Hey, wigs. Long time no see. I think the last time I wrote something was.... October, maybe? Early November? I don't know. So, since I've written last, I'd switched over to a whole 'nother job and ended up coming back home. So, I worked at one job for awhile and applied for another. I had written the boss a note like "hey, I started a job at this other company and so I can't be as available as before" and after that note I didn't get put back on the schedule lmfao. Does that count as being fired? Anyway, turns out I should have just stayed at the one job because the other job only hired us for Black Friday. Bitch if it was all that, what was the point in asking when the fuck I would be available? I had been there like twice before Black Friday, and then they hit me and my sister up saying they let go of all the newest hires--- and it was quite a few of us. Does that count as being fired? Did I get fired twice in a month? Who knows. I mean, the lady offered to be a reference should I apply to another one of their stores. Whatever the case may be, I'm not saying shit on any new applications.
Speaking of applications, I was sure I would keep working throughout the year. I can't remember if I mentioned being accepted in to school. I know I said something about applying. What had happened was they had accepted me literally weeks before I made it a point to check my spam folder. I was surprised and annoyed that an official letter of acceptance had made its way to a spam folder. They should fix that. But anyway, boom. I got accepted and after almost not making it here, I DID wind up moving here. So, here I am, a new graduate student at a hearing university.
When I tell you my nerves were fried by the time I had stepped foot on this campus, I mean that shit. This is a whole new environment for me. I was not used to not feeling stifled by my lack of knowledge of the language cuz it's the language I've been using my whole life. After five fucking years, I was back to what I know. But it still feels kind of surreal. On top of registering that, I had to once again show my face around the campus. And as I've said already, I have a pretty noticeable birth defect. Most people have given me more than one glance, but no reactions have been too bad. Earlier I think this guy had something to say but I was on the phone with my sister. And while I kind of overthought about that whole thing for a while, I had to remember that I will continue to get all kinds of reactions for the rest of my life. Even if he was referring to something else, or maybe catcalling (LOL), I would get all kinds of looks, and sometimes they will be negative. Besides this guy would never have a chance in hell with me, anyway-- gay or not lmao.
Another thing I have to keep reminding myself is I'm older than most of these people on campus and in my dorm. Oh yeah, my old ass lives on campus. I live too far away from home to commute and even if I didn't, I kind of wanted to experience life in a dorm in a mainstream setting. Thus far, almost everything is the same, except I don't hesitate on asking whatever I need to ask. Before, I'd leave the roommates to do any communicating lmao. Y'all..... I'm finna be 25 like shit. Bitch, what? I'm 25 with a bachelor's degree, currently in grad school and still feel behind. I need to write this shit on the wall so I can stare at it and know I'm a bad bitch. And one way of walking in the light of a bad bitch is to completely disregard the opinions of others when it comes to you, right? I'm ALMOST there. Almost. I think I'll be fully there soon.
Right now I have three classes. They're all okay. I think so far I like my Educational Research class best. The professor is awesome but he kinda had me a lil shook. He said he intended to have one of the other classes I'm taking as a prereq to his class. He basically was like "it's gon' be a bit of a challenge". But I was confused, though. He was referencing a stats class. What the fuck does stats have to do with finding information? All Mr. Sir is doing is giving us math formulas and problems and making us do them. Thus far it's cool. What the fuck does this have to do with anything lmao. I gotta know how to solve specific formulas to write papers? Girl, okay. Oh, and I cannot shut the fuck up. In class, that is. When I was in undergrad, I would say the least that I could get away with and be done. Now, I just be expanding on everything when ain't nobody ask for all that. I'm not the social butterfly and all that but I already feel freer than before. I'm shook, but free, doe. Y'know? No. Oh.