"How are you feeling today, Aria?"
Her question pulled me out of the current daze I was under while staring at the ticking clock on the wall.
"I feel better," I told her. It was the partial truth, but I was feeling much better than I did a month ago.
"How are your online classes going? Your mom told me you are still pulling good grades." I knew she was trying to get me to open up before she got into the serious things that she was paid to help me with, but it didn't make it any easier to remember.
I nodded my head at her comment, "My classes are fine."
"How are your friends? Do you still see them often?"
I played with the hem of the pink corduroy skirt I was wearing. "They're doing good; we still get brunch on Saturdays." Oh my friends, well they are less traumatized than I am if that counts for anything.
"So then I'm sure they would help make the transition back to school a little easier for you," she said, and I picked up on the hopeful tone of her voice.
Oh yes, the dreaded place I would be forced to return to since everyone believed that my current mental state was significantly better than it was before. The only problem was that there was one person that wouldn't be returning to that school.
"I'm sure they will."
"You're mother also told me that Moretti," she looked down at her notes, "was recovering nicely."
"Steven? Yes, he's better." Of course, he had only woken up from his coma a week ago, before he and Sofia left for Italy. The thought of the two of them brought up moments that I couldn't handle replaying.
"Have you spoken to him?" She asked me. So this was her way of easing into the serious stuff.
I took a deep breath, "No, I haven't."
"Why not?"
She seriously asks the most ridiculous questions at times.
"Because it's too hard."
She put her notepad down, before leaning in closer to me on the chair. "You know you saved his life Aria."
"At what expense," my tone was venomous. "The man can barely walk, his own heart has to be monitored because it could give out at any second."
"While those things are true, he is still alive," her brown eyes stared me down. "Life is a beautiful thing, Aria."
"Unfortunate how some people don't have that gift to claim," I hissed at her, tears filling my eyes. I hated remembering. I hated thinking about that night, and all she ever did was force me to remember it.
"Aria, you did what you had to do. No one blames you," her voice was soft. No matter how many times during these sessions, I screamed and took my frustration out on her, she always kept a calm exterior.
"Then why do I blame myself?"
"You have a kind soul Aria. You care for people no matter how wrong they did you. You feel sympathy for people, even when they don't deserve it. You were put in a tough position, and you acted on that need to protect a loved one."
"How do I make the guilt go away?" I asked her. More like begged her.
"You have to consider the outcome of your actions, and how much more broken you would've felt had you not done what you did. You may not think so Aria, but what you did was the right decision, and I know a couple of people who will forever be thankful for what you did."
I took in her words. The night of my birthday was probably the worst day of my life. I don't regret what I did; I just wished it had never happened in the first place. I wish that I was never put into that situation. I wish I wasn't exposed to this life. However, with all the bad things that have happened to me, there was one good thing that seemed to outshine the rest of the bad. I remembered the love I was exposed to by a certain dark-haired man who just so happened to haunt my dreams.
"Aria," her voice took me out of my thoughts, "Our session is up for today, but I'll see you on Thursday after your first day." She held a soft smile on her face. I wondered how it felt to have to listen to the horrors her patients went through, but still manage a smile. Maybe I should take some pointers.
I nodded my head, "Okay, I'll see you on Thursday."
She walked with me out of the room and just like every Monday and Thursday, my mother was waiting in the lobby area for me. She seemed to be texting on her phone before she noticed us. She quickly stood up, "How did it go?"
The smile on her face fell the moment she saw how red my nose and eyes were no doubt. "Sweetheart, I think a certain someone is expecting a call from you. Why don't you do that while I talk to Dr. Vigil."
I simply nodded my head and said goodbye to Dr. Vigil before walking towards the doors of the lobby. I took my phone out of my pocket and clicked on the contact that was gone more days than not.
"Hello sweetheart," his deep voice said over the line. I sighed, missing hearing that voice in real life.
"Hi Leo," I tried hard to make sure my voice had no traces of crying since he would notice it right away. However, hearing his voice and realizing how much I missed him brought the tears back.
"Why have you been crying Aria?" He asked, sounding angry. "If that doctor is making you cry then so help me-"
I quickly cut him off, "No, I quite like Dr. Vigil. I miss you is all."
I heard him sigh, "I miss you too, sweetheart, more than you know."
Then why don't you come home? I wanted to ask him. However, I knew it wasn't that simple.
So instead I asked, "Do you know when you'll be home?"
"Hopefully soon, sweetheart depends on how quickly I can meet with everyone that was helping my father before. When do you go back to school?" He asked me.
My stomach churned at the thought of going back to school and having to face everyone that was at my party and the fact that Leo wouldn't be there anymore. "I'll be back to school on Wednesday they decided."
"If you're not ready yet sweetheart, I can arrange for you to continue the online classes for a little bit longer," he offered.
"No, it's okay, I'll have the girls that'll help me find my classes and whatnot. Plus I need to have more human interaction. It'll just be weird knowing that things won't be the same anymore."
