NICKI POV
When I got home, the triplets were already asleep, Aubrey was watching TV in the living room.
"Hey babe." I said as I came in the door.
"Hey, how was work?" He asked.
"Busy.. how was your day?" I took my jacket off and hung it on the hook.
"Eh, it was pretty chill. They didn't nap so they were ready for bed early tonight." He faced me. "Did you eat?"
"No, are you down to talk?" I put my purse beside him and straddled his lap.
"Do you wanna grab something to eat first?"
"I'm not really hungry," I kissed his neck.
"Okay, well what did you want to talk about?" His hands roamed my body.
"Depends, do you want the good or the bad first?" I continued to kiss his neck.
"Bad I guess."
I pulled away and sighed, "well, apparently your daughter resents me."
"What makes you think that?" He scrunched his nose.
"She gave Lydia a whole spiel of all the things she hates about me, or that annoys her and how she pretty much thinks I'm full of shit." I paraphrased. "She also feels a little neglected by both of us, since we always have the triplets but she and OJ stay with Lydia."
"I'll talk to her." He replied, there was tension in his voice, I could tell he was pissed.
"No, I'll text her and see if she wants to go out for dinner tomorrow night. Just the two of us, to talk it out."
"No, you're not rewarding her for being disrespectful Nic." He shook his head.
"Its not a reward, but I want to have the chance to be on the same page with her."
"She can talk to you here or at Lydia's. But you are not taking her out."
"Are you telling me?" I touched my chest.
"Consider it a compromise.. if it were up to me, there wouldn't be a 'talk' happening. She'd be grounded until she knows how to act." He looked me in the eye as he spoke.
"You can't force someone to change how they feel."
"She can feel how ever she wants, when she is an adult. But as long as she is still legally a child, and still under our care-"
I couldn't help but giggle slightly at his speech.
"What?" He stopped.
"I just, didn't pin you to be a stricter parent than me. But its kind of really hot, seeing you all worked up and domineering." I confessed, biting my lip as I shifted my position on his lap slightly.
"Oh?"
"Yeah. But I'll accept the compromise, I won't take her out." I pecked his lips, "And I respect your preferred approach to this situation."
"Thanks." His arms snaked around my waist.
"Let me text her before I forget." I pulled away and reached my phone out of my purse. The papers from Lydia were in the way so I handed them to him, "a gift from Lydia, in light of her helping me come to the realization that I was being completely irrational in my objection to teaching the babies French yesterday."
"Really?" He looked at them as I texted Aaliyah.
O: Hey hun, I talked to Lydia.. she told me about your talk you had with her this morning about me. She didn't give me explicit details, why don't you and I do dinner either at Lydia's or over here so we can talk. Let me know ❤️😘
"Okay, I texted her." I looked up at him.
"This is a lot of information." He flipped through the papers.
"I figured we both can look through them together, she said there's some on how to teach your baby a language without knowing it yourself.. so like, you can help out I guess." I explained, I fondled my phone in my hands, feeling antsy about how long it was taking Aaliyah to respond.
I messaged Lydia,
O: Hey, I tried texting Liyah.. can you find out if she's seen it yet? So I know if she's ignoring me intentionally or just hasn't seen it.
She replied almost instantly,
L: She's at her friend's house 'doing homework'.. she's due to come home no later than 8. Don't worry.
O: yeah okay. Thanks babe ❤️
O: and how's my baby boy? 🥰
L: just got him tucked in, I think you should come over tomorrow. He might be due for a Mommy visit.
O: Are you hosting?
L: sure why not
O: I'll bring the wine!
L: of course.
O: ok, ima go... and enjoy my night in with my S.O. 😝😏
O: Love you babe! 😘❤️
L: love you too ❤️
"Everything okay?" Aubrey asked.
"Yeah, Liyah's apparently at a friend's house.. so there's no way of knowing if she saw my text or not. And, we're all doing dinner at Lydia's tomorrow night so I can spend some time with OJ, see Zoe and Anita, talk to Liyah, etc." I filled him in.
"Sounds crowded."
