phil.
if you had told phil lester that in a month or two he would be kissing a homeless boy; a homeless boy who had, until only a few weeks ago, solely brushed his teeth in fast food restaurant bathrooms; he would have probably slapped you. and yet, here he was, doing just that.
phil's arms wrapped around dan's waist the way they always did when they were cuddling, and he heard dan take a shaky breath, his fingers brushing to his jaw. it could've been a thousand years or a minute, phil couldn't have told you. but eventually dan pulled back- dan was pulled back- and phil tried to regain any composure he had left, which was surprisingly little.
he hardly knew why he'd done that. well, he knew, but it didn't make sense. he almost didn't want it to make sense- that would make it real.
katrina was talking to dan in a hushed voice, but phil wouldn't have been able to understand even if they were shouting. his head was heavy.
"what's wrong with you?" sunny's voice asked from behind him and phil turned, his eyes wide.
"nothing's wrong with me. does there look like there's something wrong with me?"
sunny looked at him like he had no idea who he was. "um... kind of? i don't know, you're just zoning out a little..."
phil cleared his throat and ran his fingers through his hair, trying to figure out how to look not zoned out. "i'm fine."
"alright..." he narrowed his eyes. "you have to meet people, remember? make conversation."
phil nodded, his face flushing. he didn't know how he was supposed to focus on anything right then. his heart was racing and he felt a little dizzy...
"seriously, what's your deal?" sunny repeated as he dragged him by the sleeve toward the stairs on the side of the stage. phil bit his lip hard and came to a halt, waiting for sunny to turn and face him.
"i kissed him," he muttered, watching sunny's face. sunny's eyes widened and he leaned forward.
"what? oh my god, are you serious?"
phil nodded blankly. sunny tugged on his sleeve, his expression melting into excitement. "you like him, don't you? i fucking knew it, phil, oh my god. are you gonna ask him out? are you gonna do it again?"
phil tugged his sleeve away, his heart skipping a beat. "i don't know, sunny, i... i don't even know why i did that."
"okay, well i do, and it's because you like him."
phil groaned and rubbed at his face just so he could hide his blush. "this is exactly why i didn't want to tell you." he could feel sunny rolling his eyes.
"not everything is so dramatic, phil. you like a boy, so you kissed him. it's not so complicated."
"but it is complicated," phil hissed, tugging at his hair, likely ruining dan's work on it, but he didn't care how his hair looked. "we're... i wasn't even sure we were proper friends, and what if he didn't like it? what if he won't talk to me now?"
"well, did he kiss you back?"
phil tried to think on it. the whole thing felt like a blur, a pleasant blur of his fingers in dan's soft hair, and dan's scent, and his warm, full lips... now thinking of it, yeah. dan had kissed him back. he had pressed closer to him and wrapped his arms around his neck...
phil didn't reply but his blush said it all. sunny beamed.
"see? it's simple. you like him, he likes you."
phil opened his mouth but someone peeked in from behind the curtain and phil glanced at them, freezing when he recognized his father's somewhat stony expression. he stepped in, phil's mother trailing behind him.
phil's mother hugged him immediately, and phil hugged her back, attempting not to look still utterly star struck.
"oh, phil, that boy was amazing. i'm so glad you had him play, he has to come for dinner again sometime."
"yeah, he's pretty great," sunny cut in, giving phil a knowing look. phil glared at him.
phil's dad was watching him quietly, but finally he nodded and stepped forward. "i'm proud of you for pulling off all of this."
phil flushed and tried to think of what to say, sputtering in surprise, but as it turned out, he didn't have to reply. the faint sound of shouting met phil's ears and he frowned, looking at sunny. sunny shrugged, looking equally perplexed. when phil finally recognized the voice to be dan's, his eyes widened and he ran to the edge of the stage, jumping down.
a small crowd had gathered around him, watching the scene with confused glances and concerned expressions. phil pushed past a few people to see what was happening.
sure enough, dan was there, and kat was practically hanging off his arm. two people, a middle aged couple it seemed, were standing before them, looking upset in a way phil couldn't identify.
the woman was trying to speak but dan was having none of it. he actually covered his ears with his hands and shouted over her. for a second panic washed over phil, thinking that maybe these were dan's parents, but they looked a little too young for that, and they didn't resemble him, really. but something was definitely seriously wrong.
