NICKI POV
The next morning I woke up early and was on my way to the office before 5. I didn't have any meetings or anything, but I figured it would be nice to get there early. When I was about a block away, I got a text from Vanessa: Hey, I can't make it in today.. on my way to the hospital. My water just broke... might be having the babies today!!
I pulled over to text her back: Ahhh!! So exciting! Do you need anything? I can stop by.. now or later, or both.
V: No.. but I'd love to have you here for emotional support please! As a friend, and as someone who went through this recently.
O: Say no more.. I'll be there in a bit.
V: thx sm!
I put my phone away and made a quick U-turn to drive to the hospital. I ended up getting inside right as she was heading to her room. Once she was settled and the doctors had finished the initial checks on her, I sat in a chair next to her mom by her bed.
"Hi, I don't think we've met.. I'm Onika." I offered her a handshake.
"Are you the bitchy boss or the nice one?" She squinted at me disapprovingly.
"Mom-"
"Probably the bitchy one." I accepted with a shrug and a smile.
"Nicki is my friend mom!" Vanessa exhaled.
"Well which is it?" Her mom asked.
"She was only mean while I was interning.. I told you that. Now, she's like my best friend."
I smiled a bit at the fact that she thought of me as like a best friend.
"Are you the overprotective and invasive one then?"
"I have never used either of those words-"
"You didn't have to hun." Her mom shushed her.
"Definitely overprotective about everyone I care about.. and I'm sure that can seem a little invasive to some. So I'll take that one too." I nodded. "I'm intrigued to know what stories you've been told though, you seem to have a very interesting perception of me."
"She was a little jealous that I stayed with you for a while, and that you crashed at my apartment and vise versa." Vanessa rolled her eyes.
"I just think you crossed the professional boundary." Her mom argued.
"And that is completely valid. But our floor is quite close, and your daughter fits right in. We trust her, we like her, and I would protect her with my life." I told her, "I've also told her many times, she needn't worry about a thing.. if she ever needs anything, EVER, all she has to do is ask."
"What's the clause?"
"There isn't a clause mom."
"There's always a clause."
"You're right." I agreed, "the clause is, she has to ask me directly.." i winked.
"Mom, stand down okay? I don't want to scare her away before I get a chance to actually ask something of her." Vanessa groaned.
"Hopefully its a house, because you can't raise two kids in that apartment of yours." Her mom mumbled.
"No, its not a house." She shook her head.
"If you did want a house, I would have to instate a clause on that." I pointed out.
"Nicki, I wanted to ask you to be the godmother of my kids." She reached her hand towards me.
I felt my jaw drop as I stared back at her, speechless.
"Thats why I wanted you here, to ask you in person.. But I couldn't think of a more capable, compassionate and inspiring woman to be there for them if anything were to happen to me." She explained.
"By capable she means rich." Her mother tapped me.
"Thats not true."
"Its okay, I would love to be the godmother of your kids." I smiled.
"Are you looking for someone? Because I have a son wh-"
"I am happily engaged. And otherwise gay.. so I will have to pass on your offer." I interrupted.
"Mom, can you stop trying to shake her down for money?"
"You're gonna let a lesbian raise my grandkids?!"
"Don't worry, I won't be raising them.. because I would never let anything happen to Vanessa." I assured her, "and my fiancé is a man by the way.. so you needn't worry about that either."
"You don't have to just accept whatever she says.. she needs to learn that the things she has said to you since the moment we got in here have been extremely insensitive and disrespectful." Vanessa scolded me.
"Its not my job to change people's views. If she wants to view me as the villain, fine. My actions will always speak louder than my words." I shrugged.
"So now you're gonna go against your own mother for this woman?" Her mom put her hands on her hips.
"You know, I'm kinda glad Aubrey's mom hated me so much before. Now I'm like numb to the idea of older women disliking me." I said to Vanessa.
"That doesn't excuse her behavior"
"Do you realize that you'll be going home with two little blessings? And you wanna sit and argue over whether or not my feelings should be hurt.. priorities babe." I scolded.
"Is labor really as bad as people say?" Vanessa asked.
"Its even worse." I nodded."but they are soo worth it!"
"That is not what you tell someone who is about t-"
"Why not? Its the truth.. and its not like she can change her mind." I cut her off. I turned to Vanessa, "unsurprisingly, both times I definitely had a few moments where I would've given anything to rewind and not have to go through with it.. especially with the triplets. But as you know, i love my babies so freaking much and would never trade them for the world."
"Thanks for not sugarcoating." She smiled slightly.
"When have you ever known me to sugar coat anything?"
