3 years later...
"No, don't put that there. That would ruin the whole arrangement. The stage was supposed to be just elegant, the theme is dark. The performance won't give something unless we do it dark and black." Sabi ko kay Mandy, yung stage director... we're going to have a charity performance here tonight.
Doing charities was a great stress reliever for me dahil marami kaming natutulungan especially the people who are affected by calamities. The money raised is given to them.
I'm a senior now. I did well, didn't I? My graduation will be in a few days... I'm excited as hell. Pupunta nga si Mommy dito eh. While Kuya is doing a great job at Chicago, sumunod na rin sa kanya si Ate Nadine, they married before Kuya flew. I wasn't able to go but I wished them well. May anak na rin sila ngayon, ang favourite kong pamangkin! His name is Daniel, but we call him Niel, he's adorable, a very smart kid, 3 years old na siya. Bago pa pala ako umalis, buntis na si Ate Nadz, kaya naman nagpakasal na nila. Ate Nadz flew afer a few months, dito na niya pinanganak si Niel. Mommy was very excited nung nagka-apo na siya. Muntik nangang dito rin tumira yan dahil kay Niel eh. Pupunta rin daw sila Kuya. I was worried dahil mag-isa na lang ni mommy but it was just a good thing, nandoon pa rin si manang na 10 years na sa amin at nag-aalaga at tumitingin kay mommy. She has been consistently visiting me thrice a year. I love it that she still manages to visit me. Si Andy naman, nag-stay na sa Pilipinas. Ewan ko sa kanya kung bakit hindi na yun bumalik ng Australia pero sabi niya naman sa akin pag nagkakausap kami, gusto na lang daw niya mag-stay sa Pilipinas. Weirdo siya.
"You're doing a great job, Reena." Mark said sabay akbay niya sa akin.
Mark is one of my close friends here. He's the first one to talk to me too. He's a Fil-Am, his father is American tapos nanay niya is Filipina. Hindi ko maitatanggi na nararamdaman ko nga na may feelings para sa akin si Mark. He's a good person but all I can really give him is friendship. I think he's aware of that.
"Thanks, Mark." Ngiti ko naman sa kanya.
"Hey, love birds! Come on, we have tons to do. We still have to prepare." Tawag naman sa amin ni Mia.
She's lovely, and friendly. Full American girl.
Yan ang tingin nila sa amin ni Mark dito, love birds. That's what they call us. But I just let it go dahil alam na rin naman ni Mark yun. We're not love birds just friends. At hindi maitatago ni Mark yang ngiti niya pag tinatawag kami ng ganun. Sira ulo to talaga.
"Nginingiti ngiti mo na naman diyan?" kunwaring pagsusungit ko kay Mark.
"Nothing, bawal ba maging masaya?" he shrugs. Alam niyan mag-tagalog kaso slang. Tinuruan din kasi niyan ng nanay niya.
"Oo, para sayo bawal. Halika na nga. Mag-ilusyon ka pa diyan." Pang-aasar ko pa rin sa kanya.
"Wag mo nga sirain dreams ko." He said playfully na umakto pang nasasaktan.
Sinundan na lang namin si Mia palabas ng auditorium.
Natapos yung performance namin ng 11 pm. As per usual, Mark walked me home. It's been a habit.
I called my mom when I got home.
We just talked about how the performance have been and so on until he mentioned someone that made my heart jump.
"Do you still remember Kevin? He used to come here, right? Kevin Lim. You're maybe ex-boyfriend? He's one of the finest architects in the Philippines now. Rumors say he's the best in their company." My mom informed me.
Hindi ako agad nakasagot. I haven't heard from him in years. Even Andy won't talk about him. Hindi na rin naman kasi ako nagtatanong eh. It's part of moving on, I think? Well...
"Oh? Good for him." I smile a faint one though my mom couldn't see it.
He's doing well... good for him. He has stood well for himself.
"Anyway, after your graduation you're coming home already, right?" tanong sa akin ng nanay ko. Ma, why of all times bring that topic now?
"Dunno yet."
"Reena. You can't stay there forever." Sermon na naman ng nanay ko. Oh my lord!
"I know. I don't want to discuss that now. I like staying here." Sagot ko kay mommy.
"You want me to die alone, then?" YAN. YAN NA NAMAN. MGA TACTICS MO MA EH!
"Ma. Stop that, will you?"
"Come home then. I'm not getting any younger, anak. Your kuya is-" hindi ko na siya pinatapos.
"I'll think about it. Happy?" I sighed.
She has a point though.
Going home. Yeah, sure. Tutal naman okay na ako di ba? It's been three years. Sure. Going home will be fine. My mom also needs someone to watch her.
"Okay. Samakalawa na ang flight ko palipad diyan."
And that reminds me, she's going here for my graduation. I feel kind of excited.
"Yep. I'll fetch you at the airport ma."
Nagpaalam na rin ako after a few more chikkahan dahil napagod ako sa performance.
As I lie awake in my bed, looking nowhere but the ceiling... iniisip ko lang siya.
How is he? Is he already in a relationship? One of the finest architects now, huh? He's gone a long way in the last 3 years. I'm happy for him.... Hindi ko lang alam kung magiging masaya pa ako kung malalaman kong may girlfriend na nga siya. He didn't take that chance with me, how dare he take chances with other girls kung meron man.
I sighed... walang pupuntahan yung pagiisip ko eh. Itutulog ko na lang to.
