Chapter Nine
"Accepting my flaws"
'Can't pop out when I want wit' her, she popular'
— Future
« Amir »
Missed Call:+1(678)-739-6496
+1(678)-739-6496: I guess u not gone answer the phone for me. Watch ur back bcuz my brother and dem not gone let that shit ride. Anyway, the doctor said I had a chemical pregnancy which means I'm not actually pregnant. I guess this means it off the hook. I still wanna talk about us tho, hit me back 5:48 p.m.
A big ass grin spread across my face as I read that shit. Not the last part 'cause this hoe delusional but I'm not gon' lie, I was shittin' bricks at the idea of her bein' pregnant wit' my seed.
Of course if it was mine, I woulda' took care of my responsibilities like a man but nevermind all that, I'm not even sure I was her baby's dad to begin with. We didn't get around to doing the blood test and Yaya wasn't exactly a Virgin Mary.
"What the fuck you smiling at?" Shi asks, snapping me out of my thoughts as we came to a stop a red light. "You and ole girl must be havin' a boy?"
"Shut up nigga." I shoot back, handing him my phone so he could read the message his self.
"Ah shit, You lucky mu'fucka." He chuckled, smiling from ear to ear. "Leave it to you to get outta' some shit like that. How do it feel to be Allah's favorite?"
"Sensational."
"You gotta' double bag ya' Johnson if you gon' be fuckin' on bitches from the Eastside. Them hoes don't abort."
"I appreciate the advice but I'm done wit' that shit, besides I'm cool where I'm at now." I tell him as a grab a blunt from the center console and spark it up.
"What you mean? Wit' Kauner?" He questions me, glancing over in my direction. "You really in love huh mu'fucka?"
"Ion' know what I am dawg." I chuckle, smiling from ear to ear as I pass him the blunt. "I fuck wit' her though, she ain't nothin' like them other hoes. She different. But we ain't gotta' get into all that, wassup wit'chu and her girl?"
"Oh Milan? Shit She straight G, but we just coolin' it right now. I ain't really lookin' for no relationship, you know that ain't never been me anyway. That's all you lover boy." He shrugs, blowing out a thick cloud of smoke.
"You really tellin' me that you would rather have a hundred hoes than one woman who don't want shit from you but ya' heart?"
"You used to be big pimpin, what happened to you? Grandma and Grandpa really did a number on you huh?" Shi joked, damn near choking on smoke as he pulled up to the guard shack outside of the upscale townhouse community my mom lived in. Which was located in Marietta.
"Nah some shit just get old bruh. It's more to life than gettin' pussy, I'm just tryna' duck off wit' my lil' junt and build somethin."
"You always had ya' head on straight when it came to this life shit. Some of us just out here tryna' figure it out. Ya' know?" He passed me the blunt back as he dipped in and out of traffic in his Lambo truck. "I prolly' want everything you want, no bullshit. I just gotta' want it on my own time."
"Yeah yeah I hear ya." I tell him.
A couple of minutes Shi was pulling into the driveway of my ma's crib. I waited for him to kill the engine before hopping out and walking up the stairs to the front door.
"Ma what I tell you 'bout leavin' your door unlocked like you live in Beverly Hills?" I call out as I step inside. Instantly being hit with the smell of soul food.
"Please! Let a nigga walk up in here if he want to, I got somethin' for his ass!" She chuckles, throwing the dish towel over her shoulder as she comes out of the kitchen to greet us. "How are my boys doing today?"
"We good Auntie Zee, how you doin?" Shi pulls her into a side hug and kisses her on the cheek.
"I'm good boo, even better now that y'all are here. Especially you stranger.." She says, turning her attention towards me.
"What you mean?" I chuckle, pulling my ma into a tight embrace. "I call you everyday, don't I?"
"That's not the point, I haven't seen you in almost a month of Fridays. Allah only knows that I would like to actually lay eyes on you once in a while."
Every Friday after Ma dukes would visit the mosque, she would cook a family dinner for the three of us. It's the same tradition that her and Shi's mom Aatifa had with our grandparents and our grandparents had with us.
It shouldn't come as a shock that I brought ma with us when we left Memphis. We had already spent 17 years apart, I wasn't taking anymore of our time together for granted.
Besides, she had promised her big sister that she would look after Shi and one thing Ma dukes didn't play with was her honor.
