Songs for this chapter: - like that - Bea Miller
- Let Me Get Me - Selena Gomez
I look in the mirror one more time and I smile satisfied. I run my hand over the skirt, pulling it down a little bit. I fix my white shirt which was stuffed under my skirt and then i look down at my black sneakers. I've spent only half an hour getting ready and I think I look pretty good. I don't want to show too much because that's simply not me, but I also don't want to be too withdrawn.
I turn around and I take my purse, then I leave the room and I close the door behind me.
I made up my mind about the party only an hour ago. The only thing I was sure of is that I wasn't going to please Jake; from there, it wasn't so hard to make a decision. I didn't want to stay home while he was out there having fun with his girlfriend. I wanted to be there. I wanted to breath down his neck the entire night. All just to make sure he knows he does not control me.
I leave my purse on the kitchen counter and I walk towards the fridge to get a bottle of water. I turn around and I almost scream when I see Jake leaning on the counter and looking at me. He has the same amount of hate in his eyes as he did a while ago.
"What makes you think you're going to that party?" he asks raising an eyebrow.
"What makes you think I'm not going to that party?" I smile trying to step a little bit more on his nerves. I'm just getting started. "I was invited. I don't have plans. And I feel like having some fun. I don't see any reason why I shouldn't go."
He rolls his eyes then takes a few steps towards me and looks me dead in the eyes.
"I'm done being your chauffeur, love."
I roll my eyes then pass by him and take my phone out of my purse and without any hesitation I call Nate.
"Hi." I say when he answers.
"Nicole? Hi. Is everything alright? Did Jake try to strangle you?" he laughs.
I roll my eyes again and I turn around so I can look at Jake. He is looking at me. He is frowned. He is curious.
"Actually... I was wondering if you could pick me up."
He is tense now.
"I'll be there in 2 minutes." he says and I hear a car door close.
I end the call and I put the phone back in my purse. I look at Jake and I can see that he is tense. He hates this. He hates that I don't depend on him, that he doesn't control me.
He picks up his keys off the counter and passes by me on his way out of the house.
I'm so done with him.
I take my stuff off the counter too and I leave the house. When I get out all I see is Jake's car leaving and Nate's parking in his spot.
"Hi. Thanks for giving me a ride." I say when I get in the car.
"No problem. Is everything alright with Warren?"
I noticed that most of people refer to Jake by his last name. Usually that's some kind of way to show respect. But I doubt that's why. He had never done anything that could disserve even a little bit of respect.
"Yeah. Just some pride and stubbornness. The usual." I answer jumping my shoulders.
The entire car ride we sang to old songs and joked around. We flirted with each other and he didn't hesitate to make fun of me and the entire situation with Jake. He made me feel better. And it was so easy.
"Are you ready to party?" he asks excited when he parks the car in front of a house.
"Sure." I say jumping my shoulders, which makes him frown. "I mean... Yes!" I shout faking some excitement.
I am excited for the party. At the first party I went to here I met a lot of amazing people. I have a feeling that it might not happen again... But maybe I will have some fun. I came here for that. Well, for that and to prove Jake I don't care about him and that he has no power over me.
He tells me to wait then gets out of the car and comes and opens my door. He gives me his hand and helps me get out of the car.
"I feel like I'm walking you down the aisle." he whispers to me.
"Already seeing me in a wedding dress?" I laugh.
"A guy can only dream."
He tosses his hand over my shoulder and we walk into the house laughing and "planning" our wedding. On our way he trips and almost falls. I catch him and we start laughing even harder. I look up from the ground and I see Jake looking at us. He has the same contemptuous look as always.
The darkness in his eyes hypnotizes me and for a second everything stops. Nothing else exists but him. Not even me. I don't exist. Just because I feel like he wouldn't want me to exist. For an entire second he is the center of the Universe. And for just a second, I'm ok with that.
*
"I think you should take it slower." says Kelly taking the plastic cup I was holding.
"Kelly, sweetie..." I say tossing my hand over her shoulder. "I won't get drunk from only two drinks. I'm tougher than that."
Kelly starts to laugh.
I start looking around the room and I flinch when I see him looking at me. There is no hate, or disgust anymore. He is just... looking at me. And he intimidates me by doing that. I turn my head and I look at the cup in my hand.
"I'm done drinking." I mumble and I spill the liquid in the sink.
"What?" Kelly looks at me confused.
"Don't ask. Just be glad." I say then I grab her hand. "Let's dance. I want to dance."
