Yes, I am an absolute hypocrite.
'You're important to me too'? He would laugh it off in my face in disbelief.
Its a fact I left him 3 years ago.
We dated for more than a year and I never once let him in on my thoughts in my head. I was always so cold and distant towards him that was why he was never able to read me.
It must have been a total shock to him when I texted him unpredictably telling him it was best to separate.
I remember that day.
I received news that I would be promoted from Senior Manager of Accounts to General Manager. Which means I would be assisting with not only the accounts but as well as the operations in the entire department.
And Love?
It was never a priority or concern to me.
It was just extra baggage. It was needy.
It wanted my time, effort and attention.
Something at that point of time, I couldn't give. I was only devoted and committed to my career.
I always kept a mental barrier between us and yet, I never expected him to bypass it. I had been alone, but I never thought that one day I would be capable of being emotionally attached to someone.
I could only imagine the hurt I've caused him.
Because after sending that text, I never saw him ever again. He didn't even stop by my place to collect his clothes and belongings.
All he replied to me was 'why?'
And I never bothered to explain myself.
I felt like I didn't have to, I didn't need to. It was my life, and I decide what's most important for me. I never once spared a thought for his feelings, I was too wrapped up in myself.
I didn't give a damn about anyone else.
So, I left him on Read.
And disappeared from his life.
Completely. Suddenly.
Until that night.
I dropped the pair off at their apartment. Sakura thanked me for the ride and exited the car.
Naruto, hesitated for a few seconds before opening my car's door. He never said a word, even though he seemed like he wanted to speak with me.
I grabbed his wrist at the last second before he could step out of my car. He turned around to look at my hand that was holding onto him, then up into my eyes. I swiftly let go after meeting his eyes. They were filled with sorrow and pain, it killed me.
"I won't take long. I'll see you upstairs soon."
He shook his head immediately, turning away and leaving the car. "It's alright, I'm okay." But before I could answer, he shut my car's door.
He was distancing himself from me.
I could feel it. He was doing the exact same thing that I did. Building such a strong mental wall between us.
And I don't blame him for it.
Who wouldn't be defensive to someone who had hurt them?
I pulled out my phone and texted Hinata that I was ready for the conference call.
It was the chairman's decision to call for this meeting, and she looped me into the meeting.
We waited for a couple more minutes before every member of the Board had jumped on the call.
"Good afternoon, everyone." Danzo greeted, he was the highest ranked in the Board of Directors.
"As you all know, we are currently working on branding and marketing our latest product - ARX Digital Card. There's insider news that Everte Bank is also releasing a similar digital idea. With that being said, we have to speed up our marketing plans. Any suggestions?" Danzo cleared his throat, sounding impatient and demanding.
"We could start promoting the card now by buying billboards and advertising spaces. Not to mention, marketing online too." One of the investors suggested.
"That is a marketing tactic we will do nevertheless. I need campaign concepts to stand out from the competitor!" Danzo shot him down quickly.
"For digital Products, your main target audience would be aged 18-35. One way to appeal to this age group would be having a Brand Ambassador." I proposed amongst the
noisy background noise of discussions.
There were a few seconds of complete silence before Danzo agreed, "Yes, we haven't considered a Brand Ambassador. Hinata, follow up on Sasuke's approach. I want a Proposal first thing in the morning tomorrow."
Hinata acknowledged, and the meeting continued.
It went on for hours.
And for the first time since Naruto had popped up in my life again, I felt myself distracted from the haunting thoughts of him.
At this point, I could drive myself insane with all that thinking about him all the damn time.
It was like the love I had suppressed within the past years had imploded, swallowing me whole.
It was almost dinner time when the conference call meeting finally ended. But it wasn't over for Hinata and I. We had a separate call to discuss the Proposal.
"Find 20 suitable Brand Ambassadors, he or she need to be appealing to the age group mentioned. Models, Actors or Singers would be a good place to start." I was growing impatient and quickly spilled out all the ideas that ran through my head. I wanted to end this as soon as possible, then I could check on Naruto.
