At first, when we find ourselves facing a group of dragons while my single remaining abuser slips himself over the edge of our home thinking he would be rid of us that easily... Only to find them slipping right over the edge after him instead of continuing to stare us down... And it takes only that moment to let us know that they are on our side... Whoever they happen to be... No friend of Shen would send fire after him when joining him in fleeing... And fleeing they are not...
They follow Shen with such haste that I almost lose sight of them while I urge Emrys forward, his the wings of his dragon so large that I almost worry that he will not sense or feel me and the slight adjustments I make to his course, but as always, my husband is sensitive in all matters involving me... And he has no problem following my lead... Every touch I give to his leathery wing paid enough attention to let me know that while he is bringing the force of his flames to this battle that he is relying on my swift calmness to manage us while in the air...
It may be a big responsibility... And a hard one considering that my eyes keep being drawn downward to the destruction of our home and the littering of bodies that not so long ago hosted the souls of people who had joined us today thinking that they were going to drink and be merry with us to celebrate our union... Instead, they had been delivered unto death before the party had truly even started...
I want to mourn them... I want nothing more than to try and express the guilt I feel over having them here in the first place when I knew that Xiang was unstable... When in my gut I felt as though we should not be celebrating with a madman on the loose when we knew we were his targets... I feel responsible... And I know... I know that Emrys will likely feel the same that I do... That we failed to protect them... But we cannot stop... We cannot let Shen Hirai escape this place for there is no guarantee that the man will ever actually rest until he has visited even more harm upon my head to avenge the lives in his family that were lost over his family's assault on my person... If he escapes I know I shall never be able to fully trust anyone other than my husband and close relatives for I shall be constantly needing to watch over my shoulder for poison or assassinations by the man himself...
So I try not to let myself focus on the bodies below us, and instead focus on the task at hand... Guiding my husband to a victory against the man who saw fit to assault me when I had been my husband's treasured guest and even after he had already shown such interest in me... They should have left me well enough alone and by now surely Shen should know this... Just as he should know with Xiang gone unless he is ready to lose his life he needs to try and make as hasty as an exit as he can... Which he is attempting to do now... And failing at.
Somehow... The dragons that were battling him up on the rooftop of the palace seem unready to let him escape, all of them throwing bolt after bolt of angry yellow flame, the colors of which burn so very close to the blinding whiteness that consumes everything when royal flame is thrown... And it is so very clear to me that they only do so because they feel enraged... And I wonder if the reason they feel enraged is because their own personal safety was threatened... Or if they each have a loved one somewhere on the ground laying battered and burned that had moved them so far past their inner-peace that they had lost sense in themselves and found it fit to take on a dishonored branch family beast...
It is a feat of bravery comparable to me throwing myself at Xiang in an effort to protect my husband and my people, they do their best to keep up with him as he makes his way towards the mountains, one of them trailing behind so that they might make sure that we can follow them, Emrys having to pace himself to a speed that I can manage until I realize that me being managed is not what is supposed to be happening at the moment... We need Hirai to perish... And we need it done quickly... I know that I am faster than my husband based off of size alone... I could reach Hirai in a matter of moments on my own... I just need the man to exhaust himself just a little more by dodging the attacks of his other aggressors so that I might make the move I know I need to.
...
Emrys
...
It takes all that I have to save the heat flowing in my belly for bringing down the wayward Hirai, whether it be in the air, or reducing him to ash after letting his other pursuers have their way with him, whether they beat the man or simply take his life no longer any concern of mine... Just as long as he is burned so that I know he shall never find his way into our lives again... So as much as I would like to let my beast light the world on fire over the anger I feel... The anger I feel over the unnecessary loss of life below us... The anger I feel over our celebration being interrupted... The anger I feel over my father ordering the Hirai's to make sure that Rayne was beaten so badly that he had truly faced the thought of having to live the rest of his life partially blinded and afraid of every touch that isn't mine... The fact that my Queen was so disrespected that he had been left terrified to even leave our bedchambers on his own or stray more than a few feet from my side...
The anger I feel over being so tired... And so fed up with this life that if Rayne were to ask me to take him somewhere into the mountains so that we might live the rest of our lives at peace and alone... I would not deny him that...
I understand now why my father stared so longingly at the range that surrounds our home... I know understand the longing to have any other life than this one... Any other life so that I might not feel as useless as I do right now.