We blend into the crowd and dance along the rhythm of the songs. I move my hips, my hands and feet untill I feel I can't breath anymore. But I'm ok with that. I'm ok because I'm having fun with my friends. With my best friends. And I don't care if Jake is looking at me. I don't care if anybody is looking at me. I don't care if they are laughing at me. All I care about is that I'm feeling good, thoughtless... happy.
"I can't!" Kelly yells making sure I can hear her over the music. She leans over the kitchen counter and grabs a drink.
"Come on! It's fun! We're having fun!" I say still dancing around, trying to convince her.
"Someone is having fun!"
I turn around to see who is talking to me, but I wish I wouldn't have done that when I see Ashley. She is wearing a short and tight black dress. She is so hot. I hate her.
"Hi." I answer even though she didn't say anything.
"I didn't know you can dance like that."
"Yeah... You don't know a lot of things about me, Ashley." I smile like it's a win.
"We're playing a game. Care to join us?"
"We'd love to!"
She smiles and starts walking and we follow her.
"It will be fine." says Kelly when I look at her a little worried.
*
I've lost the counts of the minutes I've been sitting on this couch, of the kisses, of the rounds and of the stupid jokes I've heard. All I know is that I've kissed two different guys. I can say I'm pretty lucky considering they were both pretty respectful to me. And I also know that Jake's been watching me the entire time. Probably judging me. He does not take part of the game. He just watches and sometimes makes-out with Ashley.
The bottle is spinning again and this time it stops in front of Kelly. She is kissing Matthew for the third time in a row. She's enjoying it. I can tell. But she doesn't cross any line. Neither does he.
I look at Jake again and I see him smile. Like he is proud of Matthew. Why would he be proud that his best friend is kissing a girl? Maybe Matthew likes her.
Not likely.
She comes back to her seat and I look at her trying not to say anything. Her face is all red and her lips are a little bit swollen. But I'm still not saying anything.
I look at the bottle spinning and I feel my heart skip a beat when it stops in front of me. I look up trying to figure out who I'm supposed to kiss this time. Everybody is looking at Kyle and his friends start to make weird sounds and some of them push him off the couch and towards me. He comes to me and holds out his hand, waiting for me to grab it. And I do it. I stop listening to what everybody says and does. He puts his other hand on my right cheek and gets closer until his lips touch mine. At first he is gentile. Until I answer back. Then he lets go of my hand and moves his in my hair, pulling me closer. His lips taste like beer and cigarette and I don't know if I like it. But I don't hate it. I don't mind him kissing me. Not until his tongue tries to sneak into my mouth and takes me by surprise. That's when I take a step back. Instinctively, I look at Jake but I don't see him standing where he was before I closed my eyes.
"I changed my mind. I need a drink." I say while grabbing Kelly off the couch.
"Are you ok?" she asks behind me.
"I'm great. Just need a break from that stupid game. Hi, Nate!" I say when I stop next to him for a drink.
"What happened to you guys? You look just like you got out of a threesome." he laughs making us kick him.
*
"Do you trust him?" I ask Nate while we're looking at Kelly and Matthew over the pool.
"I don't even know at this point." he sighs. "I mean, she seems happy. But he's not too trust worthy."
"Then why are we still here? Let's go save our girl." I say getting up from my seat.
"Calm down, little worrier." he says pulling me back down. "Which part from "He makes her happy" you do not get?"
"The one were you said he is not trustable." I sigh and lean my head over his shoulder. "I don't want her to get hurt."
"She won't. We're here for her. She knows that."
He looks down in his phone and mumbles a "Shit" between his teeth.
"Is everything alright?" I asks and he suddenly gets tense.
"Yeah... All good."
"Then what's with the "Shit"?" I imitate him.
"Just, someone I've been talking with..." he mumbles avoiding to make eye-contact with me.
"Someone who made you this tense with only one text. That someone seems pretty important." I tease him.
"He's not." he immediately answers.
"He's not. Ok. If you say so..." I say trying not to show how excited I really am.
"It's just..." he continues. "We've been talking lately... And now he wants us to go on a date. But I don't know if I'm ready for that."
"Why not?"
"Because I didn't come out yet." he mumbles and looks at me frowned. "Have you even been listening to me?"
"Of course I have. It's just... You just did... Come out... To me..."
"Well... Yeah... It's you. You're my friend. Not the entire world."
"I'm not? Ok then... I see no point in us getting married afterall..." I say pretending to be heartbroken and he laughs and rolls his eyes. "I get that it's complicated and stressful... But you don't have to come out now. You can go out with him and not come out. You don't have to do anything you're not ready to do. Just take your time."
"Ok... But if..."
"No buts and no ifs!" I say raising my voice.
"Yes m'am!" he says saluting like a soldier.
"Fuck off."