I was still stuck in my car, looking up at his apartment building through my glass window.
It felt so near yet so far.
"Then, engage a suitable fashion designing agency that could portray the digital fun and easy style we are going for." I continued hurriedly.
I could hear her typing all these down, trying to catch up with every word I spoke.
"Any questions?"
"N-No, President Sasuke."
I hung up and walked over to the apartment building. I was waiting for the elevator when I received a call from Sakura.
It was now way past dinner time.
"I'm coming up now." I told her as I stepped into the lift.
"Oh! I wanted to let you know we went out for dinner."
I held the elevator's door at the very last second before it could fully close.
I darted out of the lift and towards my car, "Where? I'll come over now."
"We're at-"
"Don't tell him where we are!" I heard Naruto hushing her in the distance.
"Alright, alright. Well.. You heard the little man." Sakura chuckled and apologised.
Disappointed, I went back into my car. Waiting for Naruto and Sakura to return to their apartment building. I just wanted to make sure he was going to be alright.
I dropped my head down, resting my forehead at the top of my steering wheel.
But.. I can't do shit. I couldn't even muster the courage to tell him that I was wrong and that I was truly sorry for what I've done.
How do I get my message across genuinely so that he knows its from the bottom of my heart?
Or is it too late now to repair the damage I did?
I sighed heavily, staring into blank space..
I may be the brains of a company, but I am completely brainless when it comes to loving him.
It was now past midnight and I have not caught sight of either of them.
I dropped Sakura a text.
12:33AM - "Where are you?"
I waited anxiously for a reply, keeping my eyes on the entrance of the building.
12:49AM - "Bar. Dwrinkign"
12:49AM - "Which bar?"
Almost half an hour passed and there was still no response from her again. I decided that I couldn't keep waiting for her reply and drove around to the nearby bars.
I would safely assume that Naruto is drinking as well.. And knowing that he isn't a good drinker, I didn't have a good feeling about it.
But after stopping at a few bars and checking them, I finally received a text of their location.
I sped, cutting through traffic to reach there as fast as possible. I entered the bar and began to search for the blonde boy.
My eyes caught sight of the pair at the corner of the bar with plenty of empty bottles and cups on their table.
Sakura had her head on the table, looking like she was knocked out while Naruto was being approached by a guy.
I pushed past the stranger and snatched the glass out of Naruto's hand from behind. "Stop drinking."
"Who the hell are you?" The drunken guy asked violently.
"Fuck off." I growled fiercely before turning back to my love. He wasn't worth my attention, I only had one and only one concern here.
"Hey! That's my cupp! Get your own!" Naruto slapped my arm and tried to take his glass, I raised my arm higher out of his reach.
Sakura was awoken by the commotion, "Leave him alone, you.. p-pervert!" She swung at me and I swiftly dodged her unstable fist. She ended up bashing the drunken guy behind me and he fell backwards easily.
"It's me." I grabbed her balled up fist when she tried to attack me again.
She rubbed her eyes, squinting hard to identify me with her blurry vision. Her face was all flushed and she kept fidgeting because she couldn't keep her balance.
"Ah! It's you..u!" She smiled sheepishly.
"Let me take you both home." I slung their arms around me to help them both back to my car. I gave the drunken stranger who was now laid out on the floor a good kick at the side of his stomach on my way out.
I clicked my tongue, annoyed that I had now dirtied my $8,000 pair of shoes.
Just as we exited the place, Naruto pushed himself off me angrily. "I don't need y-your help!" He tried backing away from me, eventually tripping over his own leg and falling backwards onto his bum on the pavement outside the bar.
"He's.. not a pervert, N-Naruto! He-..He's the good one." Sakura withdrew her arm around my neck and helped her best friend off the ground shakily.
"Liar! He's not good.. to me. He's the one that broke my heart."