"I been caught up wit' business ma, you know how it is." I explain to her. "Forgive me?"
"More like he been caught up in some pu—.."
"Watch your mouth Asshir." Ma dukes cuts Shi off by slapping him upside the head before he could even say what he was about to. "You know better than to be talking that mess in front of me."
"My apology. You know I ain't mean no disrespect Auntie." He apologizes with a light chuckle. "But I'm just sayin' your boy is in love. Tell her Scar."
"It's nothin' ma." I tell her, highkey downplaying my friendship wit' Kauner. "Don't listen to this nigga."
"Amir please, I always could see through that lil' nonchalant act of yours." She tilts her head to the side, raising her eyebrows at me. "I get it, you don't want your mama in your business."
"Ma chill, it ain't like that. We still tryna' figure out what we doin. That's all." I assure her before turning my attention to Shi who was already seating his self at the dining table. "You talk too much mu'fucka."
"Boy you watch your mouth too!" My ma snaps her fingers at me. "Both of y'all go wash your hands and help me bring the food out so we can eat."
▴ ▴ ▴
"Y'all mu'fuckas forgot my birthday or somethin?" Khalil sucks his teeth as he enters the vehicle warehouse behind the dealership. "I been callin' both of y'all niggas all day."
"Ain't nobody forget yo' mu'fuckin birthday. You ain't call me bitch." Shi tells him, pulling his phone outta' his pocket to check his call log. "Besides, it's Friday nigga. You know where the fuck we was at."
"Man I just know y'all niggas ain't push up at Zoya house without me!" Khalil questions, referring to my ma by her first name. "Dawg ya' mama is the only one that can cook like ya' granny, I know that shit was bussin."
"It was. Now shut ya' hungry ass up and open ya' gift." I said, grabbing the green Audemar's Piguet case off of the chair next to me and tossing it to him. "Happy birthday nigga."
"Ahhh shit!" He chuckles, cheesing like a mu'fucka as he moved over to the table. Sitting the case down and opening it. His eyes lit up like a fat kid who was about to eat some chocolate cake. "GODDAMN you iced this mu'fucka out."
"That's from me and Shi. And as for the diamonds that was all Wafi." I shrug, referring to my jeweler.
"Plus we got'chu somethin' else too." Shi smirked, reach under the table and grabbing his black Louis Vuitton duffle before tossing it at Khalil's feet. "Fifty racks for twenty-five trips around the sun. May Allah continue to bless you brudda."
Just as Khalil kneeled down to pick up the bag, my phone vibrated against the flimsy ass card table we bought from Walmart. Picking up my phone and unlocking it, I saw that it was a text from our lawyer Sean.
Sean Lawrence: They accepted the offer, I'll call you with the details tomorrow. 7:39 p.m.
Sliding my phone across the table, I leaned back in my chair and massaged my goatee. I tried to fathom how much money our business was about to bring in. We're used to seeing about two or three million in profit after we re-up and even then we still got bills and other businesses that the money went to. This is a whole new level. How did a few young niggas from south Memphis make this shit happen?
"Am I reading this shit correct?" Shi asks aloud, looking back and forth between me and Khalil in disbelief.
"Looks like we just got another reason to celebrate tonight." Khalil nods his head before throwing a stack of twenty's in the air and letting them rain down all over the three of us. "To the top of the food chain we go."
« Kauner »
"Where are you going dressed like that? It's late."
"I'm meeting Amir for drinks." I said, halfway telling the truth as I sat in front of the vanity station getting ready. "Milan and Ky are coming too."
I was currently on FaceTime with my mom, despite the fact that it was 5 o'clock in the morning in Italy. She said she couldn't sleep but I knew that was just another one of her excuses so that she could call and bug me half to death.
It's been a few days since the break-in at my house and my whole family is on edge about it. Meanwhile I've been trying to convince them that I'm good. For the most part I've been staying with Amir but I don't want him to feel like I'm invading his personal space so I've been back and forth honestly.
"I like him, I think he's good for you." She says, taking a sip of tea she had just made. "You're smiling a lot more too."
"Mommy you know I value your opinion, on anything but my relationships." I chuckle, admiring how well these tape-ins blended with my natural hair. Milan did her thing, I might not ever go back to wearing frontals. "You said the same thing about Sincere and look how that turned out."