"I wish so badly that I could come back to school with you, but I'll make sure that you have protection, and Damon will be helping you as well," I heard him yawn.
"You sound tired," I pointed out. "Have you been getting enough sleep?"
"I can't get good enough sleep when you aren't sleeping next to me," he admitted, and I felt my cheeks get warm while a small smile spread across my lips. I missed this boy.
"Same here," Well that and the nightmares I've been having have also affected my sleep. "How's the workload?"
"Significantly heavier now that I'm officially in charge, but it's nothing I can't handle. A bunch of it is pointless shit from a long time ago, especially now since alliances have fallen," he said. My heart dropped, I knew precisely the alliances he was talking about. Just the mere mention of it brought a sickening feeling into my stomach.
"You can do it, Leo, I believe in you," I encouraged him.
I could hear the smile on his face through the phone, "Those are the only words of encouragement I ever needed to hear in my life."
I noticed my mom walking over to me, "We're about to leave, but I'll call you later, Leo."
"Okay sweetheart, I'll talk to you tomorrow. I love you."
"I love you too, Leo," I told him, feeling my heartache at the fact that I wouldn't be hearing his voice again until tomorrow. I hung up the call as my mom was standing right next to me.
"You ready to go?" She asked me. I nodded my head, as we walked outside and into the car.
The ride home was silent, but I didn't have much energy to hold a conversation at the moment. I just wanted to go home and lay in bed while watching Vampire Diaries for the next couple of days until it was time for me to begin going back to school officially.
And so that was what I did. It was Wednesday morning, and I was pretty sure I was going to start throwing up from the nerves. I usually wasn't this nervous ever for my first day of school, but considering the past events and me not talking to anyone from school, I think I had reason to be nervous.
As much as I prepared myself for this moment in the mirror this morning, all of that went out the window as soon as the car pulled up to the front of the school.
Leo called me this morning to give me words of encouragement, but his message pretty much revolved around "if anyone does anything to offend you, I will kill them." I laughed it off, but I'm pretty sure he wasn't kidding.
The school was just as lifeless as I remembered. It seemed so grey and gloomy, quite a contrast to the beautiful blue skies and greenery that surrounded the school. I took a deep breath and stepped out of the car. I think I was going to be sick, but so far, everything was okay.
That was until I stepped through the doors of the school. Whereas I usually would've been confident with the stares that people were giving me, this time I couldn't help but cower away. I wanted so badly to be back in the comfort of my bed, away from everyone that had probably created ridiculous stories about me in my absence. Instead, I took a deep breath and made my way over to my locker while keeping my eyes glued to the floor the whole time.
I was putting my code into the locker when I heard a squeal. My eyes lifted towards the noise, and that was when I saw my three best friends and Margot making their way over to me. I guess she was new to the school this year.
"Aria! I'm so happy you're back," Claire pulled me into a bone-crushing hug. She knocked the breath out of me for a second, but I hugged her back. Finally, I was met with the people that I knew wouldn't judge me for anything.
"I'm so happy to see you all," I told them, making my way to hug the rest of them.
"How are you feeling?" Victoria asked me. This was a question I had become all too familiar with answering.
I sighed, "I was doing better until I had to come to this hell hole."
"Well, we're happy you're back, and we'll help you find all of your classes," Elena said while Margot nodded.
"Thanks, guys, I just really want to have a day without any problems," I told them, before finally turning back towards my locker and opening it.
There was a little note in it, "Did one of you get these too?" I asked them before I even opened it thinking it could've been a message from the student government or something.
"No, what does it say?" Claire asked, looking confused.
I shrugged before opening up the note. My body turned cold, and I felt my stomach drop to my chest. I was in shock.
Victoria took the note from my hands before reading it, out loud, "Murderer."
"Who the hell would write something like that?" Elena asked angrily.
"Oh, they'll see what a murderer is once I tell Damon and he tells Leonardo," Claire began taking out her phone.
This snapped me out of my daze, "No. You can't tell anyone. Leo can't know about this."
"What? Why? He gave us strict instructions to notify him if anything happened when you returned," Victoria stated, looking confused.
"He's so busy with other things, just please don't tell him. I don't want to stress him out. This is probably some asshole student that's it," I pleaded them.
"Well we should tell the dean or something at least," Margot suggested.
"No, please let's just forget this happened," I took the note back from Victoria, ripping it into little shreds. "We never saw this note. This never happened."
They all nodded hesitantly before the bell rang, indicating it was time for class. We all separated, but Claire walked with me since we had class together.
I kept thinking back to the note. All that progress that I had before was now completely gone because I was, in fact, a murderer.
________________________
I'm back! Just wanna point out whereas my last book was very fluffy I feel like, this one will be real, so get ready for that! Hope you all enjoyed it! I'm going to try to figure out a posting schedule since I started college and it's already stressing me out, but I will never abandon any of my books!