20th June 2017
Eloise never imagined she'd be mulling over her favourite motorway; but, hey, here she is.
Trying to avoid the hypnotising glare of the headlights streaming past in the opposite carriageway, she's actively following her meandering thoughts in a bid to stay alert.
Before Harry, she could count the number of times she'd been up the M40 on one hand. It's Oxford University territory, and as a Cambridge graduate she bleeds light blue, not dark blue.
She's not sure she'd ever even been on the M6 before him. Now she's lost count, and genuinely wonders if she could navigate it with her eyes shut.
As she reverses their last trip up from just three days ago - when they'd landed at Gatwick, grabbed some things at the house in Hampstead, then jumped straight in her car to head north - she'll readily admit that she prefers the journey when she's with him, or at least heading towards him.
Her heart ached driving away from him earlier this evening, especially in that state. She feels like she's abandoning him; all of them.
But he wouldn't have it and insisted she couldn't sack it off.
They're premiering Baby Driver in Europe first to hit some film festival deadlines, but are off to LA and then Sydney within the next couple of weeks. But first up is London, tomorrow.
It still doesn't all quite feel real just yet, but her hometown premiere of her first movie might just do the trick.
Harry is so disappointed he won't be there, but he can't leave - not yet - and admitted he couldn't bear the thought of facing a prying journalist right now. Completely understandable.
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When she pulls up at the house in Hampstead just after 10pm, she looks around glumly, hating the dark and oppressive silence.
She heads straight up to bed, calling him to check in as she wraps her arms around his pillow.
He hasn't slept on it for a couple of weeks now, but if she tries hard enough, she can just about smell the last traces of his cologne and shampoo.
She'll take whatever she can get.
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21st June 2017
Funnily enough, she's spent all day now missing the peace and quiet of the house last night.
It's been a whirlwind. A fitting to check the final alterations on her dress for tonight; then prep, hair and make-up; filming a couple of interviews with Ansel; then more time in the hair and make-up chair in the hotel suite.
Her car had left the Sanderson Hotel only to crawl through rush hour traffic for the short journey to Leicester Square, ready to hit the carpet at 5.30pm.
For the peace and quiet, and the air conditioning, she'd happily sit in here for hours.
Checking her lipstick in the rearview mirror, she's not sure why they'd spent so long perfecting her dewy make up. In this heat she's certainly glowing anyway.
She scoffs hearing the DJ on the radio report that it's officially the hottest day recorded in London in forty years. No shit?
It's just her luck that she needs to be groomed to within an inch of her life and looking flawless in the middle of a heatwave with the mercury hitting a sweltering thirty-five degrees in the centre of London.
She wishes she'd had her hair pinned up, not freshly trimmed and curled to bounce around her collar bones.
Trying to avoid wiping her sweaty palms on her blue Burberry gown, the leather seats of the Mercedes aren't doing much to help.
The dress is jazzed up with beaded embellishment, a thigh-high split and black ribbon straps trailing all the way down her back to the hemline. She'd snorted a laugh when the stylist told her the dusky blue hue was called 'Carolina blue'. Apparently, it makes the blue of her eyes really pop.
Pinching herself, she checks her mood, needing to shake it off. She's in a designer gown, after a day of pampering, in a chauffeur-driven car, heading to her first premiere.
She can't complain about her phone companion either. Finally alone and out of earshot of an ever-gossipy glam crew, she'd FaceTimed Harry as soon as she got in the car, just to check in.
He's grateful for the distraction, but far more interested in her than in opening up about his feelings again.
She feels overdressed in this heat. "Is it too much? Too booby?", she fusses.
"You're really asking me that?", he smirks with an eyebrow raised. "Stop stressing! You look incredible, baby... I'm so sorry I can't be there, but we've got the Sky Entertainment News channel on already; we'll be watching... Blow me a kiss?".
As the car slows as it pulls into Leicester Square and she eyes the scale of the madness, he continues trying to keep her calm with gentle words and a soothing tone.
She's been to plenty of big events before. Hell, she'd seen the pandemonium of the boys' This Is Us premiere first hand at this very cinema a few years ago, supporting Ben. But it hits a little differently when it's her project, and she has to walk that long, long carpet solo.
That she hangs up with a string of curses, "Fuck, fuck, fucketty fuck, arrrgh... Love you, byeee", suggests he wasn't massively successful in allaying her nerves. But, in doing so, she does manage to pull the first chuckle from him in a few days. She'll take it.
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Stepping demurely from the Mercedes as her name is announced over the sound system, she has to resist the impulse to want to shrink away from all the attention.
Fittingly, given its importance to the film, music is blaring around the Square and the energy high. The carpet is a bold pink, and, oh, there's her face, gracing a massive poster alongside those of her cast mates.
