John laid on his bed, staring at the hotel ceiling, it was white, with little diamond patterns subtly outlining it. He laid there thinking, missing Mimi, Julia, missing his house and all around missing Liverpool. He missed the feeling of being truly cared for that he once had; so very long ago.
Even though it he had his bandmates and his adoring fans, it really wasn't the same for him. And you—- Although he knew he loved you, he had to deny it. You might'as well've been Macca's bird. He knew Paul had it bad for little Eppy, and he could only figure that you felt the same way.
After all, what girl could resist sweet, good mannered, pretty faced Paulie? Well he certainly wished you could. But after all, what did he have to offer? An ugly face, an even worse personality, and some bottom of the barrel musical "talents". Hardly met his standards for you. You where absolutely perfect in John's eyes, not that he didn't see your faults.
After all this was more than some school boy crush. He loved you, he could just see past your faults. Even though you could be a bit rash and easily stressed out. He wanted to hold you forever, feel his skin on yours, be able to kiss you for as long as he wanted, your hands in his soft auburn hair, his wrapped gently but tightly around your waist. Pulling you ever closer to him.
How could he ever deserve someone as wonderful as you? You'd always been there to talk to him, taken care of him and the boys through thick and thin, all those late nights with you working hard right along side them, and then making sure everyone got home safe. Just to do it all again the next day. You where perfect. Just absolutely perfect.
A single tear rolled down his small honey brown eye, as he stared at the diamond patterns on the white hotel ceiling once more. Just wanting to be loved. But always seeming to fail.