you earlier. You and Jason are my only family too. I don't have anybody to go back to either. My family would never take me back after the way I left them. And the same goes with Jason. Sometimes he's a complete ass, but he really does care about the both of us."
I felt my eyes prick at Myra's words. It was truly moving to hear her open up about her power and how she feels. I moved to wrap my arms around her. It didn't matter to me that she was dangerous - probably far more than even she knows. What mattered was that she knew that I was there for her.
Myra hugged me back and although she was small her grip is tight. A thought came to my mind as we released each other.
"The first time you and Jason fought...you know back when we were about to start phase two of training and you demonstrated how the fighting would go?" I began and she nodded in response.
"You did something strange that day. After Jason beat you and you were recuperating, you held on to a tree and literally sucked the life out of it. And as the tree shriveled up you returned to normal. Does that have to do with the pull being too strong to control too?" I asked and Myra stiffened as she nodded again, more somberly this time.
"It does. When I'm compromised my power becomes harder to control. Something like that was beyond me. It just happens and there's not much I can do about it. If I'm down then my power does anything it can to bring me back up whether I like it or not. It doesn't matter who or what it is - if I'm in desperate need of a boost then you're it," she replied.
I nodded. That explained a lot, but there was still one thing I didn't get. I hesitated for a moment, but decided to go ahead and ask since we were being open.
"Okay, so I get why things went awry earlier. And I get why sometimes you act the way you do when hostile situations arise, but I don't understand the dynamic between you and Jason. One second you guys are friendly and the next he's acting like you're his worst enemy. He won't tell me what the rift is or even admit that there is one, but I know that we both know that there is unexplained tension between the two of you," I said.
Myra sucked in a deep breath and closed her eyes for a moment. She pinched the bridge of her nose and her eyebrows furrowed together. Mumbling incoherently she opened her eyes and looked me dead in the eye.
"There has always been tension between Jason and I. From the very first moment that we met, there has been tension. I'm not going to lie to you - it hasn't always been this strained tension that you see now. At first it was more...physical. You've seen Jason. He's attractive. Hell, if we want to be completely honest here I'd put him right up there with the Greek gods. He's smart. He's thoughtful. He's very controlled, but if you look deep enough you can see that he's rough around the edges. He's not truly the same persona that he puts up for show.
"All those things are what attracted me to him. We clicked. Whereas I visibly needed work, he hid his own flaws very well. When I was brash with him, he gave it right back and vice versa. It didn't take long before our interactions turned less friendly and more flirtatious," she flipped her hair over her shoulder and cast her eyes away from me for a moment. If I didn't know her very well I wouldn't have thought much of it, but I did. Myra was nervous.
"Eventually our relationship turned physical. Or at least that's what we tried. It didn't take very long to figure out that my power was a barrier to things like that. It got to the point where I couldn't even kiss him without it interfering. Things got awkward quickly. Neither of us foresaw it happening, but now there's this huge gap between us that I don't think either of us will ever be able to fix. I'll never be able to give him what he wants...I'll never be able to please or satisfy him until I can figure out how to get a grip on my power. Meanwhile, I know he's starting to move on. The way he looks at you every now and then doesn't go unnoticed on my part. I can't even blame him now, but it sure does hurt. It hurts like hell. And there's not much I can do about it except to sit back and watch," she said.
"Wow," I said, feeling a little unsure about how to reply.
"I know it must be hard to have to go through that. But I'm pretty sure that Jason hasn't moved on. He's just a guy. Guy's naturally check girls out whether they like them or not. I'm not really much to look at anyway. I think that with time you'll be able to get past your barriers. It's just up to you two to talk it out without allowing it to turn hostile. Jason likes to be in control and you like confrontation. That's a bad combination for you two if you want to have a relationship, let alone a healthy one," I continued.
Myra cocked her head at me and squinted her eyes for a brief moment. There's still that faint smirk on her face - I think she does it subconsciously. I watched as she got off the bed and walked over to her dresser. After a few moments of rummaging through her drawers she pulled out a hand mirror. When she returned to the bed she held it up to my face and brought one of my hands up to hold it.
Angling the mirror so that both of are faces are visible, she began to speak.
"You're right for the most part, Daisy Lynn. Jason and I have a lot to discuss, but now is not the time. That will have to happen later on when things settle down. There is one thing you're wrong about though. Tell me what you see in this mirror."
"You and I?" I said, making it sound like a question.
"Really look in the mirror, Daisy Lynn."
I did as she instructed, although I didn't want to. I knew what was looking back at me. Blonde hair and blue eyes and a face that told many sorrows. A face that had been beaten to oblivion many times in the past. A face that somehow held very few scars from those beatings. I saw a girl that was helpless and weak. I saw a girl that could stand to lose a few pounds. A girl that not even her own father could love. I saw a girl that deep down despised herself. A girl that nobody could ever want.
I pushed the mirror away.
"I see two girls who are far from perfect," I replied and got up from her bed.
I made my way to her door before looking back. Myra's face was full of pity. She couldn't offer the same emotional support I provided her. It just wasn't in her nature. I couldn't ask that of her nor would I expect it. I could see it in her eyes: pity.