I just closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep.
"Mom, use your gloves. It's a bit cold." Paalala ko sa nanay ko.
Kasusundo ko lang sa kanya sa airport. My graduation is tomorrow already. I'm excited to see both Kuya James and Ate Nadine.
"Can we go out and get some hot coffee? I want to have some walk." Tanong sa akin ni mommy.
Parang ngayon lang to nagyaya lumabas ng maginaw? Anong trip mo, ma? But why not go? Besides, I wanna hang out with her.
"Yep, sure."
We went to a coffee shop nearby, it's called Droptop. Lagi ako nagpupunta dito pag gusto ko mag-isa, to think. Kaya lang di ko maiwasang mainggit at mainis kapag may mga magboyfriend akong nakikitang nagd-date dito tapos ang sweet pa. Ang sarap paguntugin ay?
"So... bakit mo naisipang yayain akong lumabas?" nakangiting tanong ko sa nanay ko.
Ganyan yan eh. Parang may gusto nga siyang sabihin sa akin?
"You know Ree, you never asked me about your dad..."
Nagulat ako sa sinabi ni mommy. I'm expecting things that she'll say but that is certainly not one of them. Nakita niya naman siguro yung expression ko? Gah.
"I just didn't want to find out about him." I shrugged.
Ayokong pag-usapan eh. Not even once did I ask neither my mom nor Kuya. Never akong naghanap ng tatay. Why bring this up now?
"Why?" tanong ni mommy.
"Hindi ko alam. Ayoko lang malaman yung dahilan kung bakit wala akong tatay ngayon. Ma, I've lived twenty years of my life without a dad. I can live a fifty more without him." I said, exasperated.
Hindi ko alam kung bakit ba parang may galit ako sa tatay ko kahit na hindi ko pa naman siya nakikilala. It's just that when I think about it, kuntento na ako na wala akong kinalakihang tatay dahil nakakatakot isipin kung ano ng nangyari sa kanya.
"Okay then. Let it be. Well, how would you react if I tell you that I have a fiancée?"
Halos maluwa ko yung mata ko at mabuhos sa mukha ng nanay ko yung kapeng iniinom ko.
What the?!
"Are you serious ma?" nagbabantang tanong ko sa kanya.
"Well... yes." Sagot niya sa akin sabay lahad ng kamay niyang may singsing!
Wow. How the fuck did that happen?
"I didn't even know you were dating!" medyo napapataas yung boses ko dito! Ugh! Sometimes, my mom is so irritating.
"You do now. And please, Chris lower your voice." She silently scolded me. And I'm Chris now? She seldom call me that and I'm not used to it.
"Fine. Saan mo nakilala tong pontso pilatong lalaking to?" hindi ko mapigilan yung tono ng pananalita ko.
"Watch your mouth." She points at me bago niya kwinento kung paano sila nagkakilala ng lalaking to.
While she was telling me that story, I can't help but be mortified by this news. Does my brother know about this?
Sabi niya nagkakilala daw sila sa isang meeting sa Cebu two years ago. Imagine -two years ago at wala man lang sinasabi sa akin?!
She says he's a good-looking man, single- no kids, in his mid-fifties, sweet and very caring. Wow, now my mom has a boyfriend? No, scratch that. She has her fiancee!
Nakabalik na kami ng apartment pero hindi pa rin ako nakakabawi sa gulat ko. Paano ba naman kasi yun? Bago pa magbago ang isip ko, naisipan kong tawagan si kuya. I get my iPhone from the back pocket of my jeans and call him.
Kevin's POV
"Sir, remind ko lang po yung meeting niyo with Ms. Salvador ng 7 pm tonight." My assistant said professionaly at the intercom.
"Did you check the reservations at the restaurant already?"
"Yes, sir."
"Okay. Make my itinerary for the next two weeks." I instruct her. I'd like to know my schedule ahead of time.
"Okay, sir."
Three years is a long time. Lagi kong tinatanong kay Andy kung kumusta na si Reena. She would always say she's fine. I want to believe that. I'm buying it. Ayoko ng idagdag pa yun sa listahan ng mga iisipin ko.
She's a very lovely woman –one of a kind that's why I'm afraid that I would just make her life miserable as I am.
"Hi!" nawala ang mga iniisip ko ng may biglang dumating –si Andy.
She's always this hyper, doesn't she get tired?
"Anong ginagawa mo dito?" tanong ko sa kanya sabay balik ng tingin ko sa pinag-aaralan kong plano para sa project ko with Ms. Salvador.
"Nothing. Just checking up. Do you have time?"
"Time for what?" ano namang gusto neto?
"Let's have a snack. Take a break for goodness' sake. You're such a workaholic."
"Can't." simpleng sagot ko lang sa kanya.
"Okay. May dala naman ako eh." sabay nun ang paglalabas niya ng mga tupperwares.
What the fuck?
"What?" she innocently asks na para bang wala naman siyang ginagawang mali.
"Get out." Pagpapaalis ko sa kanya.
"Here, eat this. That's your favourite." Nakangiting nilagay niya yun sa harapan ko.
Napakunot noo ako. She always do this. What does she get from this?
"Fine. Will you get out after we eat?"
I can't resist this food. This really is my favuorite –pesto.
She smiles at me with glee.
Sinusungitan mo na nakangiti pa rin at lahat lahat? Kung di ba siya weird niyan? Tss..