"Which is why you're the perfect person to raise them if needed. You know, have experienced and have seen so many of the hardest things in this life... so not only can you rightfully sympathize, but you will always tell it how it is." She told me. As she spoke I was instantly reminded of the note Anita's sister had left me. I guess hearing it from two different people, made me start to accept it a little more. I remembered having to explain to Zoe about her mother's death, I remember finding Zoe so obliviously there in that house alone without even knowing it. How much she reminded me of myself at that age... and for the slightest moment there was a sharp pain in my stomach at the thought of how much I needed Zoe to be UNlike me. Because when I lost my parents, all of my family soon followed.. and for Zoe, that would make Anita next. And- none of us could handle that.. Aaliyah being the only one of my kids to have felt a deep lost.. and I can't bear having to watch someone who has built a relationship with not only Lydia, but OJ and Aaliyah, and myself... I couldn't-
"Nic are you okay?" Vanessa interrupted my thoughts.
"Huh? Yeah I'm fine. I just- I need to make sure Aubrey knows where I am, and that Lydia can handle everything at the office."
"Take your time.. this usually takes a while anyways, you can probably leave and come back later if you want." Vanessa offered.
"I literally sit at work everyday.. I can miss a day to be here for my friend while she gives birth to my godkids." I assured her.
"You? The woman that if given the chance would've gone to work while in labor herself?"
"You should know by now, i do extraordinary things for those i care about." I touched her arm.
After I sent texts to Lydia and Aubrey, I chatted with Vanessa and ignored her mother's remarks for a few hours until she was officially in labor. We took to either side of her to support her as she pushed.
Soon enough, the first baby came, "its a girl!" The nurse exclaimed before taking her away to be cleaned off.
The next baby came soon after, "hold on," the doctor said. I peaked down and saw the umbilical cord wrapped around the baby's neck. The nurses crowded around, blocking my view so I turned to Vanessa.
"You did it!" I said softly as I used a hand towel to wipe away the sweat from her forehead.
"Is something wrong with my baby?" She asked.
"You have one healthy baby girl, and the other has the umbilical cord around their neck, but they are working on that as we speak.."
"Don't you worry about a thing." Her mom coaxed.
"I, I just-" Vanessa panted as her eyes closed.
"Baby.." her mom nudged her.
"And done." The doctor's voice rang out just as the baby began to cry. The nurses noticed Vanessa's state and immediately went to check her vitals.
"She's stable, everything is fine. She is sleeping due to exhaustion, we should clear the room." A nurse dictated.
We left the room and I leaned against the wall.
"Why do you care about my daughter?"
I looked up at her mother, "She has always stood out to me. She's special, intelligent and talented. But above all, she has a heart of gold. I trust her wholeheartedly, and I'm glad to know she feels the same about me."
She stared at me for a second and then turned away.
"Well, I don't know about you, but I could really use some coffee." I stretched my arms.
"Your treat."
I shrugged. We didn't talk at all while we had our coffee, eventually we were able to reenter Vanessa's room. She was sitting up holding her two baby girls in her arms.
"You look like a natural." I approached her, placing my hand on her shoulder.
"Meet Madison Nichole and Bella Maria." She smiled up at us. "Nichole like her god mother Nicki.. and Maria like her grandmother Mary."
"They are perfect." Mary, her mother, acknowledged.
I got home in time for dinner, Aaliyah and Aubrey had prepared something together.
"How was your day?" Aaliyah greeted me.
"Great actually." I hugged her, "Vanessa had her twins, so I got to watch my goddaughters be born."
"Really?" Aubrey came in for a hug.
"That is so cool!" Aaliyah squealed, "you're like the perfect god mother."
"Really? Why?"
"Because you're the perfect mom.." she smiled.
"Okay." I winked at her.
"You dont agree?" Aubrey asked.
"I mean, perfect is a bit of a stretch.. but I think I can do a pretty good job.. i mean, you won't find someone who cares as much as I do, and will try as hard as I do.." I shrugged, "its just, her mother really doesn't like me.. and is under the impression that what makes me a good godmother, is the money I have to offer."
"Thats really not true.." Aaliyah shook her head, "You have money, and thats like a plus.. but you don't really use it.. I mean, its not like OJ has every toy that has ever been invented. And you're not necessarily buying a whole bunch of anything.. you just have like a nice house, nice cars.. and we never go hungry."
"Yeah, I guess I just don't see the excitement of it all anymore. I mean, if I saw a reason to buy you guys everything under the sun, sure.. but you'll never use it." I shrugged.
"But you like.. make a lot of money right? I mean, you're super successful.." Aaliyah made eye contact with me, "what do you do with all of it?"