"Well, its a family dinner. Because you guys are all my family now." I smiled. "I didn't get to really do things like this, but now I have you guys."
"So am I just grouped together with Anita now?" He teased.
"You're different, I don't get to have sex with her whenever I want." I giggled.
He put the papers on the table beside us, "really? Thats all?"
Before I could respond, I got a text message from Blaire:
B: Hey, I couldn't get her to reconsider... but the article is up as of now. I just read it, its not so bad but not necessarily great either. Heres the link..
O: thanks for trying. And for the heads up. I'll check it out.
"Blaire's friend, the blogger or whatever, apparently wrote some shit about me in her latest article." I told Aubrey, "maybe its national hate Nicki day and no one told me."
I opened the twitter app:
- Hey loves ❤️
- Time to read this article and see how badly she twisted my words 😌 In other news, how's your day going?
I laid across Aubrey's lap as I read the article and he went back to reading the papers Lydia gave us. It started off pretty fine despite a few jabs here and there, it just briefed the fact that we had a weekend getaway to Canada. I even chuckled at the mention of my apparent lack of a personal life. She talked about my apparently controversial sexual identity, bashing me for not identifying as bi.
"It says 'What kind of fiancée purposely leads her fiancé to losing his company so that she can take over it while forcing him into bankruptcy so that he is stuck having to feed off of her and her wealth? Obviously someone who uses an overrated childhood trauma storyline to back her so-called low self esteem, all while manipulating others into stroking her ego. You would think her now unemployed future husband would be more than qualified for a high position in one of her now two companies, yet somehow he remains jobless.' Wow." I read aloud.
"Thats... inaccurate."
"Wait there's more," I patted his lap, "So 'Maraj seems unbothered by the idea of knowingly potentially marrying a man, who not only was still legally married when they began dating, but has a history of being unfaithful in his relationships. Its almost as if she wants to add a failed marriage to her storyline. Inferences can be made about the fact that Maraj is beginning to use her new media presence as a platform for self benefit, and sympathy to solicit more attention to her business. When asked in an interview about advocating for victims of sexual assault, among other causes, she answered 'no'. Apparently, expanding her business is more important than taking a stand. Its clear where her loyalty lies.'" I paused.
"Maybe you should stop reading that." Aubrey suggested.
I read to myself as he spoke, "Its almost over."
"How do you feel?" He asked.
"I haven't processed it emotionally yet." I shrugged after finishing the article, I forwarded it to Lydia.
"You mean you haven't gotten Lydia's opinion yet." He corrected.
"Its not like that-"
"You consult her about everything Nic."
"She helps me synthesis and think clearly, and acknowledge my feelings." I argued.
"Is that a fancy way of saying you need her approval all the time?"
"No. Plus she only approves things that are beneficial to me in the long run.. like choosing you over her in the first place."
"Seems like every chance she gets, she'll threaten to leave just so you're forced to beg her not to go."
"Okay honestly.. She isn't threatening me when that happens. She is threatening you. And its because you two bicker so much, not only is it exhausting for her but she knows I hate it." I explained.
"How is she threatening me?"
"Because you know that I hate when it gets to that point." I shrugged. "But its not to hurt me, she knows that as long as you're with me.. I'm still gonna feel safe and loved."
"Its still bullshit." He rolled his eyes.
"I can make her stop doing it." I proposed.
"Oh really?"
"If it bothers you that much, say it, it'll be done as of tomorrow." I nodded.
"Okay yeah. It bothers me." He admitted. "So what you're gonna go to her and tell her I was bitching about her?"
"No, but it will be taken care of." I assured him.
"I just want to know how you're gonna say it."
"Why does it matter?"
"Curiosity." He said slightly aggressively.
"I mean, I shouldn't have said that."
"Said what?"
"Asking you Why does it matter.. it was insensitive." I apologized.
"Nic."
"No, because I don't want you to be insensitive about the little things that bother me, so I owe you the same respect." I nodded.
"Thanks?" He scratched the back of his head.
"Do you have anything else you want me to talk to Lydia about tomorrow?"
"Not that I can think of."
