Marcus POV
"Will you Marry me, Allyssa? I love you so much, Love! I don't think I can ever love someone more than I love you! Please make me the happiest man alive by marrying me?" I sincerely asked her while looking at her face, hoping to hear the one answer I wanted for the rest of my life.
"Please say yes! Please, love? Please say Yes!". I said in my mind while looking at her.
She is just looking at me too. Allyssa looks so confused, shocked, and thinking. After a few seconds, she gave me the answer that changed everything in my life.
"I'm sorry, Marcus! I'm so sorry! But my answer is no! I can't marry you!" Without waiting for my response, she left!
She just left, leaving me still on my knees, shocked and confused about what had happened.
What? No
I was shocked by Allyssa's response to my proposal so much that I was stuck on my knees for a few seconds. My mind becomes blank; nothing about this makes sense to me.
No? Is her answer, no?
When my sanity returned, I instantly got up and ran after her. Thankfully she was just about to open the restaurant's main door and leave the premises. I ran faster and immediately held her hands to stop her. I don't care if we are making a scene here, but I know I need to stop her by all means.
"Love? No? You don't want to marry me? Why? Did I do something wrong? Did I upset you or something? Please tell me, Love causes I don't understand! We love each other so much, so why are you saying No? Please look at me; Love!" I'm begging her to look at me. I couldn't read her face; no emotions were evident on her face, which was scaring me at the same time, making me so confused because I had never seen her look like this. She looks nothing like my sweet and bubbly Allyssa. What the hell is happening? I don't understand anything!
"Yes, I love you!" She answered faintly but was not looking at me. She loves me, but why say no?
"You love me? So why Love? Why say no? Tell me, please, because I'm so confused right now. Please tell me! I can accept anything, but please tell me why you are saying no to me. I think I deserve an explanation from you." I continue to beg her.
"I'm so sorry, Marcus! But I can't! I really can't accept your proposal! I'm sorry, but I need to go. I need to go!" She said to me. She forcefully removed my hand holding her and proceeded to leave the restaurant. I ran after her again and continued asking why she refused. I don't understand what went wrong for her to be like this to me! We are just so happy, and now it has become like this! I can never accept this! Never!
We were now in front of the restaurant; Allyssa tried to call a cab, but I stopped her by hugging her from behind.
"Please, love! Please don't do this to me! I'm begging you! Please!" I know I sound pathetic for begging Allyssa, especially since we are in a public place, but I don't care! I only want her and will do everything to make her stay! I was hugging her, but she forcefully released herself from me. I walked before her to see her face, but she looked away.
"You can't marry me? Is this about your career, Love? You know I can wait. I'm not rushing you to marry me. I'm just proposing that I will wait until you are ready. I can wait, just please...." She cut me.
"Marcus, I'm sorry, but I think we need to break up...." She said to me while looking straight in my eye; her expression changed. She now looks emotionless, like what she just said is nothing.
We need to break up!
We need to break up!
We need to break up!
Her words keep repeating in my mind like a broken cassette tape. I don't understand her! Why?
"What? Why Love? Break up? Just because I proposed to you. Is what I did hurtful and unacceptable that you will break up with me? Is that it? Okay, let's just forget about it! Just pretend that we just had dinner tonight. I promised I wouldn't bring this up ever again. I will wait until you are finally ready! But please, Love, don't break up with me. I can't live without you! I will never want to break up with you! Never! Please love! Don't break up with me. Please stay! Stay with me!" I tried to hold her hand, but she removed it again. I pleaded with her.
I'm so confused right now. I tried to read Allyssa's thoughts, but no! She is just looking at me. No hurt, not a smile, no tears. Nothing! She is just empty. I really can't understand anything right now! I'm trying to ignore my feelings and just focus on begging Allyssa to stay! I don't care about my feelings; I just need her! I can bear to accept anything. I can wait for her forever and about my dream just for her. Just not this! Never this that I have to break up with the woman I love the most.
"No! Marcus! I made up my mind. I think we need to break up! Yes! You told me you could wait, but I know you, Marcus. I know how much this means to you. To have a wife and children on your own. It's your dream, Mew! It will always be! We can't keep going in this relationship with you waiting for me when I know I can't give you what you want for long! I have plans! Long-term plans and this is not included in that! I can't continue with this! I need to fix things and do something first!" She said to me! I tried to hold her, but she kept on pushing me away.
"No, Love! I promise I can wait! I can wait for you to be ready! No! I can forget about my dream. What's important is that you are with me, and I'm with you. You need to do what exactly? Fix what? Please, love, I really can't understand anything."
