I took my time returning to the Kings chambers not being sure of what to say to him, when I would see him. As I entered his chambers my insecurity fainted as all I heard was his soft snoring, along with a massive figure who's body was slowly rising and sinking in their bed.
———————————————————
The storm had left the coming day chilly. I awoke early, from a deep but dreamless night. Dressed in a long-sleeved purple dress I creak open the door to the kings chambers. Not wanting to awaken a hungover grumpy King who'd hopefully forgotten about last nights kiss I silently slip through the room. I peer over to the bed expecting the Kings sleeping figure so find it empty.
I wonder why he'd be out of bed so early but shake it off as I start walking along the halls of the castle. I've been seeing these walls for to long.
Intent on finding the royal gardens I slender around, when I stumble upon a young royal servant girl. She directed me towards the gardens and soon I was finally outside. The garden where I'd been before with Theodore.
The smell of flowers filled the air and I enjoy the early rays of dusk. The damp grass was soaking my shoes but I couldn't care less. In fact I liked that feeling. It made me feel free. I stop by a bush of white roses. Mother had always liked them dearly. I took ones petals in between my fingers and stroked it gently. Memories of last nights kiss flooded my mind, giving me a warm, happy feeling. I gently stroke my bottom lip with my index finger. Snap out of it Alice!
I lean in to smell one of the roses when a loud clinking and clanking comes my way. It was two fully armored knights rushing towards me.
"Lady Alice!" They seem out of breath when they finally reach me.
"Yes?"
"You must follow us immediately! Direct orders by the King."
"Ok, uh, sure." They wait for me to start walking and then urge me to hurry.
"What's the hurry?" I ask alarmed.
"He wishes to see you immediately."
It sounds like the King is mad but I haven't done anything. It's not like I tried to run away from him or hurt him in any way. I feel like a child again being called to my parents when I'd broken something.
Getting more nervous by the second I realize I'm being brought straight to the throne room. I concentrate on figuring out if I've done anything to anger the King but come to no conclusion. And there he sat, in all his might, with his crown toping his hair like it was made for him and only him to wear. As per usual he sits on his massive throne up some stairs, looking over the throne room, looking down on everyone, because all of this was his. These clothes I'm wearing, are his, these servants are his, this land is his and even these walls are his. I was his too, but in an authoritative, fearful kind of way. I felt it clearly especially now for he looked like he was in a horrible mood.
I was brought to the bottom of the stairs and then everyone besides me and the King hurried out of the throne room. "Good Morning, your highness." I give my best to smile, although it probably looked crooked.
"Where've you been?"
Okay then...
"In the gardens." I'm looking up at him and start fidgeting with my fingers.
"You didn't ask." His eyes look down on me darkly.
"Since when must I ask you for permission?" I ask sheepishly.
"Since I still don't know what you might be up too when I'm not around, I don't want you going anywhere."
"I just needed to get out of my chambers for a bit." I almost regret trying to argue.
"I don't care. If you disobey me I'll have you locked up. You are excused." He commands frivolously.
A spark of pain and anger alight my heart. "Why are you being like this? What have I done to you?" I ask trying not to sound as hurt as I am.
The King sits up in his throne and looks down on me darkly. "Don't you get the wrong idea, Lady Alice. I don't trust you and I never will. You mean nothing to me and as soon as I've figured out what your hiding I'll make you wish I hadn't."
Wide-eyed I look at him. If someone where to ask me to describe the King I'd only speak bad of him, so why did his words feel like daggers to me?
"You're excused," He adds annoyed.
I turn and walk towards the oak doors, a silent gush of tears wetting my cheeks. Tears that he must not be shown, for showing weakness to him, only makes everything worse. That's how well I know him.
———————————————————-
That same evening I was being brought to the dinning hall, in attendance of two knights. I didn't wish to see the King but I doubt I had a choice. He confused me. He was unpredictable. Kind and caring at times, heartless and cruel at others. I feels like someone is tossing a coin to figure out what mood he's in today. Not even I know if I liked or hated him, but then something I once read came to mind.
"Only someone, you care for, is someone who can truly hurt your feelings."
Moments later I'm sitting next to the King, cutting my food but not eating for my hunger had gone and vanished. I don't speak or look at the King. I yearn to leave this room.
"Alice," his authoritarian voice says calmly.
"Yes." I look downwards.
"I'm sorry."
I'm not in the mood for his games, so I proceed to cut my food into even smaller pieces, never once looking up.
"Tsk." The King groans annoyed, going through his hair with his fingers.
"You have no right to be upset with me." He's trying to play the offensive card.
I just want to go back to my room.
"I'm not feeling well. May I be excused?" I plead.
"No."
I sigh deeply and set down my fork and knife.
"Speak," the King commands.
"I have nothing to say, your highness." Numbness fills my voice.
I see the King get up from his chair out off the corner of my eyes. He pulls back my chair suddenly and grips my left arm pulling me up. His grip is tight and uncomfortable, as he then spins me around making me look straight at him, only inches apart once again. "Listen, I know I've said some hurtful things today and I'm sorry, but I won't tolerate your behavior," his grip loosens on my arm. I nod trying not to look him in the eyes. I've got no choice other than to bend under his will. „Look at me, when I speak."
I look up. I feel like a hound being trained.