"Okay, well if you think of stuff, just let me know." I wrapped my hands around one of his, "I love you."
"I love you too."
"Wanna take this upstairs?"
The next evening came along and Aaliyah had yet to respond to my texts. Aubrey and I packed the triplets into the car. I had gone shopping and gotten everyone gifts which I placed in the trunk. Aubrey drove while I checked twitter on our way to buy the wine I had promised to bring.
- Family dinner tonight, always happy to see all my babies at once. ❤️
People replied, some with 'aww's, others criticized me for not having OJ and Aaliyah, others brought up the article from yesterday.
- Aaliyah and I aren't really speaking right now I guess, but she's safe, happy and comfy with Lydia. OJ is staying there more now as a buddy to our new friend Zoe. Im not just being a bad mom ok?
- I'll address the article in due time. For now, just know a lot was simply misinterpretation. Her opinions are also skewed since she got kicked out of my house in Canada. Bitter people do bitter things.
- I will say, that I've been criticized and demonized a lot in the past few days by many people. Not hurt by it, taking it as a constructive criticism... everyone needs to work on themselves, none of us are perfect.
We pulled up in front of the store, Aubrey went inside while I stayed in the car with the kids who were now sleeping.
- It should be stated that, I nor Lydia, played any part in Aubrey losing his company & consequently losing everything. Why would I even do that??? What is there to gain? More work for myself? Yikes!
- He lost his company because his former-partner didn't think he was keeping up with the work while here in NY. That same partner attempted to rape Lydia and tried to shoot me, in MY house because Lydia found out what he was up to.
- We took over the company because I knew how much Aubrey had put into it, and I knew that if I had it, in some ways he would too.
-He's not employed by me because (1) when I took his company, there was a clause that Aubrey was not to be affiliated with it. (2) I don't think it would be healthy for the relationship if I was his boss. (3) Wont be good for anyone if Lydia was his boss lol.
- I hope me addressing that issue can hold you guys over for a bit about this article.
Among the array of responses, one from Lydia stood out.
_ Wait is this a jab at him or me? I am a great boss to ALL employees lol.
People responded to her tweet:
"Yall ever peep how Lydia only tweets in response to Onika?"
"Aren't yall in like the same room or something?"
"Your friendship is honestly goals!"
I giggled to myself before tweeting.
- For the record, we are NOT together yet. Aubrey & I are still on our way lol. We're not that crazy to tweet from across the table!
People began asking questions about Lydia and I's friendship and co-parenting and what not.
- Lydia and I will always be the best of friends. We will never hurt each other. We will never be separated.
- That said.. stop speculating romantic relationships between us. We both have more to lose than gain from pursuing another romantic relationship. Last time the decision only effected us, this time there are more people involved.. In the hypothetical situation, we wouldn't choose to hurt more people.
"Do you still love each other?"
- Yes, our love is undying and unwavering. And its our love for each other that makes sure neither of us screws up our current relationships.
-Loves, I'm gonna go. Hopefully I'll have a chance to address the article in depth.
When we got to Lydia's, OJ and Zoe were putting together a puzzle on the dining room table.
"Leave it to Nic to show up at my door with a bottle in one hand and a baby in the other." Lydia teased as she took Liam out of my hands.
"Ha ha." I rolled my eyes, sitting the bottle on the kitchen counter.
"Liyah is upstairs cleaning her room, if you wanted to talk to her now..." she offered.
"Where's Anita?" Aubrey asked, letting Ali and Oliver down on the floor.
"On her way home, she should be here in 15 minutes or so." Lydia replied.
"Did you start dinner? Or should I help you out?" I offered.
"You can come help." She beckoned. "Aubrey are you coming as well?"
"Nah.. I'll keep an eye on the kids." He shook his head.
I kissed him before following Lydia into the kitchen. While cooking, I got a chance to mention to Lydia about the talk I had with Aubrey.
"Yeah no problem." She nodded.
"Thanks." I bit my lip.
AUBREY POV
While Nic was helping Lydia cook, I sat on the floor with the triplets. Eventually Anita came in.
"Oh, hi!" She took her jacket off and sat across from me.