"You mean after I pay bills?" I raised my eyebrows, "well.. I save a bunch of it, I have separate savings accounts for all of you.. I donate a good amount.. I have money designated for the company and I have money that is under an account for the company that is given to employees when necessary for bonuses or whatever may happen. And umm, the rest is, what you see.. food, clothes, gas, uber.. whatever spending money."
"Even.. for me?" She asked.
I nodded, "for you, OJ, the triplets, your father, Vanessa, and soon.. the twins."
"Wait you have one for me? Why?" Aubrey scrunched his face.
"Because I know that even though you don't NEED me right now financially, one day you might.. and when the day comes that you find yourself having to ask me, it'll already be waiting for you." I explained.
"Thanks." He replied.
I exhaled, "you two can feel free to keep asking questions, but I would love to answer them and eat at the same time."
"Oh right, dinner!" Aaliyah scrambled and passed us each a plate.
"What did you guys make?"
"Well, its a special dish we used to make when I was younger.. and since we know OJ despises tomatoes, we made him a separate dinner earlier so he could go to bed on time." Aaliyah told me.
"Yeah, I should really work on coming home earlier.." I groaned.
"You work hard, we know." Aubrey kissed my forehead.
"Yeah except, I get to see you guys each day.. but Oj and the babies are usually in bed before i get home, and still asleep when I leave out." I sat down as Aaliyah started serving the dish.
"You know.. you worry a lot." Aaliyah decided.
Aubrey laughed a little to himself as he nudged her playfully. I shook my head, grinning a bit as well, "Is that your way of saying I should shut up?"
"Exactly." Aubrey answered for her.
"Hey! Noo." Aaliyah giggled.
"Come here." I opened my arms and beckoned for her. She walked over and hugged me tightly. "You know, I've learned that no one gives better hugs than your own kids."
"You saying she gives better hugs than me?" Aubrey joked.
"You come here too."
He came and joined the hug and I sat there in their arms for a moment thinking to myself how amazing it felt to have this love from FAMILY.
"I love you both so much." I told them.
"We love you too" they replied simultaneously. After dinner we retreated to our rooms where Aubrey and I began getting ready for bed.
"Oh, before I forget.. I can't do lunch tomorrow because I have an appointment right after therapy." I took off my shirt.
"Doctor's appointment again? Didn't you have one like last week?"
"Yeah, that was just to run tests to make sure I was stable enough to go back on birth control. Which is what tomorrow is, the actual birth control." I explained as I removed my pencil skirt.
"You're going back on birth control? Since when.."
"Since.. tomorrow." I slipped into a sports bra.
"What made you suddenly decide-"
"I didn't suddenly decide.. I had to wait until after the triplets were born and for my hormones to recover fully.. and now I'm finally cleared."
"You could've at least mentioned this beforehand.. I mean, there are other options Nic."
"Okay, well.. I think 5 kids is a lot, and I hate being pregnant. So the only option that offers me better protection from being pregnant again unless I'm ready is well, not having sex. And I kind of figured neither of us liked that option." I put on a pair of shorts.
"We could use condoms. That way its just a little less permanent."
"I considered that, but I found 2 flaws in that option."
"Which were?"
"The very permanent commitment of well- pregnancy and parenting in the event that we ever don't have a condom available. Oh and, if I really wanted a rubber glove in my vagina, I would visit my OBGYN more often." I pulled my hair into a ponytail. "Just relax, its not like I'm getting my tubes tied. Plus, having kids again so soon would just prolong the wait for the wedding."
"You're gonna keep using the wedding as leverage huh?"
"I didn't mean to.. I mean, the wedding is happening babe... I don't want you to think its something I'm just dangling before you to keep you distracted." I apologized.
"Thats what its starting to feel like."
"The last thing I want is for you to feel like that babe.. can we- can we just talk?" I turned to him.
"We are talking"
"No, I mean-" I touched his arm and sat on the bed, "sit with me, and lets actually talk."
He exhaled heavily and sat across from me, "okay?"
"So.. I want you to be happy. And I know that for you that means a big family and a big wedding." I began, "And you know that I would give you all of that plus more if I could."
"And you can, you just don't want to."
"I can't babe. I can not be your personal baby factory.. thats not fair to me." I shot back, "And honestly, I am slowly reaching that age where healthy babies are pretty hit or miss, and the idea of possibly losing a child scares the shit out of me."
"You're not my personal baby factory-"
"So, I was wondering how important it was for you that our big family share the same DNA?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean.. I would love to consider adoption."
"Adoption?"
"There are so many kids out there, with no families or families who didn't want them.. we could grow our family and give them a family at the same time." I explained, and to really sell my point I added, "I just thought.. since I pretty much grew up without a family.. the best feeling was when Lydia's family accepted me as their own.. and yeah."