"No, Sincere talked a good game and showed us a side of his self that he thought we'd like. That's what that was." She retorts in a slightly dismissive tone. "Your lack of good judgment is the reason you were still around when that situation got as messy as it did."
"My lack of good judgement? What are you talking about?"
"Yes, your lack of good judgement. Your father and I invested over a million dollars into your education sweetheart. You got accepted into one of the top HBCU's in the country to study anything you wanted and you threw it away for what? To be a trophy wife?"
"Not you been holding that in for over a year.." I wave her off, applying a fresh coat of lip volumizer lip gloss from La Mer. "And who said I wanted to be a trophy wife? Girlll."
I don't know if it's clear or not, but I don't give a fuck what nobody thinks about me. I swear to God I don't. I'm only twenty-two years old and I'm really having my way with this life shit. Without a college degree at that so all that shit my mom was talking was going in one ear and out the other.
"Look I don't want you to feel like I'm attacking you, I'm just saying look what happens when you center your life around a boy. Nothing good ever comes from that, you know?"
"Yeah I hear you." I shook my head, just as my phone vibrated and a text from Milan appeared at the top of the screen.
Milly Mil 💕: Outside bitch. 11:32 p.m.
"Yeah?" My mom questions me with an authoritative tone.
"Yes ma'am." I correct myself, grabbing my phone. "I gotta' go, Milan's here. I'll talk to you later."
"Okay, I'll talk to you later. I love you."
"I love you too." I told her before ending our call and texting Milan back.
Me: Cominggggg. 11:33 p.m.
Getting up from my chair, I rubbed my hands down the sides of petite frame. Damn I look the fuck good! I was wearing a black Chrome Hearts logo tank top, red Garbadine trousers from Prada and a pair of Jane 100 sandals by Jimmy Choo x Off White.
A bitch couldn't tell me shit.
Turning off all the lights in my room, I grabbed my white Dior saddle bag along with my phone before heading downstairs. Although security is 24/7 and it was impossible for anyone to get into the Wright compound, I still locked the door and set the alarm from my phone.
"Look at my motherfucking sis! Please don't play with her! EVER!" Kyran yells, rolling down his window and recording me as I walked up to Milan's silver BMW X6. "She is not one of them! Tell 'em sis!"
"They know what the fuck going on! Atlanta shit!" I say matter of factly as I open the back door and climb in the backseat, making myself comfortable on the peanut butter colored leather seats.
"Y'all are so ghetto!" Milan chuckles, glancing over her shoulder to look at me. "If you couldn't tell, your boy already started pregaming."
My bitch was looking good! She was rocking a long sleeve white Marine Serre top with the black leggings and a high-waisted pleated miniskirt to match. I couldn't really tell because she was sitting down but I just know her ass is going to be spilling out of that skirt once we hit the scene. Milan was thicker than a bowl of cold oatmeal.
"I sure the fuck did!" Ky laughs, reaching under his seat and pulling out a bottle of Casamigos Blanco. "Here bitch, take a shot."
"Y'all don't have no cups?" I ask, turning on the light and looking around in the backseat.
"Girl drink off that damn bottle, I haven't sucked dick in months! I promise." He assures me, raising his right hand to God. "I should be worried about y'all bitches to tell the motherfucking truth!"
"Oh baby you are L-I-T!" I said, me and Milan both laughing at his house. "You need to go home and lay your ass down."
"Girl no the fuck I don't, take me to the club so I can see Khalil's fine ass." He slurs. "It's his birthday too, I'm tryna lick cream cheese icing off of h—.."
"ALRIGHT bitch! Sit your ass down so we can go." Milan cuts him off, trying her best not to laugh at Kyran's crazy ass antics.
Milan didn't leave until Kyran got settled back into his seat and put his seat belt on. His ass was knocked out after the first five minutes of us driving. I sat in the backseat making boomerangs and a few videos for my IG story as Milan whipped through the streets of Atlanta blasting Lick Back by EST Gee.
Just as we pulled up and hopped out, I got a text from Amir.
AB: wya 12:04 a.m.
Me: Just pulled up. coming in rn. 12:04 a.m.
AB: Bet. I'm waiting on u 12:05 a.m.
I loved the message before locking my screen and dropping my phone down inside my bag. On the other side of the car, Milan was helping Kyran's drunk ass get out.