It's so busy. Excited fans call and shout from behind barriers; journalists and their film crews line the red carpet; and there's a bank of photographers near the entrance to the cinema.
Taken aback when some girls wave and shout her name, the publicist that quickly sidled up to her confirms she has time and leads her over.
A few ask her to sign the movie poster. One hands her a blank piece of paper then promptly unfurls it, whooping with delight as she reveals a photo of Harry. Eloise has to admire her cunning. "Cute pic!", she winks.
Laughing obligingly, she signs a few more photos of him, thanking them all for their support. When one holds out Harry's vinyl record sleeve, she asks which is her favourite song. "Literally all of them... Don't make me choose!", Eloise grins.
The publicist tugs her away and she apologises to the fans she didn't quite get to.
>
Ushered quickly to the top of the press line, it's time to turn on the schmooze for the video and radio interviews.
She can't shake the feeling that this is all just a bit silly, frivolous and hollow. Sweet fans are one thing, but she'll need to give the performance of her life to hide the fact she'd really just rather be wrapped up in Harry's arms right now.
So she gives it her all, gushing about the amazing experience of shooting her first film and blowing smoke up the arses of her cast mates. She praises Edgar Wright, the writer and director, and talks about his use of music and choice of amazing tracks.
When asked about her favourite song from the soundtrack, her smile in genuine. "Oh, great question! There are so many... I should really say B-A-B-Y by Carla Thomas, but, I've always really loved Know How by Young MC", she admits.
As the flirty Sky interviewer barks a laugh of surprise and raps a fast verse, he's surprised when she joins in. "Well that was genuinely impressive! You must have pretty eclectic taste in music?".
She just shrugs a laugh and blows a cheeky kiss to the camera. Especially for her baby.
>
She jumps, feeling arms wrap around her from behind. It's Ansel, gatecrashing her interview.
Turning to hug him, she clocks her parents, Ollie and Lucas out the corner of her eye, loitering by the entrance to the cinema with her agent, Charles.
When they see her spot them, they shout and point their cameras almost as eagerly as the rabid bank of photographers alongside them.
They and Ansel totally throw off her train of thought... Where was she? Oh, right, the interviewer was starting to probe about Harry. Fuck.
However, the distraction works, and Ansel smoothly redirects the conversation.
>
She wishes he could have stuck with her for the rest. Fairly sure it's not just the heat, she's left discretely swiping at the sweat she can feel forming at her temple when the last few journalists start grilling her on camera, broaching the subject of Harry.
They must hear each other and have some professional pact to up the ante and make her squirm. She's vague and deploying her best noncommittal responses, but they push hard.
The penultimate guy isn't messing around. "So where's Harry then? Isn't he here to support you tonight? We thought you were close?" .
"Well, yes, he's a wonderful friend; but sadly he couldn't make it... Busy man, that one", she smiles softly.
"Right!", he nods hammily. "And you're that close to all your 'friends' are you?", he sasses skeptically, adding "So, set the record straight: are congratulations in order?".
"Only for the film, I swear!", she scoffs with a shake of her head, stepping pointedly away.
The final interviewer, with a Sky News microphone, isn't as meek as she looks. "Now, we've seen photos of you with Harry and his family, and know you're close... Can you tell us how they're holding up right now?", she asks with a look of faux concern.
It blindsides Eloise. She would never address that question, on principle, and can't believe she even had the gall to ask it. She'd heard Harry on the phone to Jeff the other day, talking about whether they would need to put out a statement, but didn't realise the news had already broken.
Willing herself not to well up, she gapes at her in disbelief before setting her jaw. Shaking her head, she turns towards the film's publicist; she's done.
As if it had to be that crew? He said he'd be watching Sky. Fuck.
>
Eloise is relieved to be swiftly ushered away, to the top of the carpet where her cast mates are gathering for the photo call.
Ansel, with Kevin Spacey, Jamie Foxx, Jon Hamm and Eiza González, plus Edgar Wright. She can't help but still feel a little star stuck around them all, given so much of her time on set had just been with Ansel.
She has to swallow the lump in her throat when Jon leans close, peering down at her perceptively. "You okay, kiddo? Bit overwhelmed?". He has no idea.
He slings a meaty arm across her shoulders and pulls her into the middle of the line up.
She can't help but grimace at feeling his body heat; but she won't complain, eyeing him and other guys sweating in their suits and ties.
God, it's sweltering.
>
After Eloise poses for some photos alone, and then sandwiched between Ollie and Lucas and then with her parents too, they all head swiftly into the chilled cinema foyer.
But while they all fall on alcoholic drinks from the free bar, Eloise opts for an ice cold bottle of water. She's just not feeling it, despite Charles trying to convince her otherwise.
