I feel lonely.
I feel bored.
I feel restless.
I want to be with him...but I can't.
For the past week I hardly seen him. He comes to bed late when I'm already asleep and when I wake up he's already gone. I have nothing to do inside this house.
Yesterday Caden surprised me with an art room. Pulling off the blanket, I walked down the stairs and found myself in one of the hallways. The room was beautiful. There were three canvases on the stands against the window that was covered by blinds, on the left wall were shelves filled with canvases and the other filled with so many colours and shades of paints, different kinds as well. The wall next to the door had glitter packets, brushes, stencils, pallets, cups, tissues, paper and stickers.The walls were painted pink and the floor was covered with a light purple rug and there was a sofa in the middle with pillows and blankets on it.
I turn on the air conditioning and pulled out my paints and brushes before siting down infront of the canvas. It's been so long since I've painted anything at all. I feel free here, the past five years of my life felt like a blur when I'm here. I still have many strong memories but I need to slow down. This could all be taken away from me in a glimpse, Ian could take me back...
I needed to be careful.
I just want to be normal. I just wish I had the ability to forget everything and focus on a new life here but its only been nearly two weeks.
Adrian Drayn
I miss her and I want to be with her but I'm afraid of what I'll do to her. she's already so broken and is trying to pretend she isn't but I know that I'll just break her even more.
I don't deserve a mate.
Avyanna doesn't deserve me.
Fenris haven't been talking to me very much lately, I guess it's because I've been trying to stay away from her. I had my betas set up a room for her yesterday because Caden told me that she loved painting. I know how restless it can be alone so I gave her something to do.
"Just go to her you dumbo," I ignored Fenris and focused back on the work infront of me.
After much hours, I locked the pack house and retreated back to my house. She was so beautiful. I loved how relax and happy she looked while she slept, like nothing mattered to her more. A sigh left my lips as I quietly showered and changed so I could sleep next to her.
Her legs were at her chest so I pull her over to me and she stretches her legs, putting them between mine, turning around and hooking her arm around me. I was stunned, I was very surprised by her action but then I realised it was the mate bond because she would never do that. I closed my eyes and welcomed a very needed sleep.