♦Chapter 08: Execution♦
Marriage. It is a long-lasting commitment between a man and a woman. And it could take place either out of love or through political matters that unites two families.
Now that I've mentioned it, I wonder if mom had a happy marriage with her loved one?
With my dad that I've never met for even once.
Even now, I was yet to be aware of my dad's whereabouts nor do I know if he was still alive up to this point.
I remember my mom trying to avoid the topic about that by dodging the bullet. Then, she cheaply ends our conversation while we discuss another topic.
Maybe, it was something complicated. Or perhaps, she didn't want me to get involved by her own business.
But still... there was once a time when she mentioned a little about her situation that was most likely connected to my father.
That day, when a vast field of Violets bloomed...
There, my mom seemed different than her usual self as we make flower crowns in that field.
Her usual warm aura showed less. And at the same time, a portion of her demeanor seemed lonely.
As she stared at the fully bloomed flowers, she phrased,
"Did you know, Lissa?"
"....... Know what?", I asked while turning my head to her direction.
Then, I saw her soft, pinkish-red lips gently smile for me.
"The symbolism of Violets.", she whispered to the me who remained silent.
"Violets, you know..... They are often called as flowers that symbolize modesty, humility, spirituality, and faithfulness. But a certain someone told me that there's more to that..."
"A someone?"
"Yes.", my mom replied, giggling. Then, as she recollected things momentarily, she had a bitter expression.
"True Love.....", she murmured.
".......That person told me... that it also symbolized 'True Love'.", she added while I wondered what she meant.
"Like how I love mom?", I asked.
"Hmm..... That might be correct but not quite, I guess."
"Then, what is it.......?", I pouted, being unable to guess what it truly meant.
Then, my mom smiled at me and replied,
"Someday... when you find your loved one, you'll understand."
My mom might've felt down back then because of her worries. But, I know for sure...
That my mother was happy.
Nevertheless..... I wonder how she would react if she witnessed how I picked the wrong person to represent as the one that I truly love.
Somehow, I feel like I've betrayed her expectations.
I thought... that if I become the Queen Consort, I would encounter my genuine happiness.
But what awaited for me instead?
.......And what did I do to deserve this?
Ah........... I hear audience yelling at me.
Or rather, should I say that they are having fun watching me suffer this way.
Because if I disappear, the other ladies can finally take my place...
With my feet that was full of scars from the blow of the whip that tortured me with the pain, I slowly walked toward the main stage.
My body was getting weaker as I take a step. I felt like my eyes would want to close any sooner.
It hurts....... It stings.............
But all I know was that I deserved this.
Because when the clock pointed at a time during the middle of the night, I tiptoed for the hunger of the blood to shed that moment.
The blood whose possession of the beautiful maiden that lied on her bed.
Her curly golden hair that shone like silk and her slender, pale white skin were as flawless as ever.
And her flawlessness was also what derived my anger.
I pointed my dagger to her chest then embraced myself to see her dead body.
But then...
Like how the rain pour, tears slowly dropped from my eyes.
I had the awareness of it from the start..... that she, Natasha had nothing to do with what I've suffered from.
I made a fool of myself.
I deceived myself as I had an assumption that if she would disappear, then the Emperor would finally look at me.
I was blinded by jealousy.
I was blinded, that I was unconsciously lead to the wrong path.
"I'm so stupid.......!", I whispered to myself.
As I realized my mistake, I despised how I was being a foolish woman. Then, I cried,
"If Natasha dies..... Noah will...!
---Never be able to smile again...
All of it has gone so wrong.
Now I regretted it. The fact that I proposed a contract with the Emperor. And the fact that I picked the wrong opponent...
Thus, I mustered my courage to atone for my sins.
"Natasha.", I called the fair woman's name, waking her up from her deep slumber.
Thereafter, she slowly opened her eyes and revealed her shimmering amber irises.
And noticing the weapon on my hand, her face was either filled with fear and astonishment.
She screamed as I gently smiled at her for she met my expectations.
It was an intentional course of action. Because with this, I can turn in myself.
One mustn't dare to harm a royalty.
From the start, I broke the law...
Hence, I deserved it.
Even still, the traces of the whip that tormented me still stings.
But what completely hurt me this moment-
Was his brute gaze that was full of cruelty, directed toward me.
Ahh....... Noah...
With my physically unstable state, I thoroughly faced him from afar.
His stare was full of hate that I could guess how much he resented me for trying to murder his beloved one.
The fact that he sees me that way made me want to cry. But instead, I ironically smiled at him.
The guillotine's blade carefully rose upwards in preparation for my execution.
And as the rope that pulled the blade got out of one's grasp, I stated my final words while dearly looking at Noah's way with a soft tone.
'I love you', I whispered, closing my eyes as if I accepted my fate.
And just when I thought that I met an eternal rest...
.....Gasp?!
Panting as if I had a nightmare, I opened my eyes with a confused expression.
...................What...?, I questioned nobody in my thoughts.
I was puzzled by the fact that I could still open my eyes though I should've been dead by now.
But what bugged me further was...
"Huh...?", I shortly phrased out of wonder as I set my gaze upon the bed's pink ceiling.
It was in no doubt a childish color yet was a familiar sight at the same time.
And as I rose from the bed, I saw how my hands were strangely smaller than how it should've been.
This is definitely a child's hand, isn't it...?, I pondered.
I became overly curious of what was happening, then, and quickly attempted to find something that could reflect my aspect.
And that attempt resulted me to look all over the room. But before I could do so, I was stunned of what I've witnessed.
This room......... No, no, no, no, no. As if such thing could happen...! I thought, trying to deny my doubt by quickly going towards the enormous wall mirror, in that room.
When I finally stood in front of it, I had a bewildered demeanor while I slightly widened my eyes. Then, I slammed both of my hands upon the figure that reflected my frame.
".......You've gotta be kidding me.", I whispered, being conflicted of the happenings.
Then, I thought,
Why-
.......Why did I go back in time...?!