A/N:
Hey muggles,
Hoping you're enjoying the book so far, the story and characters mean a lot to me and I really appreciate everyone that has read and supported it. Without you, I would not be able to keep producing content! So thank you!!
Thank you all for everything! I hope you're keeping safe and well in this scary time.
Enjoy this chapter! xx
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"Now I would like to announce that Hogwarts will be holding a Halloween Ball this year," Dumbledore said from his pedastool at the front of the hall.
Many people cheered, and Maeve caught Remus' eye and couldn't help but grin at the now miserable look on his face.
"However," Dumbledore raised his hand for silence, "It will not be our usual costume party, apologies," he looked over to James and Sirius who now looked as miserable as Remus, who had now cheered up considerably, "but it will be a masquerade ball."
A masquerade ball? Interesting. Maeve raised an eyebrow at Remus, who nodded as if to say he was satisfied about that new announcement.
Maeve had already started thinking about what she would wear, of course, she was thinking green because then it could match her eyes? Or maybe red, that'd be good. Maybe strapless? Maybe-
"Maeve, dinner's over," she was nudged by Cissa, "Ready to go to the dorms and plan our outfits?"
"Already started it babe, already started," Maeve said, smirking, and linked arms with her.
≿ ———————— ❈ ———————— ≾
"I have a question for you Maeve," Cissa said as she came in from her shower.
"A question you thought of in the shower?" Liz asked, amused.
"Yes," Cissa said, not embarrassed.
"What is it?" Maeve asked impatiently.
"Why do you hate your birthday so much?" Cissa asked as she brushed out her long hair and paced the room, "You've never told us...and it seriously doesn't make sense to me."
"I've never wanted to talk about it," Maeve said, laying back in her bed and staring at the ceiling thoughtfully.
"Why not?" Cissa asked.
"Because...feelings are gross," Maeve shrugged.
"I feel you there," Liz said from her bed.
"Come on, you know you can talk to us about anything," Cissa said.
"But what if I don't want to?" Maeve said, as if it was the most simple thing in the world.
"I think you should still talk to us, you know it's healthy to talk about your feelings, Maevey," Cissa said.
Maeve groaned at this. She really could think of nothing worse than having to talk about her 'feelings'.
"You really want me to tell you?" She asked, frustrated, still laying back and staring at the nothingness above her.
"Yes!" Liz and Cissa said together, obviously both of them had always wanted to know.
It was one of the biggest conundrums in their friendship group: why did Maeve hate her birthday? They were all tired of it.
Maeve sighed finally and sat up, to face them. She avoided eye contact with him as she swallowed nervously. She had to say it now, or else she never would.
"I had an older brother, his name was Jakob,"
Maeve said, suppressing the emotion that already threatened to come bursting out in her voice.
"I never knew that," Cissa said softly.
"Yes, well he was ill for a long time. It was some magical illness that wasn't easily cured."
"Did he die?" Liz almost whispered.
"On my eighth birthday, yeah," Maeve nodded, keeping her face stony.
"I'm so sorry-"
"It's fine," Maeve said, forcing a smile on her face and looking up, "It's fine. My birthday just sucks a bit. But that's okay, there are worse things. If you'll excuse me."
And with that, she left the dormitory.
She didn't know where she was going, but she just kept walking. The obvious place was to go to her and Remus' spot by the library but even that didn't seem isolated enough for her. She just wanted to sit alone in a small space for a bit, regroup, stop feeling the intense sadness she was feeling now.
Turning the corner she saw a broom closet, and decided it was a fine place to have a mental breakdown.
However, as she approached the broom closet she could just make out a sound from within...muffled crying. In an instant she disregarded how she was feeling, she knew it could wait, and focused on helping whoever was in there.
She knocked on the door, and the crying stopped.
"Who is it?" The voice asked, it sounded familiar.
"Black?" Maeve asked, recognising the voice.
She opened the door slightly, to see something she never thought she would.
The tough, brave, popular Sirius Black was huddled on the floor, face streaked with tears, his chest heaving. Looking closer she saw his hands were shaking. It was a strange sight, seeing someone so confident and strong looking so vulnerable. He looked as if he was having a panic attack, which Maeve knew about from her experience with Cissa.
"Go away, Iverson, I'm not really in the mood for-"
"Is there anything I can do to help?" She asked, "What's wrong?"
"It's nothing, just," He took a sharp breath, "leave me alone."
Maeve looked at the trembling boy for a second, he was breathing way too hard for someone that should be left alone.
"No."
She climbed into the broom closet and shut the door behind her.
"What the fuck are you doing?" He gasped, before saying quietly, "shit, Iverson, I can't breathe."
She flicked her wand at the little bulb above them, dimly lighting the small space. Most broom closets in Hogwarts were bigger than this one, but this closet was only the size of a small bathroom, and because half of the closet was broomsticks, mops, buckets etc, there wasn't a lot of room for Sirius and Maeve to both sit. They were so close that their knees were brushing, which was closer than she ever would have liked to be with Sirius Black. But these were simply extraordinary circumstances.
"Okay, look at me," She said, he wasn't, "Sirius, look at me."
He looked at her, probably just surprised she said his first name. His breaths were short and his face was wet with a mixture of tears and sweat.