"No, Mew! My decision is final. We need a break from each other from now on. I can't continue with you anymore. I'm so sorry, Marcus! I'm so sorry~ Please forgive me, but I had to do this!" She turned her back on me.
"Please, love! Please don't give up on us! Please don't break up with me! I can't continue to live without you! I can't! Please love! Please!" I'm crying while I continue to beg her. I feel so hopeless and so hurt!
"I'm so sorry, Mew, I am sorry!" There she is, hailing a cab and just taking off away from me.
I tried to go after her, but she was already gone. The cab continues to drive away while I keep on running.
"Allyssa! Allyssa! Please no! Stop! Please stop!" Suddenly my legs give up on me because of so much running! I broke down while crying on the side of the road. I don't care if many people see me! I'm hurt! I'm so fucking hurt!
Why? What is happening? How could she just break up without giving me a valid reason? Did I do something wrong? Are my love and effort not enough? I don't understand anything!
"Sir, are you okay?" Someone approached me, which made me snap out from crying! I need to do something! I can't let things go this way! I can't lose her! I immediately ran back to my car and drove.
I drove myself to Allyssa's studio, but she was nowhere to find it when I arrived. I tried to ask her manager, but she just told me she had already quit moments ago. Quit? Why? What the hell is happening? Isn't this her dream? So why quit? I tried to call her best friend.
Ring! Ring! Ring! Ring!
"Hello, Marcus?" Her best friend answers.
"Hello, Annika! Do you know where Allyssa is right now? I can't get a hold of her. Her phone just keeps on going to voicemail. I searched for her at her studio, but her manager said she had quit. Why? Why did she suddenly quit? Is there something going on that I don't know? Please tell me!"
"I'm so sorry, Mew." Why is she saying sorry? Did she know something?
"Why are you saying sorry."
"I'm sorry, Marcus, but she was gone! Allyssa is gone!" She told me, and then I could hear her sobbing.
"Gone? What do you mean gone? Please, Annika, tell me because I'm about to lose my mind now! Please help me because I need to see her! I need to talk to her!" I pleaded with her.
"I'm sorry, Marcus, you will never find her again. She's gone! I'm so sorry, but I think you need to forget about her. She is gone, Marcus!"
"Why? Forget about her? Are you serious? No! I can't. Please just tell me where she is."
"I'm so sorry, Marcus! I'm so sorry~" then she hangs up.
What is happening? I don't understand! I tried going to Annika's house, but she did not face me. She keeps telling me I need to move on by using her maid. The hell with moving on. How can I move on? I'm confused right now! I didn't go home for the whole night. I tried going everywhere I could find Allyssa. I know I'm a mess, but I must find her first. But no luck for me!
I continue to look for Allyssa! Like a madman, I go everywhere and ask anyone who might know where she is. I didn't until I received a message from Allyssa.
"Love, if you're reading this. I'm finally gone. I'm sorry; Love. I'm so sorry. I can't explain everything right now, but please remember this. I do love you! I still love you. I will always love you, but I need to fix myself first. I need to fix everything first. Please move on from me. Love again! Forget about me. I'm not worthy of your love. I'm nothing compared to you, so please find someone who can love you more than me. Please find someone who will always be there for you, unlike me. Who will treat you well? Who chooses you above else cause? I know I can't do that, especially now. Please, love, forgives me. I know you will try to find me but please don't bother to do that. I have already changed everything about myself. You will never see me again. I know it will be hard for both of us, but I will do my best to continue living and fix myself. Please do too. I'm so sorry, love. I am. I hope you all the best. It may be the last time I say this to you, but I love you so much. I do! I will always love you. I love you, and goodbye."
Reading her text made me more confused about what was happening. Change her everything? For what? I was about to go and continue to look for Allyssa, but my body didn't seem to coordinate with me. I collapsed on the spot due to exhaustion after reading her text.
The following day, I found myself in the hospital again. As I opened my phone, hoping that all of this was not true. Scanning my phone made my hopes shattered into millions of pieces seeing Allyssa's message from last night.
It's true! Everything that happened is true! Allyssa is gone!
~~~
I didn't stay long and hurriedly left the hospital despite not knowing where to go! I feel so lost right now! I don't know what I am going to do next!
Suddenly I heard my phone beep, and when I checked the notification. It says "Vacation time." I remembered that Allyssa and I should be on vacation right now if things go according to plan.
What am I going to do now? I'm alone! Everything is useless now! I'm useless!
I decided to go to the resort just to get away from everything. I feel like my life is now meaningless. I felt like a corpse with no purpose! How can I continue to live if you're gone? Why Allyssa? Please come back to me!
Please! I'm begging you!
To be continued
WAANJAIMJORA