The seams that were stretched long ago were slowly, but surely beginning to burst.
***
I was lying across my bed when my phone began ringing. My conversation with Myra left me feeling more worn down that I thought it would. Bearing the weight of her problems was easy and simple. Facing my own, was a completely different story. It felt like my insecurities were wide out in the open. Were they really that easy to see?
Was I really as weak as Pa made me out to be? Did I really warrant as much pity as Myra gave me earlier? Was I even worth Jason and Myra's troubles?
My phone's continued buzzing brought me out of my thoughts. I looked at the caller ID. It was Hunter.
"Hello?" I said softly. Jason was out doing whatever it is he does when he's not at home and Myra was still in her room. The last thing I needed to do was spike her interest by being on the phone.
"How's it going, Daisy Lynn?" Hunter said, the baritone of his voice drawing me in.
I sighed.
"Honestly, it could be better," I said.
"Why is that?" he asked.
I hesitated for a moment. Should I really my problems on him like this? It wasn't right nor fair. Hunter shouldn't have to bear the weight of my issues every time we talk.
"Just life," I replied.
"I know the difference between 'just life' and when something has happened. I told you the last time I'm here to be your friend. Let me do that, Daisy Lynn," he said.
I rolled onto my back and looked up at the ceiling.
"Sometimes it just feels like everything is wrong. Sometimes I wonder why I even bother with half of the things that I do. It's so easy to care about other people's problems, but when it comes to my own they're so huge I can't see the end from the beginning. It really is just life in general," I said.
"Are you busy right now?" Hunter asked.
"Not really...I'm laying in bed. Why?" I responded.
"If you're not dressed, get dressed and go outside."
"Why am I going outside?" I asked, but I found myself pulling on a pair of jeans.
"You'll see. Let me know when you go out."
A few minutes later I'm standing outside on the back porch looking out at the night sky.
"There's a full moon tonight," Hunter said.
"There is..." I replied, still feeling unsure.
"I want you to close your eyes and just focus on the moon. I want you to channel all of you energy into that and let it lead you to wherever you feet take you."
I hesitated.
"Trust me, Daisy Lynn. I won't lead you wrong."
I wasn't sure, why I trusted Hunter but I did. There was something about him that called to me. His voice was gentle, yet commanding. I looked up at the moon for a moment before closing my eyes and doing as he told me.
I felt something inside of me jolt as I tried to channel my energy into my thoughts. A few moments later I found myself walking aimlessly. I was sure that I looked foolish, but I didn't even care. It was as if I could feel the tides of the Earths ocean's rocking back and forth with the moon's gravitational pull.
I felt at peace.
I wasn't sure how long I was in the trance, but I found myself right at the edge of a large lake. The sight jolted my out of my thoughts. How the hell did I end up here?
My head swiveled around a few times trying to orient myself with the location. I look at the phone in my hand. Was Hunter still on the line?
"H-Hunter?" I said into the phone.
"Boo," a voice said behind me.
I twirled around and a gargled scream came from my mouth. My arms felt chilled so I knew that my fear resulted in them being covered with ice. I took a closer look at the figure that spooked me and quickly recognized it as Hunter.
"Good god, Hunter, don't scare me like that," I said clutching my chest.
"How did I end up out here? Why are you out here? H-how did you do that?" I stammered.
"A great magician never tells his secrets," he replied and a charismatic smile.
I narrowed my eyes at him.
"That sure as hell was some trick," I said. It was down right uncanny. So much so that it bothered me. It wasn't really so much a scared bothered, but a burning curiosity.
"Maybe someday you'll find out, but -" he reached out and surrounded my hand with his, "right now my job is to cheer you up."
I looked at his hand in mine and tried to ignore the butterflies I felt in my stomach.
Hunter led my to the edge of the lake which shown brightly under the moonlight.
"I always come out here when I'm feeling down, so I felt like you'd like it out here too considering your, um, power? I find myself out here a lot actually," he said.
I looked out at the lake. It really was beautiful. I could see fish swimming underneath the surface, even at this time of night.
Suddenly I was hyperaware of that fact that Hunter's hand was still in mine. I couldn't resist squeezing it for a moment before the tears came forward.
There was so much that I wanted to say, that I couldn't. It felt like there was a natural connection with Hunter. Like maybe it ran deeper that what he made it appear to be. I couldn't wrap my head on how I ended up out here, but in that moment I found myself not caring - that seemed to be a growing trend when it came to Hunter.
I felt his arms wrap around me and I buried my face in his chest. After several minutes of that I moved away from him, but not very far.
There was an unspoken communication between the two of us. He knew that I needed this and I knew that he would always offer it. A connection was building, and very quickly. It ran deep and was almost tangible. I wasn't sure what to make of it or how exactly it was happening, but as I snuck a quick glance at Hunters bright blue eyes and handsome face, my resolve strengthened once again. This was the emotional support I needed. I just needed a shoulder to cry on every now and then.
I always thought it was something that was too much to ask for, but in this moment with Hunter I found that I didn't ever have to ask.