"What're you talking about?" Oliver asked.
"Clark, its us. Barry, Oliver, Laura." I shook my head, putting a hand on Barry's shoulder.
"I don't think that's Clark." I told him. "Let me guess...Deegan."
"Clever girl," Dark Superman answered, "Your confusion lies with me."
"The Monitor gave you the book back?" Oliver asked.
"And showed me how to really use it."
"You can't just write yourself as a hero. It doesn't work that way." Barry told him.
"Doesn't it, though? You and Laura were struck by lightening, I was given the book by a higher power. Both random acts of chance. But this...this is my destiny, so much more than become the Flash or Skyrocket was ever yours."
"Circumstances don't make you a hero!" I yelled. "Real heroes are heroes no matter what the stakes are!" He scoffed
"You're just a cheap knockoff." Oliver stated.
"Oh, I'm anything but cheap." He shot heat vision past us, hitting the bottom of the giant crane that towered above us, causing it to creak ominously and tilt back and forth. "And just wait till you see what other fun changes I've made. You your family, your friends. There is no safe harbor for you. This is no longer your world. Its mine!" He stomped on the ground, sending a pile of cracking concrete towards us and sending all three of us flying into a pile of buckets as the crane tilted above us.
"Guys, I have an idea." Oliver groaned, looking down at the gun beside Barry. Barry shoved it towards him, and we stood up while Oliver pointed the gun at him.
"Idiot. I'm bulletproof."
"I know." He turned, shooting the last thing that was holding up the Crane, causing it to begin falling towards a school group.
"You wanna be Earth's hero? Save the children or stop us."
"The choice is yours, Superman." I spat. He flew away, thankfully to stop the crane. I sighed."Looks like its time to play the part again." We began running.
"Being bad makes me feel bad." Barry said.
"The crane gag was harmless. It would've landed in an empty parking lot." We paused behind a roadwork vehicle.
"Still, doing something like that on purpose, I think I'm gonna puke. I'm..." He gagged. We heard the sound of screeching wheels and a police siren. "Oh, I'm ok, I'm ok."
"Barry, listen to me. If Deegan wants to be the hero, than we need to let him. You need to pull yourself together and think like a criminal."
"We also need to find out how extensive this reality change is and we need to get off the streets. Come on."
"I can't get anything to come up, I can't..." Oliver and I took off running down the street again. "Wait up! I have a plan!"
~~~
We walked into a building I recognized as Cisco's apartment complex.
"Ok, we get Cisco, breach to Earth thirty-eight, find real Superman."
"That's the plan."
"However, keep in mind, Deegan said he screwed everything up and that no one would help us, so how do we know if Cisco will agree? Or can even still breach for that matter?" I asked. We looked around, and Oliver went to a door labeled One-A. We walked through it but suddenly found ourselves on some weird panel floating in space.
"Lady and gentlemen," The monitor said, coming into view. "Its time we talked about your destiny. I must confess, my interest is piqued. You posses neither power nor abilities yet still managed to outwit an opponent with the powers of a super man."
"Its just one word. Superman." Barry told him.
"And for the record, having powers doesn't mean anything if you don't have the critical thinking skills to back them up."
"What is this?" Oliver asked. "Hmm? If you're testing us, then let us get back to it."
"Oliver Queen, a man who channels his hubris and anger and calls it strength. Are you truly that eager to die? No. Not eager. But willing. Ready to. Good. There might be hope for this universe yet."
"If that's supposed to be a pep talk, I've had better." Barry said.
"Self-sacrifice alone will not see you through this trial. Survival will only be found by knowing your true self or this world will be doomed...like all the others."
"Ok, that's enough." The Monitor waved his hand and we were suddenly back in the hallway again.
"Well that was very glass-half-empty" Barry pointed out.
"We need to find Cisco." Oliver said.
"Well guys, think about it, if we're bad guys, it would only make sense that the rest of our normally good-guy friends are too."
"Sure. You two are CCPD. Where do criminals hang out in this city?" I nodded.
"I know just the place." I told them.
~~~
We walked into the bar, and it was for sure, full of criminals. Criminals who were side-eyeing us and backing out of the way once we got close.
"Are they all afraid of us?" Barry asked.
"Go with it. Play the part." I said through my teeth.
"This is a terrible idea."
"You keep saying that."
"And yet here we are anyway."