"Hey."
"Sorry I'm late. Got stuck at work a while longer than expected." She apologized.
"Its fine, we just got here. Lydia and Nic are in the kitchen." I informed her.
"Do you mind if I stay in here with you?" She asked.
"Sure." I shrugged.
"Does it ever stop being weird? Being their third wheel I mean."
"Nope." I shook my head, "Which is why I am in here."'
"So.. whats it like, dating Nicki?"
"What do you mean?"
"Well, I'm sure you guys are tired of this question. But does it not concern you, that she still identifies as a lesbian?" She wrapped the end of one of her curls around her finger. "I only ask because.. well I'm bi, and I know that I run into a lot of distrust from guys who think that since I'm bi, one day I'll just wake up and decide I don't want to be with a man after all. And vise versa.."
"I mean I guess. Its just as weird for me as it is for everyone else.. the fact that she won't just say she's bi." I shrugged.
"Well, that part isn't really up to you or anyone else to decide. Its her sexuality, its how she identifies. She's with you, and she loves you.. that's what's important."
"So-"
"Sorry, this is not how I wanted this conversation to go." She looked away for a second.
"Well, how did you want it to go?"
"Its just, I've only ever been on the receiving end of it.. and I thought that since you and Nic are at least kind of similar, I could get your opinion.. just to try to understand why its so hard for some people." She explained.
"If its meant to be I guess.. then it'll last. You just have to find someone who trusts you and loves you." I assured her.
"Is that how you feel about Nicki?"
"Yeah." I nodded.
NICKI POV
"You sure you don't want to talk to Aaliyah and get it over with?" Lydia asked.
"What if I fuck up, and dinner is awkward?"
"Ah yes.. because at the moment things won't be awkward?" She nodded sarcastically.
"Ha ha." I rolled my eyes, "I am not equipped to deal with a teenager yet. Which is probably why my biological kids are still young."
"Thats your problem. You say shit like that, you start to believe shit like that, and it starts to show through your actions as well." She lectured, "The faster you stop feeling like you can't the faster you'll realize just how well you can."
"Okay." I nodded.
Upstairs, Liyah's door was partially open. I knocked softly and leaned against the frame. She opened the door and looked at me as if she'd seen a ghost.
"Hey, can we talk?" I offered her a slight smile.
"I have to finish cleaning my room.."
"We can do two things at once." I stepped past her and into her room.
"Okay." She shoved her hands in her pockets.
"So, did you read my text before deciding not to reply? Or-"
"I read it." She looked down at the ground.
"You can relax, I'm not here to yell at you or anything. We just need to make sure we are on the same page.. I've never believed in forcing friendships or relationships of any sort, but I do know that whenever being apart of someone's life is gonna be inevitable, it makes a lot more sense to find a common ground than to be completely miserable around each other." I rambled.
She nodded, "okay."
"I'm gonna stop talking, and I want you to let me know what you're feeling okay?" I sat in the chair by her desk.
She sat on her bed, "It seems like you only ever partially care.. or partially support me."
"What makes you think that?"
"I-I don't know.. when I told you I wanted to go to college and study whatever was needed to get to work at your company, you kinda shut it down. You didn't want to adopt me. You didn't support when I tried to come out to you. And just- I feel like you of all people would've been the most supportive every time and you weren't."
"I'm sorry you feel that way, thats never been my intention. And its not that I didn't want to adopt you, but sometimes that becomes a messy situation-"
"How?"
"Because we would need your mother to agree to it. I've learned from OJ's case, that if there is another parent around somewhere.. its best not to poke the bear.. me trying to adopt you could've led to your mother deciding she wanted full custody of you instead. I'd rather play it safe and know that you're here with us, than to risk losing you altogether." I explained.
She nodded, "do you really think she'd do that?"
"People are unpredictable. I would take a risk on my life a million times before i would risk losing one of you guys." I assured her. "But I want you to know, that I love you just as much as I love OJ and the triplets. All of you are my babies okay?"
"So.. if she wasn't around, like if there wasn't that threat, you would've adopted me?"