"Where are we?" He asks, falling against the car after a failed attempt at standing up on his own. "Oh shit, we at the motherfucking club!"
"Come on, don't you wanna go see Khalil?" I ask him, motioning for him to follow me to the entrance of Allure Gentleman's Club. "He's inside."
"Bitch I'm not that drunk! I was just playing about what I wanted to do to that damn boy." He chuckles, rolling his eyes as he pushed his self off of the car and started stumbling towards me. "I need a drink!"
"Oh no you don't!" Milan chimes in.
The line to get in was long as hell but I don't wait in line to get in nobody's club. We were cool with the bouncer so he let us in, I could hear the aggravated groans from all the bitches who were still waiting for their turn to get in. Oh well, do not be mad at motherfucking me.
The club was packed but not to the point where we couldn't navigate our way through the crowd. Ky wanted another drink but I convinced him to wait until we found the boys' section, not like that was hard. They were the ones throwing the most money. You couldn't even see the floor, it was like walking through a shallow puddle of water.
Butterflies swarmed my stomach as I laid eyes on my man. He was sitting on the black leather couch smoking and throwing money at the naked girl dancing on the pole in front of him. He took the blunt away from his lips when he laid eyes on me and he was all smiles.
They had a couple of other niggas that we're in their section as well but I had never seen them before. The only people I recognized were Khalil and Shi but they were too busy turning up to even notice us.
"I'm glad you made it out!" Amir yells in my ear, over the sound of the loud music playing in the club. He was nursing a cup of brown liquor but he used his free hand and wrapped it around my tiny waist, pulling my body up against his. "You lookin' beautiful as always."
He was wearing his signature Baccarat Rouge cologne and the smell of Hennessy laced with spearmint gum was lingering from his mouth to mine. A cold chill ran down my back as because I just know I'm going to pound town after we leave this club.
"You drinking?!" I ask, with my eyebrows furrowed. Amir told me before that he only liked to drink on rare occasions, he's very picky about what he puts into his body. The only thing I've ever seen this nigga drink is water.
"Yeah, I ain't sure it's a good idea right about now." He licks his lip, putting the rim of the cup up to my mouth. "Taste it."
I drunk a little bit of Casamigos on the way over here and I didn't really wanna' mix light and dark liquor but I still took a sip for the hell of it. I could tell by the way he was staring at me that Amir was either drunk as fuck or almost there.
"I heard what you said. Why is it not a good idea that you're drinking?" I ask him in his ear.
"I'm liable to tell you how I really feel about'chu. Call it liquid courage I guess."
"And how do you feel about me?"
"I think I love you." He chuckles, whispering in my ear and tracing his tongue around it afterwards.
"You think or you know?" I pressed him further, trying my best to keep my poker face on. When I was jumping and down like a schoolgirl on the inside.
He just smiled at me, before he could respond Khalil's drunk ass rolled up on us. I hadn't spoken to him since our little encounter in Miami so I eased right on out the way and let have Amir's attention.
"Wassup shawty." He yells, maneuvering his head around Amir so that we were looking at each other. "Preciate'chu for popping out for a real nigga birthday."
"You're welcome." I say dryly, knowing good and damn well the only reason I "popped out" was for Amir and Amir only.
"I know you not still mad at me about that Miami situation. Look I apologize, sometimes Ion' know how to hold my alcohol and that's my fault. If you gon' be wit' my brudda' I atleast want us to be cool wit' each other. Can I have a hug?"
I looked at Amir and he looked at me and just shrugged. As if he was telling me it was up to me.
"No." I said while extending my hand to shake his. He's lucky he's getting that.
"It's a start." He said with a smile, shaking my hand.
When he left to go back to his seat I pulled some hand sanitizer out of my bag. Amir busted out laughing but I was deadass, Khalil was all sweaty and shit.
About forty-five minutes had passed and I was fucking lit. I was sipping on 1942, sitting on my man's lap blowing through stacks of ones to throw at the dancers. Milan was doing the same with Shi but every couple of minutes they would start making out with each other. Kyran was on the other side of the section drinking some more and throwing money with Khalil and those other niggas. I just know he's going to have a mean ass hangover in the morning.
Out of the corner of my right eye I could see something going down but it wasn't until I pushed my oversized Dior shades on top of my head that I saw Amir's security guard Vic fighting to keep some girl from entering the section. I tapped Amir on his leg and nodded my head in the direction.