"The only obstacles there are for a quote 'hero' is a bad guy, which in this world is us, so this is where we're gonna find the help that we need, you got it Barry?" I asked. We stopped in front of the bar.
"Oh my gosh, the trigger triplets!" The bartender said. "Sorry, I'm just a huge fan of your criminal history. You guys are my heroes. Well, not heroes. Legends."
"That's cute. Specs over here says we're heroes." I said, leaning on the bar. He laughed nervously.
"Can I get you guys something?" He asked, very clearly attracted to me. I decided to use this to my advantage.
"Some information?" I suggested, tracing a finger up his forearm that was exposed by his rolled up sleeves. "We need to find Cisco Ramon." He leaned closer to me.
"You mean the boss?"
"Whatever you want to call him." He glanced to the side and we followed his gaze, spotting Cisco in a corner booth counting money.
"Thanks a lot, Specs." I blew him a kiss, making my way over to Cisco without hesitation.
"Laura, what are you doing?" Barry whispered.
"Playing the part, how many times do I have to go through this?" I asked. I walked over to Cisco, putting my hands down on the table.
"We need to talk." I said.
"Make an appointment with my assistant. I should have an opening around 'go screw yourself'."
"Well, that's all menacing and all Cisco, but I don't really have the time to be reenacting the Godfather. We need your help."
"Look, I don't know who you think you are, but around here, people call me Mr. Ramon."
"You got a problem here, Mr. Ramon?" I furrowed my eyebrows, turning around to see Jimmy Olsen, and right by his side...Ralph. That once caught me off guard a bit.
"Case in point. Jimmy, Ralph, I think they Pet Shop Boys here need an education in how things work around here."
"I don't think that should be a problem." Ralph said, stepping up directly in front of me. "It'd be a shame to mess up such a pretty face though." Ralph grabbed my chin, and despite me instincts, I smacked it away, moving his arm and clasping a hand around his throat.
"Touch me again, beanpole. Seriously, I dare you." I said.
"Look, we don't want any trouble." Barry said.
"We just have a business proposal for Mr. Ramon."
"Business proposal. I'm gonna pass. You see, I like watching my people put the beating on other people. So..."
"So I guess we got that in common." Jimmy said. "They don't call me Superman's worst friend for nothing."
"We've got this, right?" Barry whispered.
"Totally."
~~~
Barry and Oliver went flying over my head, crashing into a long table and flipping it as they went. That left the four of them just looking at me. I crossed my arms.
"We gonna dance or what?" I asked. Both Jimmy and Ralph whipped out a baton.
"Stop, Stop, Stop." Cisco said. "Boys, what are you thinking? What are you gonna kill 'em here, now? Gary's still cleaning up from the last mess you made, Clockwork Orange." No matter what reality we're in, Cisco's still coming up with his clever little nicknames. Wait...
"Survival will only be found by knowing your true self."
"Do 'em out in the alley."
"Would now be a bad time to mention that we knew your brother Dante?" I asked, just as Ralph and Jimmy started pulling us away.
"Stop. Hold up." They stopped pulling us away. "How'd you know Dante."
"Its a long story, one that we really don't have the time to tell you. But, needless to say, if he were here right now, he would tell you to listen to what we have to say." I looked at Oliver.
"How'd you like to get rid of Superman?" He asked.
~~~
"Alright, I've got ledgers to keep and miles to go before I sleep, so talk fast." Cisco said, leading us into his office.
"Right, first, we need to know if you can vibe." Oliver said. Cisco shoved a bunch of stuff off of his desk.
"Teleport. Open a breath. You can still do that, right?"
"Rhetorical question, how do you think I got into all those bank vaults?" He sat down. "But you three...you didn't know that. You came in here not knowing if I could do what you thought I could do. That's very risky."
"Risky is kind of all we have at this point." I told him.
"Please keep giving me more reasons to not do business with you."
"Alright, listen. You could use your powers for so much more than breaking into bank vaults." Oliver said.
"Go back to the part about taking down Super-douche. That's the part I wanna hear."
"We're gonna get to that." He pointed to Barry and I.
"For now, the two of us could teach you how to use your powers to get to a whole different Earth." Barry told him.
"A whole different Earth," He repeated, taking a sip of his drink. "Tell me more. But do us all a favor and let Rizzo here do the talking."