Nung natapos kaming mag-dinner, sumabay na ako kay Kevin pauwi. We both agreed that he would take me to my condo dahil ayokong umuwi sa condo niya. Why should I? If we're going to kill each other then we should go to my place because there, I have the upperhand since it's my place at hindi ko alam kung anong koneksyon nu'n. Eh pa'no pag nag-away kami eh di na stuck na ako du'n? Mas okay ng du'n na lang. He may leave as he please.
We barely spoke to each other during dinner habang ang sayang nagkwe kwentuhan ng mga kasama namin and if I'm not mistaken, si Mike ang nagvolunteer na ihatid si Andy.
Hindi pa rin kami nag-usap hanggang sa makarating kami ng condo ko.
Dumeretso ako ng kwarto ko at pumasok ng closet.
I just took my dress off nung pumasok siya ng closet and I almost squealed.
"Get out." pagtataboy ko sa kanya habang naghahanap ako ng pantulog sa closet ko pero parang wala siyang narinig.
"Oh." sabay abot niya sa'kin ng kahuhubad niya lang na damit niya.
He wants me to wear his clothes and I love to. Always.
Nagdalawang isip pa ako pero kinuha ko pa rin at sinuot tsaka siya nagtanggal ng pants niya and now he's only wearing his boxers.
Lumabas na ako ng closet and walked through the hallway papuntang kitchen. I want coffee.
Nilagyan ko yung coffee maker tsaka ko sinalang. Inaantay kong matapos nung sumandal si Kev sa doorway ng kitchen.
Maybe he should put some clothes on. Nagkunwari akong wala siyang epekto sa'kin at nilagyan yung cup ng kape.
"Would you like some?" tanong ko sa kanya ng hindi tumitingin.
"No."
I just shrugged and went on the living room, putting off the lights in the kitchen.
Sitting on the couch and watching tv. I feel doing just that.
"Are you going to treat me this way all throughout the night then?" he annoyingly asked me ng nakatayo siya sa side ng couch. His arms crossed.
I didn't mind him instead, I just sipped my coffee and watched whatever is on... flipping through the channels when I decided to just watch cartoons that is just so freaking funny that I had to put my coffee down dahil baka madulas sa kamay ko sa kakatawa.
"You're pissing me off, Reena." may banta na sa boses niya na nagpabaling ng tingin ko sa kanya.
He's glaring at me.
"You pissed me off first." sagot ko.
"Pwede ba? Hindi ka na bata para maging childish sa mga ganitong sitwasyon."
"Ha. At ako pa talaga ang childish? Ha? Ako pa?" he's pissing me off again, "You were the one who was acting like a child! I was trying to explain things to you pero hindi ka man lang makaintindi and you didn't even show up! Now who's being childish?"
"I had work." dahilan niya. Ginagalit niya ba talaga ako?
"Work?! Come on Kev! We both know na simpleng trabaho lang sa'yo yun. You could've travelled to Manila immediately if you want to. But the problem is, you don't. Sinadya mong hindi pumunta." sumbat ko sa kanya at hindi siya sumagot. Tumingin lang siya sa ibang direksyon. Iniiwasan niya akong tignan sa mata.
"You weren't supposed to be there anyway. Sinabi ko na sa'yo hindi ako papayag kahit na anong gawin mo but my opinion isn't even worth listening to, is it?" his eyes still glaring down at me.
"Really? Eh ano pang silbi nitong paguusap natin kung hindi pala importante yung opinyon mo sa'kin? Ano bang kinakatakot mo at ayaw mong pumayag? I know it's not just because of showing off my body Kev dahil alam mong sa'yo at sa'yo pa rin ako uuwi at the end of the day."
He sighed, "Wala rin lang pupuntahan 'tong usapang 'to. You can't make me say yes. So let's just drop it. That was your last show anyway."
"You know that can't be true." I shake my head.
