•Dedicated to= shayanntitus
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"Two broken souls will always understand each other."
-Kamoyrocks
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Julia's POV
"You never really told me why you wanted some space." Bianca says from her bed.
I have been at Bianca's house for about two weeks now and I honestly would say that it hasn't been bad. Some would say that this is the stupidest idea that I have ever thought of doing, but believe it or not, I just feel like I'm doing the right thing.
I'm trusting my heart, I just hope it knows where its going.
"Because its awkward, you still hate me, remember? And I don't really feel like to talk about it." I smile slightly.
"Look, we aren't friends, that's for sure, we don't have to be. And I don't hate you, I'm jealous of you." Biamca admits. "And I envy you a lot." She says that part lowly so that I don't hear.
"What was that?" I smirk, cupping my ears to her.
"You heard me." She rolls her eyes. "I'm not trying to take away Jace from you."
"Mi find that hard to believe." I scoff. "Then what you did want then?"
"I wanted someone to love me." She says distantly. She looks out her bedroom window, as if she's remembering something.
"Jace was...perfect. He's the best and deserves so much better than me. I'm glad he found you. I know that I hurt him, it wasn't my intention. I was just...confused. I got my heartbroken while breaking a beautiful persons own. I didn't want to let Jace go, but when I did let him go, I felt happier, like it was the right thing to do."
"I liked the idea of Jace loving me. I know he didn't love me as much as he said he did, and the same goes for me. We were just together because we were too afraid to let each other go and was just in love with what we could've been. I know it, he knows it. He knows how toxic that relationship was and I don't think we could handle it. Its like, I just could feel that he wasn't the one."
"I was still waiting on that spark. I was still waiting on that big excitement, that feeling I knew I would get when I found the one for me. And Jace was just not the one. It was someone else." She sniffs to prevent herself from crying and my heart breaks for her.
"Well, who is it?" I say softly.
"Gabe." She looks at me with sincerity and I know that the Bianca that everyone knows, the whole fake act, is gone. This is real Bianca is out, and she wants someone to hear the story that she has been keeping in behind her mask.
"Gabe means...everything to me. When I first saw him, I was immediately in love. I did everything to try and get him to love me. I just wanted him. And his love. But, he didn't care about me. He didn't want me either. He thought that us being together was a game. That's why, the day when Jace found us in my bedroom, I knew it was all a game to him. He was just using me. And right after Jace left, he broke up with me. Well, we weren't actually together. But I always imagined that we were." She sniffs, and I almost sure that she's near to crying.
"I just...I started to change after him. He broke my heart. And I was left...broken. I haven't said that in a while. But he changed me. I promised that I wouldn't change because of what people did to me but its hard when they've taken away a piece of your soul with them making you feel completely lost."
"He left me crying every night. Slitting my wrist, making me feel as if I wasn't good enough. Making me feel less of myself. Like, no one wants me, or needs me, or that I'm not important. It got to the point where I had severe depression. Thinking about suicide brought me joy. I tried to kill myself in so many ways, to which none worked obviously. I honestly saw no point in living anymore. It just felt hopeless." I cover my mouth as tears start to swell at my eyes.
"I went back to Jace, hoping that somehow he could fix me. Bring back the old me. That's why I didn't want him for you. I wanted to feel needed again but I was only hurting him and you and...I'm sorry."
"Bianca..." I walk over to her now sobbing body. "Please tap cry."
"Look." I shuffle a bit closer to her. "I'm nuh love expert but, mi sure if the guy you love make you cry every night is not yuh soulmate. He wouldn't put himself in a position to loose you, or hurt you. He take yuh love for granted and that's not how it goes. He doesn't show that he loves yuh. So you don't have to love him either. Don't waste your time. Move on."
"And don't depend on other people to give you strength, or to give you happiness. It won't help you to grow. Be your own hero and fight your own battles. You are all you need. Don't allow something like that to hold you down. You are better than that, stronger than that. Slitting your wrist or trying to kill yourself won't make Gabe come back to you. Your gonna rise above this, your gonna win, your gonna be free." She looks at me with hopeful eyes and I smile back at her.
"You really think so?"
"I know so." When she finally smiles back, she hugs me and I couldn't help but laugh.
"So much for treating me Cinderella."
"Your just an exception, don't get too cocky." She rolls her eyes. "Besides, its time for you to tell me why you are taking a 'break' from Jace. And why you need time."
I just stare at her.
I know I've gotten to see the real side of this girl but the question is...
Could I trust her?
"Okay..." and so, I tell her. I skipped most of the personal ones, making sure that if she was just planing to get revenge on me, I'd at least have my sanity in check and secured.
"...so I just felt like I needed break from everything. That's why I left. " I finish, looking at her blankly.
"I see." She nods in understanding. "One question, if you wanted a break from everything, why'd you come here? I mean. You are trying to take a break from everything, why'd you decide that this was the best place to get relief?"
"I don't know. Something just told me to come here. I feel like mi needed here."
"Oh." She looks away. "Can I tell you something?"
"Sure."
"Don't torture yourself." My brows knit in confusion at what she said. "I mean, you love Jace and he obviously loves you too. Your torturing yourself by staying away from him. He just wanted to help. And you probably don't see that now, but one thing I'm sure of is that...you need to go back to him. He's waiting for you with open arms."
"I know he is." I sigh. "Mi just...I'm not ready." I inhale sharply.
"I understand." She nods. "Take all the time you need. And when you feel as if your ready, you go to him. Okay?"
I nod at her, smiling brightly.
"Thank you Bianca." She smiles at me, getting up. "Your not a witch after all."
"Whatever." She rolls her eyes. I watch her as she heads to the door. "I'm gonna go get some chips so we can watch a movie. Sounds cool?"
"Yeah."
"Oh and Julia?"
"Yeah?"
"Thanks for listening."
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A/N: Never let the cruelty of this world change you. I'm serious you guys. You have people out there that would stop at nothing to put you down. Be the stronger person. You stay true to you no matter what happens. Its easy to loose yourself in a world so big and cruel but even if you do loose yourself, you continue to push on and one day, I know you will be better, stronger, and so much wiser.