He mumbled a string of curse words under his breath before telling me to get up for a sec. I did as he said and I watched him walk over there to see what the problem was. The girl instantly calmed down in Amir's presence. I wonder who she was. She was gorgeous from what I could see. She reminded me of a Barbie doll with smooth chocolate skin.
She was getting riled up again, this time she was directing her energy towards Amir. Whatever she was saying she was going the fuck off, putting her hands in his face and everything. He was arguing back to her too. It was more than obvious to anybody with eyes that they had something going on at one point or another.
But if that was in the past why would she be acting like this right now? It's never giving as long as he knows where home is over here so I'ma go see for myself.
"Bro take yo' ass on somewhere, we ain't got shit goin' on shawty. You mental or something? Take yo' stupid ass on and stop followin' me, this shit gettin' real weird junt." I walked up just in time hear Amir chomping her ass off. He was pissed.
"Don't I know you?" She asks, turning away from Amir and focusing her attention on me.
"Nah." I shook my head, knowing that she probably recognized from me Instagram or something.
"Wait a minute, is this bitch the reason why you wasn't fucking wit' me when you came back from Miami? That's why you ain't wanna' have our baby? BECAUSE OF HER?" She chuckles psychotically, questioning Amir.
"Who are you calling a bitch?" I tilt my head to the side, in literal confusion. Putting the baby comment on the back burner for a second.
"You. You wanna' fight?"
"Shit what's up?" I shrug, attempting to walk towards her but Amir put his hand out to stop me. "And why the fuck you didn't tell me you had a baby on the way?! AFTER I TOLD YOU AB—.."
"I DON'T, a'ight? Relax. This bitch probably wasn't never even pregnant." He barked at me.
"Yaya why you still talking to this lame ass nigga?" This one nigga asks the girl as he seemingly popped up out of nowhere with a couple of other ugly niggas.
He had a black eye and a faded scab on his lip. Somebody had fucked him up.
"Branden I don't need you to fight my battles for me, I got this." She defends herself against him.
"Walk away from me patna' before I bless that other eye." Amir spoke up, getting both of their attention.
"I got somethin' for you homie." Branden smiles wickedly, lifting his shirt and showing off his 9mm pistol.
"I ain't hard to find mu'fucka." Amir shrugs nonchalantly, as if he wasn't phased one bit.
Branden grabbed Yaya and turned to walk away from our section but I wasn't about to let that bitch get off that easily after the way she just talked to me. Just to clarify, I wasn't doing what I did because I was fighting for a nigga, I did what I did because I'm not letting no hoe play in my face about my respect.
I grabbed the clear plastic cup filled with alcohol and threw that shit at the back of her head. It hit her ass like a brick and wet her up before it fell to the ground. She came charging back towards me and unfortunately Amir and Vic were between us but I still caught her fist and pulled her into the section.
She landed with a loud thud and I just started punching her in the face. My fist connected with her jaw, her nose and her forehead in about five seconds. The only thing I remember is telling her not to ever play with my name again before shots rung out in the club. I saw Amir pull his glock out and shoot back but I fell to the floor and crawled behind the couch. Milan was right behind me.
I squeezed my eyes shut and prayed to God to get me out of this situation.
It seemed like they were shooting forever, when it finally stopped I could still hear people screaming frantically and running around the club. I was scared to look. I couldn't look.
"Y'all good?" Shi asks me and Milan, running behind the couch with his gun in his hand too. "A'ight good, come on we gotta' get the fuck outta' here."
"Where's A-Amir?" I stuttered, scared to know the answer. Hoping that if something actually was wrong Shi would be actually showing emotion and not being this cold.
My knees felt weak as I stood up to my feet. I looked around the club and it was damn near empty, the crowd was still pouring out the front door. I saw the girl Yaya laying in front of the couch with a bullet wound right in the middle of her forehead. Branden was a few feet away from the section laying in his own pool of blood.
And Amir was next to Khalil, who was on the floor twitching and shuddering. His white Gucci shirt was now blood stained. Amir told us to go now but he stayed there with Khalil, he even told Kyran to get up from the spot he was sitting in to go with us. He did it but he raised up real slow before hurrying over to us before Shi led us to the back door exit.
What the fuck just happened?