"Thank you."
We say at the same time.
"What for?"
"Just thank you."
"You're welcome. Now tell me about him. I need to know everything."
"There's not much to say. His name is Robin. He's 19 and a freshman in college. And we live in the same neighborhood. That's it." he raises his shoulders.
"Wow. Ok."
We both turn our heads around when we see people screaming and jumping in the pool. I see Jake and Matthew jump into the pool and starting to splash water everywhere. I can't help but smile when I see how happy he is. I look at Kelly and she seems just as happy as me. She cares about him. I can see that. If only he would care about her just as much as she does.
"Kelly seems happy." says Nate smiling.
I realized that I love his smile. He has some wrinkles around his mouth which make him seem so charming. His blue eyes are so bright and kind... and his messy brown hair which he's too lazy to give attention to... He's handsome. Really handsome.
"Why are you looking at me like that?" he asks when he realizes I was staring at him.
"I just realized I lost my husband." I say making a sad face.
"Uhm, Nicole..." I raise my eyebrows. "I'm bisexual. Not gay."
"Oh, thank God!" I sigh relieved making him laugh. "Don't laugh. I made wedding plans."
"Which I will faithfully respect." he laughs again.
"You better."
We turn our heads again when we hear Kelly jump into the water.
"I think we should take her home." I say and Nate approves.
We take Kelly out of the pool and Nate puts his jacket on her shoulders. We get in the car and Nate starts driving. On our way to Kelly's house, he has to stop twice because Kelly has to vomit.
"Look at us... We already have a daughter." he says after we get back in the car after we dropped Kelly home.
"If only my daughter wouldn't have been drunk... It would truly be a dream come true." I say making him laugh.
I hug Nate when he stops in front of my house and I thank him for everything he did tonight. I didn't think I would end up having this much fun at this party.
I slowly close the door behind me, making sure I'm not making too much noise. I go into the kitchen and I almost scream when I see Jake standing in front of the fridge with the door open.
"When the hell did you get here?" I ask but he completely ignores me. "Fine. Don't talk to me. I don't care." I give up and leave the room.
"Of course you don't. You have enough boys around you to give you attention."
I stop walking and I come back into the kitchen when I hear what he just said.
"What was that?"
"I'm sorry, did I use too big words for you?" he mocks me.
"Don't be a dick."
"I don't think you would actually mind that, would you?"
"What the hell is your problem?" I raise my voice pissed.
"You, princess. You are my problem."
"Excuse me?" I say and he rolls his eyes annoyed. "Ok. That's it. I had enough of you and your attitude. You've been a dick to me since the first day I got here. And you didn't even know me. You treat me like you have the right to control me; like you're better than me. Which is not true. And don't even get me started on what happened with your mom. It's not my fault you couldn't... actually didn't want to keep a simple promise you made to your mother. Blaming what happened on me... just proves how immature you are." I didn't stutter, I didn't stop, and I didn't let myself get intimidated by him. Because he doesn't intimidate me.
"First of all, princess, I am not immature. I just hate being lied and betrayed, which is exactly what you did..."
"I'm sorry?" I interrupt him. "How the hell did I lie and betray you? We didn't even talk or spend any time together so you can say I have something on you. In any way. And even if I would've done something like that, there's still no reason for you to treat me this way, to talk to me the way you do, or to disrespect me like that. That's what kids do."
"I treat people the way they deserve to be treated. You are a fucking princess who thinks the entire world is made of unicorns and rainbows. I hate that. I hate how innocent you want to seem. I hate how delicate you pretend to be. You're a fucking princess. You're the foreign girl who is just getting to know the real world. Well let me tell you something, princess, the world is just a massive bunch of shit. But that's not the worst part. The worst part is people like you. You want me to treat you differently? Stop being a fucking princess." he yells in my face.
"First of all..." I scream trying to cover his voice. "I am not a princess." I say between my teeth. "Second of all, you don't have the right to judge me like this. You don't have the right to tell me what to do or who to be. If you don't like me, you can simply be a grown ass man and don't treat me like shit. I'm no one's puppet. You don't get to manipulate me the way you want to. I hate you too. I hate the way you treat people, I hate the way you behave and the way you do things. I hate you. But you don't see me treat you like shit. I simply don't give a damn about you. Because I am a grown ass woman. And I can do that. Comparing to you."
I get my stuff and I leave the kitchen, not giving him any other chance to speak.
I had enough of him. I do hate him. He treats people like he is the most important in the world, like no one else matters, all when he is just an idiot. I have no reason to just put up with his shit. I'm better than that. I don't care what he thinks of me; or who he wants me to be. Just like I officially don't care about him.