"we just wanted to-"
"no. i don't care what you wanted to do, this is your fault." dan's voice was harsher than phil had ever heard it, but he could also feel the pure emotion behind it. it was so much more than anger. kat tugged on his arm.
"dan," she said, her voice soft, yet shaky. "come on, let's just go..."
dan whirled on her, and phil finally got a good look at his face. his cheeks were pink and tear stained. "you aren't mad? you aren't upset at them, kat? they did this, not us, i thought this was my fault but it isn't, is it? it's theirs."
kat met phil's eyes, helplessness flashing in her irises, and phil pushed past the remaining people to get to them.
kat stepped back and phil replaced her, taking dan's hand. dan looked at him, his expression enveloped in pain.
"listen," the man began, but dan turned back to him, scowling.
"i will not listen to you, you killed him!" dan yanked his hand away from phil, and phil was scared for a second he'd try to tackle the guy. "he'd still be alive if you were better parents, you know that, don't you? why'd he leave, huh? you don't think i didn't see those marks on his hands, do you?"
phil grabbed his wrist again, focusing more on keeping him from getting pummeled than comforting him right that second. he got it now. these were earl's parents for sure, and it baffled him how they could find it appropriate to show up here after everything.
"we did not hurt our son," the woman hissed at him. dan glared at her fiercely.
"he ran away. i don't think you even bothered to look for him."
now guilt replaced the anger on her face and she gave him a mean look. "that's none of your business."
dan laughed dryly. "none of my business? i took care of that boy for two years of my life, and katrina took care of him longer than that. it's completely my business."
by the way kat grabbed phil's arm tightly, phil could tell she agreed with him, but really didn't want anything to escalate. he cleared his throat.
"i think you two should leave."
the man's jaw tightened as he turned to phil. he was rather huge. if it came down to it, phil definitely couldn't take him. jesus.
"i am not leaving. that's my son."
"was your son," dan corrected stonily. phil stepped in front of him, unsure if he was protecting him or earl's parents.
"please just go," he muttered, glaring at them. he had quite a bit of practice being cold. "get out of here, i'm serious."
there was a pause, but finally the woman sighed angrily, tugging on the man's sleeve. "come on, richard. these people don't want to be civil."
the man grunted but let her pull him away and they turned to walk off. dan pushed past phil to shout after them, still clearly livid.
"yeah, that's right! you left him once, you'll leave him always. it's your fault he's fucking gone, you abandoned him. this is your fault, you absolute awful-"
it happened in a flash. the man whirled around and ran at him, practically on him in seconds, smacking him hard across the face.
dan gasped and stumbled backwards, falling to the ground. phil caught a glimpse of red on his cheek and an impeccable fear and anger washed over him.
kat was already screaming and she ran forward, shoving the man back as hard as she could. sunny ran to dan but phil got there first, helping him up, pulling his hand away to examine his face. there was a red mark on his cheek, but it was only bleeding a little bit. phil brushed it away with his sleeve and turned to glare at the couple.
"leave before i call the fucking police."
this time they left right away, and phil felt arms wrap around his neck like dan was a child who had fallen at the playground. phil pulled him close, examining his face and running his thumb over the mark on his cheek. dan flinched, but smiled weakly at him.
"m' okay," he whispered, angry tears running down his cheeks. "i'm okay, phil, i promise."
phil nodded, sighing in relief. the awkwardness he was sure he would feel after their kiss was completely forgotten. he held him tighter, wondering how tightly he could hug him without suffocating him, before pulling back.
he couldn't help thinking how incredibly differently this whole thing had gone from how he had expected.
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god better chapters coming soon i promise