"Stop pissing me off." and I did just that. I don't want a fight anymore. Inirapan ko lang siya at tumabi siya sa'kin sa couch.
Inubos ko na lang yung kape ko tsaka nagpatuloy sa panunuod nang hindi ko namamalayang nakatulog na pala ako. Namalayan ko na lang na inayos ni Kev yung higa namin sa couch. My head placed on the crook of his neck and my hand on his chest. His arm on my waist.
I wish we could always be this peaceful and just lie on each other's side without worrying about anything that might threaten in ruining our relationship.
***
"Tita I want a dog, let's buy one." biglang sabi sa'kin ni Niel habang nanunuod siya ng TV.
Dinala siya dito ni Kuya kaninang umaga sa condo ko. Mabuti na lang nakapagbihis na kami ng maayos nung dumating sila. Reklamo pa ng reklamo si Kevin na ang aga aga pa daw may nambubulabog na.
"Why would you want a dog?" tanong ko sa kanya.
"I just want one. Tell him I want one." sabay turo niya sa pinto ng kwarto. Si Kevin?
"Bakit ka naman bibilhan ni Tito Kevin ng aso?" natatawang tanong ko sa kanya.
"Bakit naman hindi niya ako bibilhan?" he pouts.
"Hindi ka niya pinapansin tapos bibilhan ka pa niya ng aso." mahinang sabi ko sa sarili ko para hindi ako marinig ng bata.
"Ako na lang ang bibili, okay?" nakangiting sabi ko.
"No. Gusto ko si Tito Kevin bumili." he's whining.
"Ako ang bibili ng alin?" says Kevin who's just getting out of the room with his white shirt and jeans. He's barefoot and why does he look so hot?
God what am I thinking again?
"Will you buy me a dog?" tanong ni Niel kay Kevin sabay tayo at lumapit sa kanya.
"No." he rudely dismisses Niel.
"Why?" malungkot na tono ng boses niya.
Why does he have to be so mean to the kid? I'm not liking his attitude.
"Because it's not my responsibility to buy you one." he points out and walked straight to the kitchen.
"Just buy me one. It's not hard to buy, di ba tita?" tanong sa'kin ni Niel.
Of course he won't understand what he meant. He's a child. Ugh.
"Come here." I fake a smile.
Bumalik sa couch si Niel ng nakayuko at tinutok na lang yung tingin niya sa TV ng nakasimangot. Sinundan ko naman si Kevin sa kusina.
"What the hell is your problem?" naiinis na tonong tanong ko sa kanya.
"Anong problema mo?" pagbabalik niya sa'kin ng tanong sabay balik ng pitcher ng tubig sa ref at sumandal siya sa may lababo hawak yung baso.
"How can you say that to a child? He's just a kid." I point out.
"Ano bang mali sa sinabi ko?" He has no fucking idea?
"Nagpapabili lang ng aso yung bata. You can deny him but you should have done it a good way!" medyo napapalakas na yung boses ko.
"Tss, mabuti pa sabihin mo sa kanya na 'wag siyang lumapit sa'kin kung ayaw niyang matanggihan." he said casually.
I look at him and he's not giving anything away but he just drink his water from the glass. He doesn't even care.
Tinalikuran ko na lang siya at lumabas ng kusina at bumalik kay Niel.
"You want to buy a dog now? Sasamahan tayo ni Tito Kevin." Nakangiti kong tinanong si Niel.
"Really?" his face partnered with his voice is full of excitement.
"Yep,"
"Yeey! Let's go na, tita!" at hinila na ako papunta ng kusina.
"Come!" hinila niya rin si Kevin.
"What the-" he started to say but I glare at him not to continue.
"Niel, let Tito Kevin wear his shoes first." Sabi ko kay Niel and he nods while smiling. Bumitaw siya sa hawak niya kay Kevin kaya hinila ko si Kev papasok ng kwarto ko.
"Sa'n tayo pupunta?" his brows furrow in confusion.
