♦Chapter 36: Wrath♦
What should I do...?!
That phrase kept repeating itself in my mind. It made me think that the more I ponder about it, the further I got confused.
Sweat fell down my face. The stares that were locked on me resembled the happenings that occurred on the same event, in my previous life. My first birthday celebration as a Shevaria back then met an end with no other than this cruel torture.
This became nothing but a farce to make me taste humiliation once more. I felt like I just became a clown in their eyes. And it was very unsettling.
Is there really nothing to solve this?
Just when I had that in mind, different concerns whispered to me.
.......Wait. Solve...?
I remained silent in front of everyone. And without doing a thing except for making a stand, I looked at the grassy ground for a very long time meanwhile I slowly processed my thoughts.
I wonder what I am doing.....
"Haha...", I laughed with a very tiny voice.
And after that short laughter, I recalled the words that I confidently uttered in my thoughts.
'Perhaps, that might've been my pride as a noble.'
That statement made me have a very ironical expression.
It was quite of a farcical thing. My pride as I noble? Is that what I just called it? Moreover, why was I being determined to prevent myself from disgracing the Shevarias?
In just one moment, the malice that was sealed inside me got unleashed for complicated reasons. Maybe that was the result of me, being pressured. At any rate, I couldn't seem to hold it in for any longer apparently.
From the start, my decision must've been wrong. At the very beginning, I thought of that family as a foe so I've made up my mind to just make use of them for my plans and that was supposed to be my only objective. But looking back right now, I acted quite strange. Helping them out as if I was in charge of solving their problems, although I loathed them in many ways were more than strange. It was ridiculous!
I must've made a fool of myself again. I was such a failure!
It felt so enraging. And the one that I despised the most was myself for making decisions like that for no reason, like an idiot.
Ahh....... I'm so pissed right now.
The fact that I gradually became genuine to be in good terms with the Shevaria Family even though I only did it as an act from the very beginning made me want to beat myself up. I didn't want to accept the truth that I lost sight of the things that should and shouldn't be done.
Moreover, did I just wanted to act my part even a little bit as a proof that I was once the Duke's daughter? That was just shameless of me! Either way, it's not like the Duke would even appreciate my hard work since I was nothing to him, at the end of the day!
That family never even accepted me from the bottom of their hearts!
I knew that I have become somewhat like a selfish brat this moment. But there was no choice because I realized how much of an idiot I have become.
I no longer had the motivation to wear a thick mask. And so, I thoroughly showed up my real emotions on the surface.
"I request for everyone to be quiet right now.", I yelled.
Just as I ordered, everyone stayed silent. Some of them looked nervous. Thereafter, I set my gaze at one lady that seemed like attending the party as her child's guardian. Then soon, I pointed my index finger at her.
"You. Go and introduce yourself to me right now.", I said with a straight face and a sense of arrogance.
Not even a second passed until the lady immediately did what I commanded her to do, as she had a cowardly demeanor of a kind.
"I-I am Ellis Montcroix, Lady Sherryl."
"Oh, the Viscountess of House Montcroix?"
"Y-yes."
"So, where did your confidence go, Viscountess?"
The lady's face started to evolve into some kind of emotion that one might call the second phase of cowardice.
Frankly, it has become an amusing sight to see that it tickled my sadism. However, that itself wasn't enough to stop me from venting out my anger. I kind of snapped, after all.
"I-... I cannot interpret what the young lady is trying to say."
I sighed before I could give her a reply.
"...Viscountess, you know what? I don't really dislike many things-", I uttered while I walked toward the Viscountess' direction.
"Except for liars, though.", I continued the moment that I got really close to her range.
The Viscountess chickened out as soon as my words reached her ears. She looked like she was about to break that her eyes slightly became teary because of fear.
"Oh my, oh my. What's wrong Viscountess? We haven't even entered the main discussion yet.~"
This was a perfect example of one of the advantages of a higher social status or back-ups from a comrade that possessed greater power.
Right now, even though I'm just a mere child, I can make this Viscountess kneel before me. Perhaps, I might even be allowed to step on her head. And the reason was no other than the gap between our status and power.
Currently, I am a someone that was (temporarily) a part of the Shevaria Household, which had an extremely close connection to the great Imperial Family. That's why, compared to the woman that I was confronting to right now whose identity was a lowly Viscountess, I was pretty much on the upper-hand.
"Lady Ellis, you see, I have good ears. That's why, please pardon me for overhearing your conversation."
The Viscountess immediately went on her knees and begged for mercy.
"P-please forgive-!"
"But, I wonder what just came out from your mouth? Well... there is no need for me to point it out aloud since you already know what I'm talking about, right?", I cut in her line and replied with a smile, after.