"Yes." I nodded, "And I don't want you to think that I wasn't supporting you.."
"But you weren't.."
I exhaled and paused to collect my thoughts, "You wanna know the conversation I had with Lydia after everything? Because you know if I said it to her its sincere right.."
"Yeah."
"Like you said, me of all people should've understood.. I did babe. I didn't want to give you my full support because you were being SO much like me. I want you to do what makes you happy. I don't want you to feel like you have to be like me in order for me to accept you." I touched her leg.
She wiped away an oncoming tear, "I really like helping you make clothes and do paperwork and stuff.."
"Is it the tasks you like? Or getting to do them with Lydia and I? Because I remember you told me you liked watching OJ because it was one thing we needed you for more than anyone else, but that doesn't mean you're ready to start a daycare center." I paralleled, "Just because you like helping out with something, doesn't make it a career choice. You'll always have us, and it can always be a hobby. But don't miss out on something great just because you like something."
"I guess I like being with you guys but also in general.. I don't know." She shrugged.
"I'm not knocking it down.. but I want you to know in your heart that its what you want. If it is what you really want, I will support you completely and if you choose something else, I will support that as well. Only thing I won't support, is you taking the easy way out and doing what your parents do just because its familiar." I told her. "Same thing goes with you coming out. Don't do it just because Lydia and I are, but if its really how you feel, you know we all support you."
"Okay."
"Anything else?"
"I- nothing."
"No no tell me. I can't fix it if you don't tell me what it is that I do that bothers you."
"I just feel like a jerk now.." she groaned.
"I made you feel like a jerk?"
"No.. but I saw that article someone wrote about you, and I don't think its fair to pile so much-"
"I can handle criticism. Thats all the article was, misinterpretations and criticism." I assured her. "Come on, Lydia didn't give me details but she said you had a pretty long list."
"Why do you act differently all the time? You're really mean to people at work, but you're so nice and funny when you do interviews and online you're super confident. But at home you're like insecure and sad and stressed out. Why aren't you honest with your fans about that part of you.. it just makes everything seem so fake. You talk about your past and stuff but then you pretend like it doesn't affect you-"
"When I do interviews and go online.. I have to be a role model to so many people I don't even know. So I embody what I believe is the ideal. I talk about my past because even though not everyone had an identical childhood.. there are so many people who can relate in part to it. And there are people who are still going through something at the moment. So I have to put on the brave face to prove, that it doesn't have to last forever. Your past doesn't have to define your future. And I do show the vulnerable times too. I shared how devastated I was when you were all taken away from me after Ollie went missing." I explained. "But thats just my approach, if you have better ideas.. I will consider them."
"No.. I guess I just didn't get it."
"Okay. Anything else?"
"Not that I can remember now.." she shook her head. "Are you- mad at me?"
"I'm not.. your father is though."
"Really?"
"What about us? Are we good?" I asked her.
"Yeah." She nodded, "I'm sorry."
"Like I told you last time.. we're all entitled to our emotions. I lashed out on you last time, this time you did it. The important thing is, we never say or do anything that we can't take back, and we never stop loving each other." I went to sit beside her. "For the record, you can come stay with us whenever you want. OJ is staying here to keep Zoe company, you're free to choose which house you want to stay at."
"I actually like it here.." she shrugged, "my dad is so strict.."
"Why don't you stay here, and visit us more often?" I suggested, "I'm sure Lydia and Anita appreciate having a live-in babysitter."
"Okay."
"Come over tomorrow, we'll do our ice cream thing like last time."
"Is dad gonna yell at me?"
"Well, he won't make a scene tonight. So you're safe. If you come over tomorrow night, that gives me time to work a little magic and get him to cooperate."
"Do you always use sex to get what you want?"
"Who said anything about sex?"
"Isn't that what you-"
"No.. I do not use sex to manipulate your father. I'm just going to talk to him hun.." I placed her hands in mine.
"Oh okay." She nodded, slightly embarrassed.
"Come on, lets go downstairs." I urged.
QOTD: summer plans??
AOTD: I'll be in Germany for a month and Quebec for a week.