"Bibili ng aso." I simply stated.
"Ayoko. Kayo na lang, uuwi na 'ko." sabi niya at nagsimula ng magsuot ng sapatos.
"Kev, konting pabor lang yung hinihingi ng bata. I'll pay for it, so don't worry."
"Akala mo ba kaya ayokong sumama dahil ayokong ako ang magbayad? Pwede ko siyang bilhan ng sampung aso kung gusto niya." sumbat niya sa akin.
I ignore the fact that he's being sarcastically proud that he doesn't have money issues.
"Then why won't you come?" tumayo siya at kinuha yung wallet, cellphone at susi niya sa bedside table.
"Simple lang, dahil ayoko." He shrugs.
Sasagot pa sana ako sa kanya nung biglang mag-ring yung phone ko at nung tingnan ko kung sino yung tumatawag, it's unknown.
I answer it anyway.
"Hello?"
"Reena. It's Mark." I smile at the voice on the other line.
Nararamdaman kong nakatingin sa'kin si Kevin ngayon habang kausap ko si Mark pero hindi ko na lang pinansin.
"Mark?! Hi! How are you?" I haven't talk to him since I went home.
"I'm okay, you?"
"I'm great. Why did you call?" Hindi naman sa ayoko siyang tumawag but I was just curious as to why would he call all of a sudden.
"I'm in the Philippines right now." He informs me.
"Really?" the excitement is clear on my voice and I can feel Kevin's annoyance.
"Yep. Wanna meet up?"
"Sure. I'd love to. Is your dad with you?"
"Nope." He answers popping the "p."
"Mm, okay. Then can I meet you at dinner? Kailangan kong bantayan si Niel eh." Paliwanag ko.
"Ayos lang ba kung sumama ako sa inyo? I'm getting a little bored at my mom's house." He asks and I'm weighing options.
Whether I bring him along since Kevin's not going with us or see him at dinner? Well, I kind of miss him though so...
"Sure. I'm going to buy a dog for Niel."
"Really? I-send mo na lang yung address ng shop sa'kin and I'll meet you there."
"Sure. I'll see you then." I smile and hang up.
"Who the fuck is that?" his annoyance is evident. Kailan ba siya hindi nainis? Sa inaraw araw na lang.
"That's Mark, one of my friends from New York. He says he's here." paliwanag ko habang tinetext kay Mark yung address ng alam kong dog shop dito.
"Ano kung nandito siya?"
"Sasamahan niya kami ni Niel since ayaw mo namang sumama." I shrug my shoulders knowing that he won't agree with it.
"Hell no."
"Well, you can't do much about it right now, can you?" I show him my phone screen and a message containing the address of the shop being sent to Mark.
Inagaw niya sa'kin yung phone ko but he's too late at nung tumingin siya sa'kin, galit na yung itsura niya.
"Nananadya ka ba?"
"No." I lie.
Oo, nananadya talaga ako. It's a childish act but I can't think of any other way to make him come with us kahit na kasama namin si Mark mamaya.
"Magsama kayo ng kaibigan mo. Isama mo pa yang pamangkin mo para magmukhang happy family kayo. I won't put up with this shit." He says and he throws my phone on the bed, walking away from me.
Well that went the other way that I intended it to.
"Sa'n ka pupunta?" tanong ko sa kanya. I don't want him to go.
"Pake mo?" he harshly say and went out the door.
Damn it. It's my fault, I'm not letting him leave.
Sinundan ko siya palabas ng kwarto.
"We're going na?" Punong puno ng excitement yung mukha ng bata.
Huminto naman si Kevin sa harap niya. Please don't say something harsh to him.
Huminga muna siya ng malalim bago niya sinagot yung bata.
"What kind of dog do you want?" he asks Niel and I was surprised.
I was actually expecting him to deny Niel and tell him to back off like he did earlier but he didn't.
"I want a dog like that one!" masayang sabi niya at tinuro yung TV. Chow chow yung asong nagpapakita sa TV.