"I feel sick," He muttered, his breathing becoming even shorter if that was possible.
He seemed to be hyperventilating.
"Breathe, Sirius. You're safe," Maeve said, "Come on, breathe. Deep breath in-"
He looked at her for a moment before pulling in a shaky breath, his grey eyes still slightly untrusting.
"And out," She finished, "again, in and out. That's it, well done, you're doing a good job."
He seemed to still be struggling a bit, the control of his breathing occasionally slipping. She tried another tactic.
"Sirius, what's your favourite place in the whole world?" She asked.
"James...James' house," Sirius said breathlessly, "there's a river at the bottom of the garden, I like to walk down it."
"Okay, close your eyes and keep breathing," Maeve ordered, "Imagine you're walking beside that river, you can hear the gentle flow of the water and the rustling of the leaves in the trees, can you hear it? The sun is shining down on your face. It is quiet, peaceful. Now breathe in the crisp fresh air, in and out, okay?"
He nodded, taking a deep breath in and exhaling, finally appearing to calm down.
"Open your eyes."
He did, immediately looking a lot more relaxed than before.
"Thank you, Iverson," He said, wiping his sweaty forehead with the sleeve of his cloak, "that doesn't normally happen, I don't know what was going on with me. I just...panicked. I've never panicked like that before."
"It's okay," She said, looking away for a second, before saying, "Can I ask what it was that triggered it?"
"It's nothing, it's actually quite pathetic," He said, shaking his head.
"I'm sure it's not," She said, "You know you can actually trust me, Black. I know we hate each other or whatever, but you can trust me."
"I don't hate you," He murmered.
"I don't hate you either," She said, "Reg misses you, you know? You should write him."
"I thought he hated me. He seems happy I left the house, that I'm not part of the family anymore," Sirius said dejectedly.
"You know him, he just puts up an act to try and cope with things. He doesn't mean it, I can tell he misses you," She said softly.
"Really?" He dark pushed his hair out of his eyes.
"Really," she nodded.
There was a moment of silence for a bit, but it wasn't uncomfortable. Then Sirius spoke up.
"Why did you help me?" He asked, "Why didn't you just leave me alone?"
"It didn't feel right to leave someone in that condition on their own...and I have experience with people having panic attacks before, so I knew I could help," She said dismissively.
"Oh," He seemed to think about this for a moment, before nodding, "Thank you, then."
"You're welcome," She said, "But don't mention this to anyone else."
"What, and ruin both of our reputations? Wouldn't dream of it," He cracked a smiled.
They fell into a silence again, both of them less tense now. Then Sirius piped up again.
"I panicked because a teacher shouted at me."
"What? No offense, Black, but doesn't that happen a lot?" She asked.
"Not really, I just get...told off, I guess. Teachers rarely raise their voice at students, unless you've majorly pissed them off," He said, fiddling with his sleeves nervously, "Um, I was in detention with McGonagall watching over me, and I was supposed to be polishing these glass phials for potions, and I accidentally knocked one and it...smashed, shattered all over the floor. Glass everywhere."
"Oh dear," Maeve said.
"Yes, oh dear," Sirius nodded, "She just started screaming at me. Apparently it's this special magic phial that has magical properties for potions and if it breaks then the magic becomes useless."
"I've heard of those," Maeve nodded, "Hey, can I ask something?"
"Sure," He shrugged.
"Do you think you panicked because being yelled at reminded you of your parents? And, you know, memories of your childhood?" She asked, embarrassed because she knew she could relate to it too.
"Yeah, I think so," He said, his brows furrowed as he considered the idea, "how did you know?"
"I panic when people shout at me too, your cousin has full on panic attacks when anyone even raises their voice at her...I think it's a common thing for pureblood children," Maeve said the miserable fact, "It's bullshit."
"It is bullshit," Sirius laughed for the first time in the conversation.
"Sirius? Are you in there, mate?"
Maeve looked at Sirius, panicked. James Potter was outside.
"Uh yeah," He called back, causing Maeve to give him an alarmed look.
"You didn't come back to the common room after your detention, we were worried, what are you doing?" Potter asked.
"Oh, um, I'm...I'm in here with a girl, yeah - I'll be there in a bit," He said, which wasn't technically a lie.
He gave a pointed look towards Maeve, who gave a bewildered look towards him, before realising.
She put on a breathy, high-pitched voice, released a little moan and said "Come on Sirius, you know not to keep me waiting."
"Ah," James coughed awkwardly, "I'll just, meet you back in the common room then."
"Don't wait up!" Sirius called, his face contorted in his attempts to keep his laughter down.
They heard James' quick footsteps away. As soon as they couldn't hear him anymore, they both burst into hysterical laughter.
"That voice, I lost it," Sirius laughed, almost wheezing.
"Why thank you, thank you very much," Maeve jokingly bowed her head.
And in that, Maeve had made another very unlikely friend in Gryffindor. Suddenly, she didn't feel too sad anymore, she had forgotten all about her talk with the girls before.
It was a comfort for her to know that when she left the Dark Lord, she wouldn't be alone. She would have Remus, and perhaps his friends too? It was wishful thinking, of course, but every day the dream was appearing to look as if it could actually be reality one day.
One day.