"So you pretty much had this all planned out, which is why you already set for the birth control thing.."
"The birth control had nothing to do with anything.. Even if i wanted to get pregnant.. I wouldn't want kids so close in age. I was on birth control before we were together, not because I was afraid Lydia would get me pregnant, but because I knew that shit happens in life.. and I am fucking traumatized by the amount of times I've been raped or sexually assaulted and I can not imagine something like that happening and me having to carry their baby. And it killed me to know Vanessa had to go through that, and that everyday she looks at her kids she will be reminded of her attack, and I just.. I can't handle that possibility." I confessed, causing tears to come to my eyes.
"I'm not gonna let anything happen to you Nic"
"You cant protect me Aubrey." I shook my head.
"Because you won't let me!"
"You cant! And you didn't." I said.
"What are y-" he paused when he realized what I was referring to. "That was different.."
"Do you realize.. that if Lydia hadn't happened to have walked in that night, that it could've been me having that man's children instead of Vanessa?" I whispered through my tears.
"Dont think that way.."
"She was raped because of me. She is a mother because of me. I ruined-"
"That wasn't your fault! That fucking prick is the one who did those things! He is the only one responsible!"
I felt myself fall into a trance as my words spilled out and I no longer heard his rebuttals.
Sometimes I sit and wonder if he followed me to her apartment that night.. if I was his target, and he just settled for her because it was easier.
The police said he used her to get to me, and honestly that was no better.
Either way you spin it, it was indirectly my fault.
They flowed like a river and continued to the point where I was no longer hearing myself either.
I woke up in bed alone, it was still night, I was confused and dizzy..
"Aubrey?" I called out as I stood up from the bed. The door opened slowly and Aubrey came in, followed by Lydia.
"How ya feeling?" Lydia asked, lingering by the doorway with her hands shoved in the pockets of her adidas sweatpants.
"You were pretty far gone.. so I called for back up." He touched my arm.
"Have you talked to your therapist about Vanessa's attack?"
"Why? That really sounds like a problem for her therapist not mine." I scoffed.
"Because of all the things you were saying-"
"What did I say?"
"You tranced because of the guilt you put on yourself for her attack.. Nic thats not healthy, you can't blame yourself for someone else's actions. People's actions are a reflection of themselves and their coping abilities." Lydia lectured. "He was supposed to handle his failures better, and he didn't. If a drunk driver hits your car you blame the drunk driver, because it was their bad decisions.. not yours that caused the accident."
"I know that.. but its just that part of me that still feels partially responsible."
"We can accept partial." Lydia shrugged.
"You came all the way here because he called? What time is it?" I asked, wrapping my arms around Aubrey.
"Its only like 11, and you know I'll always drop everything for you." Lydia folded her arms.
"Well, thank you for everything.. as always." I smiled, "I could never take you for granted."
"I should head back home before Anita thinks she is missing out on another one of our famous threesomes." She joked.
"Yeah, lesson learned." I scrunched my nose.
"See you in the morning, bright and early." She smiled.
"Wait." I ran up to her and hugged her. "At least let me walk you to the door."
"I'm not some house guest Nic.. I used to live here remember?"
"Yeah I know. But still." I clung to her as we walked downstairs.
"You sure you're good?" She asked at the front door.
"I had an episode.. I'm better now thanks to you." I smiled.
"Temporary fixes remember.. you need to talk to your therapist about it okay?"
"Yeah okay"
"Promise?"
"Yes MOM." I rolled my eyes.
"Love you babe." she hugged me once more.
"Love you too."
After I watched her pull off, I went upstairs to where Aubrey was sitting on the bed.
"I'm sorry." He said as I entered.
"What did you do?"
"For causing that-"
"Like she said, you cant blame yourself for other people's inability to cope. That wasnt your fault."
"I mean the whole conversation. I wasn't being fair about anything."
"I should've at least given you a heads up about the birth control thing. Not just the last minute bs"
"Its fine babe."
"You should know, that I wholeheartedly planned on us getting married, and by the time the IUD ran up, I would have psyched myself enough to give you one more child. I know thats not a lot to you, but I'm being realistic." I told him.
"Get your thing tomorrow.. and we'll plan the wedding instead.." he kissed my forehead.
"We can make it as big as you want, as long as you are actively helping to plan it." I poked his nose.
"I only want it big so that it can be truly special for you babe." He told me. "You deserve the world, I just want it to be perfect for you."
"As long as it ends with us being husband and wife, its perfect." I smiled.
Hey everyone! Hope your summer is awesome!