"Okay. Go get your mom in the room and let her buy you one." he snaps. His tone is arrogant.
Tinawag niya lang ba akong "mommy" ni Niel? Tss. I thought he was finally giving in and he will come with us but no.
"My mom is with my dad. She's not here." The kid defends.
He scoffed, "Hell, she's not here."
Hindi ko na alam pero nakabuka lang yung bunganga ko at hindi ko alam kung anong sasabihin ko kay Kevin. Why is he acting like a jerk again?
"Niel, go get your bag." Utos ko sa bata at kinuha yung susi ng kotse ko sa center table sa sala.
"Come," tawag ko sa bata at hinawakan niya ako sa kamay.
I lead him to the door.
"Tita, paano si Tito Kevin?" tanong niya bago pa kami makalabas ng tuluyan. He's looking at Kev.
I kneel in front of him para mas makausap ko siya ng maayos.
"May importanteng lakad si tito eh. But guess what, Tito Mark is here." I smile at the child.
"Really?" his tone is excited.
"Yep, he'll meet us there."
"Let's go, let's go!" patalon niyang sabi and I giggle. Mark and Niel are close too that's why he's too excited to see Mark.
I can practically hear Kevin's long breaths right now. I don't care dahil wala rin naman siyang pake kung anong mararamdaman ko eh. It should just be the same, isn't it?
Tumayo na ako at kasabay nun ang paghawak ni Kevin sa braso ko.
"Mag-usap nga tayo." It's not a request but a command. What else is new?
"Wait for me on the couch." I smile at Niel at naglakad na ako papunta ulit ng kwarto.
He need not to see us fighting.
"Ano?" walang ganang tanong ko sa kanya.
"Sabihin mo sa'king hindi ka makikipagkita sa gagong 'yun kung sino man siya." Utos niya.
"Nope." I taunt him.
"Reena."
"You're the one who started this. Niyaya kitang sumama sa'min ng maayos pero ayaw mo, instead you were being mean to Niel when he's not even doing anything to you! Ngayon, dumating yung kaibigan ko galing ng New York and he asked me kung pwede ba siyang sumama, so I said yes. Kung sana maayos ka lang kausap, we should not be having this conversation right now. Hindi sana natin 'to pinagaawayan ngayon." I defend.
"Hindi ako gago para hindi isiping nananadya ka. May dinner pa kayong nalalaman? You're not having dinner with him." He points at me.
"Fine. Nananadya nga ako and you are not to tell me who I'm having a dinner with." Sagot ko.
"Gusto mo talagang makipagdinner sa kanya? Fine! Go ahead and I'll make sure nakahanap na ako ng ibang babaeng makaka dinner ko pagkaalis ko dito. Who knows what will happen after that god damned dinner?"
I open my mouth to backfire at him but closes it. I attempt to open it again but I can't say anything to him.
Did he just purposely tell me he will have sex with the girl he finds?
"Tss, I'm going." He snaps and with just seconds my bedroom door is closed.
Hindi ko namalayan na may tumutulo na pa lang luha sa pisngi ko at napaupo na lang ako sa kama. Hindi pa nga namin nareresolba ng maayos yung issue namin kagabi meron na naman?
He wouldn't do that though, would he? I don't have the energy to go after him and hell if I have I'm sure as hell not going to. He's being the asshole that he is and he purposely said that to hurt me.
It hurts me to think that he tells me he loves me, he shows me he loves me in his simple way but he does this. He's purposely hurting me.
It was just supposed to be a small issue but it came to this. Ugh. I hate this situation.
I wipe my cheeks and fix my face making sure Niel won't notice that I just cried. I didn't cry a lot anyway so...
Kevin didn't even see it and I'm glad he didn't. I bet mas sasaya pa siya pag nakita niyang iniiyakan ko siya.
Lumabas na ako ng kwarto at pinuntahan si Niel.