As they hang around and she introduces them all to Ansel and Jon, her brothers proudly post photos of her on her big day to their social media accounts and tag her public profile.
Their phones soon blow up with congratulatory comments from their friends, teammates and fans. But it's not long until a few of Harry's so-called fans pounce and start flooding the posts with comments; about what him not being there means for their rumoured relationship, and what her choosing a glitzy industry event over supporting him and his family at home says about their relationship and about her.
Ollie and Lucas agree not to mention it and both switch off their phones to resist the urge to reply and put them in their place.
>
Eloise had seen the final cut, but through the Dolby cinema speakers, the mix and pounding bass of the initial heist scene reverberates straight through her. And it's not just her taken with it; she clocks many a head around the cinema bopping as Ansel smoothly struts and dances through downtown Atlanta in the opening titles, scored to Harlem Shuffle.
She's still weirded out watching herself on screen, so cuts her eyes instead to gauge the reactions of her proud parents and brothers.
All in all, it's a pretty overwhelming day, especially given her emotions had already been riding so high.
Unsurprisingly, she skips the afterparties and heads home.
>
Stepping out of her heels and quickly stripping off to drape her gown over the back of a dining room chair, looking around the quiet house, Eloise quickly came to her senses.
After running upstairs for a quick shower and to grab her things, she was heading back towards her new favourite motorways within thirty minutes.
Now, just after 1am, she lets herself in quietly with the spare key.
When she slides carefully into bed behind him, he doesn't fully stir, but drops his arm over hers where it rests tightly over his waist, finding comfort at last in their close contact.
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29th June 2017
After a tough and draining few days, they return to London via Wembley Stadium for something pretty special.
Her best friend, doing her thing in front of 100,000 people at the last stop of her all-conquering world tour.
Eloise couldn't miss it.
Rosie does, but, having given birth to an adorable baby boy just four days ago in LA, she has a pretty damn good excuse.
She repeatedly assured Harry he didn't need to come either, but he insists he's feeling up to it and doesn't want to miss out.
Adele had been travelling extensively for well over twelve months, and Eloise can't wait to hopefully get to start seeing a little more of her best friend. And she's eager to start right now.
They leave the car with the valet at VIP parking and head backstage, straight to Adele's private dressing room, rather than mingling with the other celebrity guests and hangers-on in the green room.
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They wait until Adele is midway through her opening number, Hello, before slipping into the darkened back corner of the VIP box.
Eloise catches up with Adele's family, but otherwise, she and Harry keep to themselves, arms around each other, swaying and singing along gently as they take in the spectacle.
Sometimes, she manages to forget just how phenomenally talented her gobby best friend really is.
From charming the enormous crowd into a cheering frenzy, she's then able to reduce them straight into a stunned silence so revered you could practically hear a pin drop in the huge stadium.
Her set packs an emotional punch anyway, and it doesn't take much to tip Eloise and Harry over the edge.
She dedicates Rumour Has It "...To my most beautiful friend, who deals with endless rumours with more class than I ever could".
I Miss You was written about heartbreak, but it takes on a whole new meaning that has Eloise fretting again that Harry coming was a mistake.
Eloise has always loved her rendition of Bob Dylan's Make Me Feel Your Love most of all, but when Harry, taken with the sentiment and the depth of his feelings for her, pulls her into his arms and croons lowly in her ear, she's completely overcome.
When Adele starts the rapturous encore with All I Ask, Eloise is floored at how one of her very favourite songs - one she knows inside out and back to front - can carry quite such a weightier meaning for her now. It's sentiment mirrors the whispered words and cautious admissions she and Harry have been sharing late into the night, about how precious life really is and what really matters in this bizarre, manufactured world of theirs.
She closes the show with the barn-storming Rolling in the Deep, but they slip out the box half way through to head backstage again.
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They're taken aback when they meet Adele coming off stage, totally inconsolable.
She's had the best part of three months vocal rest in advance of these Wembley shows, but it's not been enough.
You wouldn't know from how she just sounded on stage, but the tour has put her voice under phenomenal strain. She's given an immediate dose of steroids, but her throat doctor isn't hopeful. They'll make the final call in the morning, but it's looking like the show just can't go on. She's at risk of doing irreparable damage if she performs again. She absolutely would if she could, but she's got nothing left to give.
She's devastated at the prospect of letting anyone down. But with an incredible one hundred and twenty one shows under her belt on this tour, absolutely no one can accuse her of that.
But with just two more shows left, it's a bitter pill to swallow.
Eloise tries her very best to console her, locking eyes with Harry as she sobs hoarsely into her neck. "They'll understand. They love you. But health is more important. Always".
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