I wrote it all in a book.
My secret and lies you took.
I broke down with that one look
And me you did not forsook.
I told you my secret-my want to die
And the fact that i lie.
I lied about me not crying.
I lied about me not trying.
Before i could stop my tears...
I told you most of my fears...
I hoped you wouldn't pry
And i tried to keep my eyes dry.
I didn't want to show an emotion
Or make it all non-fiction.
I wanted to shut my lip.
For the secrets and lies i wanted to zip.
But it all came out.
You knew my lies
but not what it's about.
Everyday,my happiness dies.
I felt alone.
My tears shone.
I want to be a stone
So you can't read me.
I wanted your memories gone
As the deed was done.
I gave you the book of my feelings.
You read it with a few seattings.
I asked if you would keep it a secret
And you said it was all set.
I trusted you as i wanted to lighten the burden.
The burden of what i felt deepen.
I said i was alright
Now but i wasn't sure.
My life did not feel bright
As there is no cure.
No cure to the deep feeling inside
Me that i want to hide.
No cure to the hideous me
That i can't let you see.
At times i hope my mind clears.
No more sadness or fears.
My wall or cupboard i sometimes hit...
It is so in front of you i won't throw a fit...
A lie is a lie... But there are different types.
We say them with different hypes.
We try to make is seem true.
Forgetting our own value.
We lie for them to not see the truth.
We lie to seem like an innocent youth.
Not wanting them to see what is real
We make our own deal.
Don't tell or trust anyone.
Whatever said is set and done.
Never tell anybody.
Don't rely on somebody.
You will be fine
As long as you stay on the line.
Don't tell anyone anything.
You must stop yourself from speaking.
Do not reveal your secret
And lies. Their kindess do not let
Them in. Supress your emotions
And they won't ask questions.
Keeping them from knowing
The truth. It is not to play a game.
It is all to not feel shame.
But i feel like my brokeness is showing.
My fabricated deceptive lies are coming out.
Some people are starting to know about
It. I don't want them to ask me
Questions. I want them to let me be.
I want them to listen
And let my tears glisten.
So many questions and have to answer.
Making my sadness into anger.
Making my illusion
Into a confusion.
My own 'tricks' deceive
Me. I couldn't make them believe.
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Hiii hiii!